How to look sexy without crossing the line

[GasolineRainbow]

^Interesting that you brought that up, because I was going to get into my whole "it's all about the context" schtick again. Repetitive, I know, but I think it's especially fitting for this thread. What looks sexy on a magazine cover can go a bit too far in real life.

First off, it's annoyingly politically correct, but I'd just like to note that we can't know who may or may not be a prostitute, both in real life and especially on an online forum. Clothes don't make the person, though life would be so much easier if it were so. With that out of the way, what does looking like a tramp mean?

For me, it's an appearance that solicits sex in such a way that it neglects all other qualities that an outfit or overall look may convey. It lacks complexity. There is seemingly nothing to scratch beneath the surface, so it has an immediate, visceral effect. And outside of a red light district, it garners discomfort and disapproval from others, more than anything. To me, it's mainly discomfort. Sexy is more intriguing, even more inviting, strangely enough.

Having said that, it's just impossible to make definite distinctions between sexy and trampy, for all the reasons others have pointed out so far. And our standards are constantly shifting. I think showing almost the entire leg is totally accepted at the moment, or those really loose tank tops that expose the bra. Sure, some people will still argue those looks are trashy, but the fact is, they are accepted by the fashion norm, plus they are everywhere. Other things, like protruding cleavage, are no longer having their day in the sun (or plastic surgeon's office). Or think of trendy latex leggings versus the outdated extreme low-riding trousers. Latex leggings are surely more scandalous!? But no. That's not how it goes. Against all logic, I still think latex leggings are the more refined choice. Fashion is confusing, man...

I enjoy the way our standards of provocation are constantly being tested and pushed and even traded in for a new code of "rules", but it's weird. It's just weird. For I am a product of society as much as anyone else, so I still find some of those looks trampy. In Victorian times, exposing your ankle was considered obscene. Nowadays, we have our own set of ankles.

 

[softgrey]

..not sure if I think it's sexy.. but 'tramp' isn't the first word that would come to my mind either..

ugly stupid and tacky are words that come to mind......


...

i agree that people with more boyish figures can get away with tighter things and showing a bit more skin....

and i guess that the right hair and make up do make a huge difference as well...

a fake baked tan and any kind of surgical enhancement *ahem* is also a defining factor...imo

but ---
i was just thinking of the OUTFIT here...
can anyone post some examples???...

 

[Melisande]

Well, sorry no examples, but really eccentric touches can take the same outfit from pure "Amsterdam" (lol) to just plain weird. Avant-garde if you're good. May not appeal to all, but it's one way to counter trampheit.

 

[softgrey]

well- i am going to say that leggings of any kind worn as pants rather than as a layering piece- (in other words...with your butt hanging out...)
is straight hoochie...
and beyond that...just unattractive..

 

[uberwench]

I remember reading somewhere that the key to sexiness is suggesting that your clothing could slip off. Not necessarily showing skin, but suggesting the skin beneath as something discoverable.

Abstract, I guess, but it works for me... Something about very easy little dresses, a top which slips off your shoulder casually, the slice of skin between OTK socks and a skirt are basically the things which govern my sexy dressing. Or, at least they did with my ex who only liked subtle sexiness, hated the trampy look.

I definitely think you should not look too high-maintenance. Super straight hair isn't sexy for everyday. Neither is really heavy makeup. Daytime sexiness is about looking like you rolled out of bed after a lazy morning of rampant sex, had breakfast semi-naked in the sunshine and then pulled the first things you could find out of the closet and slipped them on. Although obviously it takes me a lot of hard thought and effort to achieve that breezy effortlessness. I always get the best responses to very worn in -t-shirt dresses and loose white vests. I think it's because you look more touchable in them than in harsher tailoring or complex layers-and-draping.

Clean lines are better than fussy ones... I love the great british high st, but I find that whole mix and match, topshop-meets brick lane look to be soo unsexy because you see the clothes not the person first.

Night time... never show boobs and legs, only one or the other. The key to not looking over the top is to not look like you're wearing a costume... you should look like it's a natural look for yourself, not like you're dressing to be sexy.

 

[Bacata]

Tight top, loose pants, peep toes. Never fails on casual-sexy

 

[Bacata]

It lies in the person, but some outfits will scream hoochie no matter who wears it.

Ditto.

This woman will look trampy in anything.
ima.dada.net
receitabrasil.com
___________________________________

Also, women with the "hot" bod (huge thighs and boobs) have to watch out for too short outfits. Usually those go with skinny women only.

