The Hills

[lemoneko]

I also can't stand Kristin's voice. Just so annoying.

 

[lmelanie]

apparently justin bobby is supposed to be kristin's love interest on the show...how can they know that if its "reality" tv?

 

[avantgarde]

I absolutely LOVE how kristin caught the bouquet at heidi's wedding, and how it's going to be the season finale

that's some genius writing, people

 

[stateofbliss]

Gawker.com recaps of the Hills are always much funnier/more interesting than the show itself. Here's the latest:

The Hills: The Trip to Satan's Dungeon

By Richard Lawson, 3:07 PM on Tue May 12 2009

That wisp dancing up into the azure sky isn't smoke from the Fire of Santa Barbara. No, it's bits of the dearly departed soul of Spencerina, fleeting up to heaven to make handbags with God.
Yup. Handbags Pratt died on The Hills last night, because Kelly Cutrone demands perfection and farting slowly into a dress bag while your eyes google around in your head and boys named Robert, Roberrrrtoooo, Rooobbbeerrrtooo call you on your big pink chunkyPhone is not exactly perfection.
Handbags' laziness is interesting. As the by-far most unattractive person on the show (sorry, but it's true), you'd think she'd be wary of painting herself as a complete villain, because then she might risk becoming as dispensable as Jen Bunny. You know? Like, Buffy had a major villain every season, and then she killed them at the end and they were gone for good. Which could happen to Handbags. Because she does play the dim, dumb villain to Lauren's increasingly likable taskmaster. And it's horrible. That insolent, Cheesecake Factory face. That fried, straw hair. Those raccoon eyes that just blink in dull patterns, like buoys far out in some placid and fishless stretch of sea. She's the forgotten Fraggle, the one left to molder in a deep and dank and faraway cave, strange strains of rock 'n' roll bouncing off the bats and stalagmites and translucent spider bugs and all the guano. Her floppy face rippling ever so slightly in a soft cavern breeze. Where does the wind come from? her walnut Fraggle brain struggles to ponder. Who makes these things that we cannot see?
The problem at work was this: Lauren asked Hangbags to put some clothes in a bag. I know, I shouldn't be so hard on the poor girl. That is a really hard task. Like if someone asked me to do that with as little explanation as Lauren gave, I would totally like pick up one piece of clothing and throw it violently at the floor. Then I would pick up the bag and sorta paw at if for a while. Maybe dribble a little iced tea on it to see what happened. Then I'd pick up some more clothes and stuff them all into a little ball and then put that ball on my head and say, out loud, "Hat." Then I might stare out the window for a while, watching cars go by, a pod of dolphins swimming through the clouds. "Hat," I would say again, quieter this time, more pondering. Eventually I would get scared—of the building creaks, of the hissing steam machine, of the big black telephone—and would slowly back out of the room, turning off the lights, then walking very fast down the hall and out the door. Because that is what a person of above average intelligence would do when someone says "put those clothes in that bag" and doesn't explain any further. We're not mind readers, Lauren. We're human beings!
So Handbags did just that and when Lauren arrived the next morning at Smashmouth Studios, where the band just plays "All Star" over and over and over again until their fingers are raw to the bone because this is the prison sentence they must carry to term, she didn't have the proper clothes that she needed for the bigtime fashion photo music shoot. Lo was there, because she works for Smashmouth and hey now she's a rockstar and she and Lauren grumbled about Handbags, who was having lumpch with Roberto Benigni, who was doing bittersweet dances on the back of his chair. "D'ya wan' me 'a callll some'ody?" Handbags drawled, some stupid smirk spreading across her face.
While she was smirking, other things were happening. Heidi fell down some stairs and when she woke up there were beautiful stars in the sky and the grass was moving with insects and maybe also the Zalinksi kids and she could hear woodchucks chattering away to each other and a small warm puddle formed around her midsection and she was peeing and then her phone made little twittery bell sounds and it was a text message from Barnacle the Barmaid, that one that Spencer likes to be told to flirt with. The text read: "Hat" so Heidi knew she was at work. After a few days, Heidi got up from the grass, said goodbye to the Thompsons (it had been them in the grass all along!) and cried for their dead ant friend and went to Barnacle's bar.
