How to wear clothes articles - The Guardian

[helena]

How to wear clothes
Hang up the bootcuts

[FONT=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]Jess Cartner-Morley
Saturday December 10, 2005
The Guardian

[/FONT][FONT=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]Much of fashion is strictly optional. Unless you work in Vogue House, no one is going to raise an eyebrow if you pass up the trend for capes and stick to last year's trenchcoat. If you so choose, you can ignore my bleating on about belts and pencil skirts, and spend the winter in wide-legged trousers - there's no higher authority to which I can report you. But there are some elements of your wardrobe that you must keep up with, because not to do so makes you appear oblivious to the world around you.

Some people, of course, pride themselves on being hopelessly out of touch with fashion, in the same way that they like to show off about not knowing who the Arctic Monkeys are or who Kerry Katona is. But you and I know that such an attitude is unbecoming the modern, culturally mobile mover and shaker. Yes, we do.

Now, here's the really scary bit: I'm talking about your favourite jeans. Your Seven jeans, or the Moto versions: the bootcut ones that hug the thigh and flare out from just below the knee in a way that is oh-so-flattering. These have become such a staple part of our wardrobe that there is a danger we will carry on wearing them, despite the growing evidence that the drainpipe is not a cruel joke, but the new world order, for women at least.
Bootcut jeans and trousers are a hard habit to break, because they look so damned good. Personally, I still can't do drainpipes, but I have compromised on a pair of Gap jeans that, while not tight at the ankle, hang straight down the calf so that they hug a pair of high heels. (Don't panic. There is a third way: wide-legged trousers are fine. It's just bootcuts that are done for.) Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but hang up those bootcuts. And, gentlemen, that kipper tie could do with a break, too.[/FONT]

 

[fab_fifties_fille]

thanks for posting helena ... yes unfortunately bootcuts are very much 'out' it seems. I do think the 'cigarette leg' jeans she talks about are a good comprimise if you don't have the figure to pull off full on ankle hugging 'skinnys'

 

[helena]

yes I agree FFF - I bought two pairs of topshop skinny jeans - one in a size 27" and I looked like a freak in them and another in a 30" and they look really good. So maybe skinnies are ok if you go up a size. Thats my tip anyway.

 

[fab_fifties_fille]

I really couldnt get away with them at the moment My legs aren't my best asset...

They're not a very 'me' thing anyways I don't think...I'd prefer to go for the cigarette legs, I also go for dark jeans...I'm not a light jean kind of person. I feel indigo is more flattering anyways...I don't really like skinny jeans in light colours that much. They look really nice in indigo and black.

 

[helena]

I put the smaller ones back....the ones I kept are indigo but with fading. I agree the white one sare HIDEOUS. ..even Kate moss lots terrible in them imho! Jeans are sooo difficult though

 

[fab_fifties_fille]

It's funny because I know that these skinny jeans will be around for a while to come...but then it's going to be one of those garments we look back on and probably have a bit of a chuckle at, but then they'll come round again re-invented in the next decade or so...I'm interested to see what the next phase in denim will be.

 

[helena]

its been a few yrs since we had demin skirts FFF. ...or baggy

 

[fab_fifties_fille]

then we lie in wait helena....

 

[aerin]

[FONT=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]the drainpipe is not a cruel joke, but the new world order, for women at least. [/FONT]

Haha! I already love this column. So smart and witty. Thanks for posting it, Helena! I shall come back and read the back entries after my finals are over!

 

[QuirkyCool]

I'm afraid I shall have to ignore her.
Not as far as the bootcuts go. I have not worn bootcuts since...more than a year ago now.

I have a couple of pairs of straight legged jeans,and I have worn them once or twice.

But mostly,I have stopped wearing jeans. By this stage,I know what suits me and what would be a very,very big mistake. And "skinny" jeans falls into the latter category for me.