Barnacle's bar is a rundown old crow's nest out by the docks, surrounded by mist and fog, the knob-knobbling of peglegs on wooden planks, the Doppler caws of unseen gliding seagulls. She creaked open the door and two rusty old seamen glared at her from behind their frothy mugs of ale. "Aye, Barnacle!" Heidi shouted, cocking her pistol, cracking her knuckles. "If it's a fight ye want, a fight ye'll git." The fight was:
— You are a sl*t!
— I believe you are crazy!
— When's the last time you saw your self in the mirror?
— You should go to church.
— Why are your pants so blue, huh?
— You smell of apricots.
— Go take a dive off Clausen's Pier.
— Is this your thumbtack?
— I'm scared
— Goodnight, Barnacle.
Yeah, Heidi called everyone sluts and Barnacle called everyone crazy and so they agreed to disagree. They shook hands, turned back to back, walked three paces, and then dueled. The two salty boatsmen fell dead, smoke rising from the half-dime sized wounds in their chests. "Aye, a good stratagem," growled Barnacle. "Seaslut!" chortled Heidi. Then the play ended and the curtain fell and everyone clapped and the girls bowed and everyone agreed that the New Bedford Players have been top notch ever since Stefan came from New York City to teach drama at the high school and volunteered to run the local theater company too. Stefan's so nice. Have you met his roommate Linus? Oh he's wonderful, Mitsy. He's a chef you know, at some fancy restaurant in Westport. Mmhmm. You should try his muffins. They're delish. When she got home, Heidi told Spencer it was like going into Satan's dungeon, then she dared Spencer to ever cheat on her again. She dared her husband to cheat on her. Terrific.
While Heidi and Barnacles celebrated at the cast party (Linus made little finger foods!), Audrina was dealing with some major gigundo problems. See, everyone knows that she and Brody had hot sweaty reality show sex in his Mexican/Hawaiian hotel room, including Brody's terrifying female partner Jayde Scorpion and now Audrina's terrifying female partner, Justin Bobby. Audrina had work and work means never having to say "ignore call" so she answered when JB called and then they met for dinner and Audrina didn't even really sit down she just yelled at him "no calls no texts no emails no candygrams (cause I'll know you're just Jaws pretending) and no nothing cause we're over, Buster Brown, I'm a strong independent lady who doesn't know where her car is and would, um, like a little help do you think maybe it's in this white cage of emotion?" Justin Bobby wasn't hearin' it cause he gots to be on the show y'all! But it was too late. Audrina was sealed in her cage and Justin Bobby was almost out of quarters and he could see, just arcing around the North Star there, was his magic San Fran city bus coming to take him and Alfre Woodward to the Underworld. References!
Back at Disaster Central H.Q. Handbags was meekly apologizing to Lauren for getting confused about what "put those clothes in this bag" means. Lauren was testy and breezy, terse and pursed. Then a rumble and a shriek came tearing through the sky, like a thousand MiG jets coming screaming for Goose, and a blazing glare of light and there was Kelly, in her high boots and furling cape, her long jeweled space scepter glimmering in the Southland sun.
"You," she snapped at Lauren. "In my office."
Lauren went trotting off, while Handbags receded into her dark, forgotten Fraggle cave of worry. Cutrone's face was only bone and Lauren was scared. "I want you to fire her," the bones of Kelly intoned. "I want you to dance." And so Lauren danced. "No. Dance sexy."
So Lauren danced as hard and as sexy as she could and eventually Kelletor was sated and she was sent back to her desk. "Quick, like a guillotine," Kelly advised her about the firing. But, Lauren was scared that she needed to save that for sweeps or something so she didn't say anything. "Maybe she doesn't know yet," Handbags murmbled.
Maybe she doesn't, Handbags.
Maybe no one knows.
I'll tell you what I do know. I haven't had that much fun at a Players cast party since Brigadoon in '89. Remember that? Stan Cranston tried to kiss Marsha Welby on Sue Nicols' back porch? Ha! We were so young then. So very young. How old are you, Linus? You can't be a day over 29. Can you? You just can't be.
You're going to make someone very happy someday, Linus.
I just promise you. I really do.