If it were possible for me to go and try on various other styles of jeans (the cigarette ones you mention,for example) I would...but Holland will catch up on the no-bootcut-jean fact about 3 years from now,the way it went with the Ugg boots.

And I'm not ordering a probably iffy pair of trousers from the internet.

So it's down with jeans!!

 

[Meg]

ugh, i really can't stan Jess Cartner-Morley. Wow, skinny jeans, she's really on the edge of fashion I just can't stand the way she writes as if she's got the inside scoop while other people have been talking about these things for ages. anyway, this is one of her lesser annoying articles and i agree. I have levi's patty annes that I stretch the ankle of a bit to make it more slim straight leg than drainpipe.

 

[stilettogirl84]

Hang up the bootcuts

I will simply stop wearing jeans until this horrible trend passes. I hope it doesn't take more than five years. . . .

dear god

 

[aerin]

geez. tough crowd.

 

[helena]

How to wear clothes
Wrapped up for Christmas

[FONT=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]Jess Cartner-Morley
Saturday December 17, 2005
The Guardian

[/FONT]True lovers of Christmas know that true Christmassi-ness is possible only with the benefit of foresight, military-style organisation and hard graft. (For instance, the cook's guide to Christmas lunch, according to Delia, allows one 10-minute break between Christmas Eve morning and noon on Christmas Day, which must contravene human rights.)
The same is true of Christmas party dressing: without planning, you'll find yourself in a gorgeous dress, but hiding it under a dull coat, since it's too cold for spaghetti straps and you don't have a cover-up. Or, in too hastily packing a day-to-night change, you'll have a great outfit but the wrong underwear, no perfume and no evening bag, so will feel like a drag queen without his make-up.

The way to deal with such problems is to turn the fundamental dilemma of night-time party-going in December (ie, that it's cold and you'll have to walk miles to find a taxi home) into a virtue by celebrating wrapped-up wintriness as a fashion art form. For a start, you don't have to wear party shoes with a party dress if you have a pair of high-heeled knee-length boots - they must be the tight kind, rather than slouchy, over-jeans ones, but it doesn't matter if they're round- or pointy- toed. Also, it's best if the hem of the dress just covers the top of the boot. Or, if you want to wear sandals, wear them with black opaque tights rather than nude ones: it looks best if the contrast is deliberate, so choose matt tights and your palest, shiniest sandals. And before you buy another bare-shouldered dress, think about a fake-fur wrap or a little cropped velvet evening jacket instead: it makes no sense to have 12 party dresses and wear the same cardie over all of them. There are many ways in which you have to suffer to be beautiful, but being cold isn't one of them.

 

[QuirkyCool]

An article particularly suited to English ladies,methinks...I have never seen so much cold,bluish-white exposed flesh as in London in December....

 

[helena]

Quirky - you should venture further north - to Newcastle or ABerdeen - the girls are practiacally naked. I even saw a girl in a Burberry bikini top once!!!

 

[QuirkyCool]

And the funny thing is that they're always accompanied by a guy in a really thick puffa jacket/anorak .

 

[helena]

^^^well the trend here is actually that men don't wear jackets....they are going out say in the snow with just a t-shirt on....Its really ridiculous. Its within certain laddish circles who seem to believe it is homosexual to wear a jacket....can you imagine?

 

[QuirkyCool]

Darwin was right about survival of the fittest!!

 

[fab_fifties_fille]

Quirky - you should venture further north - to Newcastle or ABerdeen - the girls are practiacally naked. I even saw a girl in a Burberry bikini top once!!!

HAHAHA I nearly choked there!!! I was JUST about to say 'oi quirky, you haven't seen Newcastle...' yes as I've heard quoted to me many times, 'Newcastle...where the women don't wear coats' ...or much else for that matter I fortunately haven't been donning any burberry bikini tops aroond the toon...oh gawd I can just imagine. I should really do an insider scoop and take pictures around the bigg market on a friday/saturday night...