gawker.com

Once this season is over, I'm done with The Hills. I only watch (and end up ffwding most of the show) for Lauren and Lo anyways. Oh and for JustinBobby too! I'm glad Kelly Cutrone is getting her own show on Bravo. I wonder when that will premiere?

 

[Label Basher]

Stephanie is a dumb***. Lauren should have fired her by the end of the ep but no they have to drag it out.

I rolled my eyes so many times while watching this ep.

I agree once Lauren is gone I'm done.

 

[beb415]

If Kristin takes over the Hills, I will stop watching it as well. As much as I think that she is very pretty and will make the show "much more exciting and fun", she is not a nice person. She has no charisma and all about drama, back-stabbing, sleeping around, parties, and all. But I guess that's what a lot of people want to see in "an entertaining and exciting show", which makes me sad to see that successful shows nowadays have to be like this in order to attract audiences.

The Hills is the Hills today because of LC and she brings a refreshing difference to a reality TV. She is not just a pretty face. She's not just about parties and boys. She is a friend with a good heart. She's sincere and humble. She doesn't tear down every other girl in proximity.

Thank you, took every word out of my mouth. It is very rare that we see a reality star with such a pleasant, grounded personality even in the midst of all the Hollywood drama. Kristen, on the the other hand, has the run-of-the-mill, drama queen personality that views find "entertaining and exciting." As 'fictitious' as the show is, I think the persona she portrays on The Hills is genuine.

 

[beb415]

Furthermore, I am sad that Lauren is no longer the focal point of the show. Everyone else, especially Stephanie, definitely gets more airtime than Lauren.

 

[couturecandystor]

I dont see why everything has to be a competition with everyone on the hills? Lc is better then kristen, kristen is better then LC, Lo is better then LC and LC is better then Lo, Heidi is better then LC and LC is better then heidi and on and on it goes. They're not living their life competing with each other everyday so why when talking about it does it always have to end up an arguement about who is better? Cant they each be better or worse on their own?
I dont like Heidi but its not because I think LC is better but just because of heidi on her own. They're all individuals so I think the comparing needs to stop and just judge/not judge on their own

Because LC and Kristin were ~*rivals*~ in high school and unfortunately, despite their ages, some fans of the shows still appear to be stuck there.

& Not commenting on anyone's specific post, but: MTV wanted to do a spin-off with Kristin. She turned it down, and for whatever reason, Lauren did the Hills, which went on to become hugely successful. People can argue why it was successful until they're blue in the face, but there is never going to be a straight answer because everyone tunes in for different reasons. One person can insist it was Speidi, but frankly, everyone I know watched for Lauren and her friendships. If they had Tivo, they'd fast forward through Speidi's scenes. I don't even really watch the show anymore, because we see so little of Lauren. But that doesn't make either one of us right or wrong, that just means we had different motivations to watch.

 

[lady B]

Stephanie is a dumb***

I think that the only thing we have to remember from last episode.Those 15025563 lines long recap are so unnecessary

It's Official: Kristin Cavallari is Heading to 'The Hills'

10:16 am / May 14th, 2009
Rumors have been circulating for weeks that former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari was in talks to replace Lauren Conrad on The Hills. Now, EW can exclusively confirm that Cavallari will indeed be starring in MTV's reality series. The 22-year old's first appearance will be the May 31st season finale (she catches the bouquet at Heidi and Spencer’s wedding, natch) and she'll appear in 10 episodes this fall. Cavallari, now a budding actress, is fully prepared to stir things up. “It’s a TV show,” she explains. “I’m not going into it like, ‘I’m going to make great friendships with these people.’ It’s work! And drama sells. I think that’s why they’re bringing me in, because I know what works.” Cavallari had plenty more to reveal in her exclusive interview with EW.

On why she’s coming back to reality TV:
“The goal for me is to get my fans excited about me again. When I first started out, I had a celebrity name but I didn’t have the acting skills I have now. If I have some buzz with my name again, I feel like it will only help.”

On rumors that producers are plotting a romance between her and Justin Bobby (which The Hills producers deny
“I have no idea! [laughs] I don’t think MTV would be like, ‘Oh you’re dating him now. This is your boyfriend.' But they might try and set up situations. I’m totally cool with that. Again, it’s a TV show and they need to make it entertaining.”

On how her version of The Hills will differ from Lauren’s:
“I’m a completely different person than Lauren. I have a lot more energy. I’m more outgoing. I’m a little more spontaneous. And she has a boyfriend so she’s not dating on the show. I’m very open to dating and finding a guy.”

On introducing Heidi and Spencer:
“It’s so funny. I guess it was 4 years ago. I was dating Brody [Jenner] and Spencer was Brody’s best friend. I had known Heidi when she was friends with Lauren when we were still filming Laguna Beach. Heidi was like, ‘Hook me up with someone. I wanna meet a guy.’ And Brody and I were kinda like, ‘Well, maybe Spencer?’ We’ll see what happens.’ So we all went on a double date and they just hit it off right away and now they’re married.”

For more from Cavallari, including her reunion with Laguna frenemy Lauren and her relationship with the rest of the cast, and to hear how producers plan to "put a new spin" on The Hills next fall, pick up the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly hitting stands this Friday.

Source:HollywoodInsider

It's official God hates us

 

[18ForEver]

Have the new episodes been aired?
I've seen most of them but Heidis bar brawl,audrians and boodys "fling",Laurens.....wait what does Lauren really do......are all advertised,can we watch them online b4 Mtv?
I cant believe its actually going to continue without Lauren,its so scripted even with speidi.Speaking of scripted,The Scrip,an irish band are supposedly making an appearance.Has anyone any facts on that basis?

 

[lady B]

Have the new episodes been aired?
The Scrip,an irish band are supposedly making an appearance.Has anyone any facts on that basis?

Yeah,The Script did their appearance on last epi.I love them

 

[Princess2008]

Im no longer watching, shes so full of herself.

 

[Tiffannie]

WOW! So Kristen is really going back to reality tv after her hiatus years.
Well we all know now that the show is going to be super fake.

 

[blankpage]

It's already so fake.

 

[Mk's Beauty Shop]

Because LC and Kristin were ~*rivals*~ in high school and unfortunately, despite their ages, some fans of the shows still appear to be stuck there.

& Not commenting on anyone's specific post, but: MTV wanted to do a spin-off with Kristin. She turned it down, and for whatever reason, Lauren did the Hills, which went on to become hugely successful. People can argue why it was successful until they're blue in the face, but there is never going to be a straight answer because everyone tunes in for different reasons. One person can insist it was Speidi, but frankly, everyone I know watched for Lauren and her friendships. If they had Tivo, they'd fast forward through Speidi's scenes. I don't even really watch the show anymore, because we see so little of Lauren. But that doesn't make either one of us right or wrong, that just means we had different motivations to watch.

yeah which was what 5 years ago? 6? I just think that everyone should judge a person good or bad on their own not comparing to other people. I think kristen should do her own show because she'll have a hard time following LC and we'll probably find she'll try to start dramas about LC ( egged on by the producers of course) just to get some ratings.. I dont think kristen should do well BECAUSE lauren left, she should do well on her own personality.. I think its childish to compare so much when they're completely different people and that goes for everyone on the show

 

[couturecandystor]

yeah which was what 5 years ago? 6? I just think that everyone should judge a person good or bad on their own not comparing to other people. I think kristen should do her own show because she'll have a hard time following LC and we'll probably find she'll try to start dramas about LC ( egged on by the producers of course) just to get some ratings.. I dont think kristen should do well BECAUSE lauren left, she should do well on her own personality.. I think its childish to compare so much when they're completely different people and that goes for everyone on the show

Sorry if my original post didn't make it clear, but I was agreeing with you The whole LC vs. Kristin thing is very immature, very high school. They've moved on from it, but for whatever reason, some fans just can't.

I also agree that Kristin should just do her own show. I don't really see where she fits in on The Hills.

 

[tastes_like_chic]

Could Kristen be anymore up herself:
On how her version of The Hills will differ from Lauren’s:
“I’m a completely different person than Lauren. I have a lot more energy. I’m more outgoing. I’m a little more spontaneous. And she has a boyfriend so she’s not dating on the show. I’m very open to dating and finding a guy.”

 

[loladonna]

The LC vs Kristin thing had died out along with Kristin's career a while ago. It is only recently when Kristin started attaching her name to the Hills via rumors and now actually joining the cast that the whole LC vs Kristin thing is being revived. It must be frustrating for Lauren to have achieved so much success in her own right only to have Kristin once again try to capitalize on a tired rivalry by coming onto into Lauren's hit show.

MTV is nuts to think they can "replace" Lauren who is the heart and soul of the show. People literally grew up with her the past 5 years. You can't just drop someone else in her shoes and expect the audience to have that same attachment.

 

[couturecandystor]

MTV is nuts to think they can "replace" Lauren who is the heart and soul of the show. People literally grew up with her the past 5 years. You can't just drop someone else in her shoes and expect the audience to have that same attachment.

I agree, which is why I think that a) if they want to bring Kristin back, they need to give her her own show, with her own friends, centered around her own life and b) that The Hills won't last more than one season beyond this current one.

Sidenote: I'd just scanned the articles before, I hadn't really read them. Does Kristin really believe that being on The Hills will help her career as a 'serious' actress? !

 

[lmelanie]

i just want to see what will happen with kristin on the show..she is a lot more interesting than LC as far as drama goes..LC's life just seems too boring for TV nowadays..which is good for her..