 

[floodette]

i think there's effortness element in sexiness.
trying too hard can push it over the limit.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ That's a very interesting point, floodette.

I'm not certain whether there are outfits or elements that are inescapably 'Amsterdam' Some people (I see this with some models) have such a strong aura of wholesomeness that it seems to overcome whatever they put on.

What I do know for sure is that I know instinctively what's right for me, and what's not. I try to stick with that, and not judge others

 

[designerleather]

^ Part of the above is so true. Clothes a lot of times are an extension of a person. I believe when there is a conflict in the manner of dress and the personality, things sometimes are off.

Going to style extremes when that underlying core at times, the "trying to hard" might translate into coming across as something negative than sexy.

By the same token, dressing overly conservative also can make an element of "frumpiness"

 

[ChrissyM]

i think shoes can really contribute to the sexy equation as well..
and also can easily lead to a misstep and cross the line to trampiness (which i liked in the title by the way )

overtly sexy shoes with an outfit that might not have otherwise screamed "tramp" can definitely put the look over the edge...
and on the flip side sexy shoes can sort of transform a not traditionally sexy outfit and give the wearer a sexy vibe...

over the knee boots can be sexy in just the right way...
especially if they are flat imo because there is less risk of overdoing it...

*and i agree with a lot of you that sexiness can be inherent in someone's attitude and the aura they give off..
and that some women somehow manage to look trampy no matter what they wear

 

[ChrissyM]

trying to find a picture example

i feel like this outfit of giovanna battaglia's has a sort of sexy vibe to it...
in large part because of the YSL shoes...
but i think the long gloves and the slim metallic snakeskin pattern pants also work well and add to the sexiness.. (snakeskin pattern could easily look trashy imo)

but now i'm wondering if it's sexy at all, or am i just thinking it's cool?

garancedore.fr, thesartorialist, lanecrawford.com

 

[brokenenglish]

I think she manages to look sleek and sexy while still staying very covered up.

I don't know how many men would consider it sexy.
Which brings up the issue of what is sexy to men vs women.
For most of the men I know sexy= some skin.
Legs and clevage most overtly but the bare backs and shoulders most men really dig too.

 

[brokenenglish]

i think shoes can really contribute to the sexy equation as well..
and also can easily lead to a misstep and cross the line to trampiness (which i liked in the title by the way )

Wasn't the title sl*tty? Or was it hoochie?
I think they were all mentioned at some point.

 

[ChrissyM]

I think she manages to look sleek and sexy while still staying very covered up.

I don't know how many men would consider it sexy.
Which brings up the issue of what is sexy to men vs women.
For most of the men I know sexy= some skin.
Legs and clevage most overtly but the bare backs and shoulders most men really dig too.

very good point..
i was thinking about that as i was posting the images as well...

i think she looks sexy in a subtle way but who knows what a man would think?

*and i'm pretty sure the word "tramp" was in the title
as in, "how to look sexy without looking like a tramp"... or something to that effect

 

[ChloeFrancoise]

Some of the outfits guys (in general) are more likely to consider sexy though do kind of at least start to cross the line heading into trampyville.

I like her outfit there. The snake skin print doesn't even really bother me much, and I really hate that print usually.

 

[designerleather]

Overall I like the outfit. Think the pants should either have been a little longer or a little shorter. They are sort of in that awkward area.

Pants I also think are a little big on her. Maybe it is just me, but for that style/cut of pants they should be more fitted. To some, that would probably add more of a sl*tty image, but I think how it is paired and all, it would be more sexy.

If she is not going to go a size smaller, she should have them a little more tailored. If you look at the second and image especially, you can see how the leather bunches in the front.

 

[softgrey]

the pants are lurex, not leather...


i have been told by a guy who is close to 40 that when men are younger they are all about the overt (obvious) sexiness...
but as they get older...
it's more about the overall presentation...

ie- a younger (more hormonal) guy might think that outfit is too covered up...
but an older (more mature) guy might think it was sexy and stylish...

 

[b9409]

I truly despise those YSL shoes.

I think it is all about the attitude and color choice. Some of the sexiest cuts will always look better in black and pastels rather than bright pinks and reds. A slightly disheveled hairstyle does make a woman look effortlessly sexy, but also it is about how much you want to reveal.

Many people can look sexy wearing casual clothes, but let's be honest: deep cuts, revealing some skin and tighter or fastened garments around the waist do look sexier than most others. Like I said, high quality fabric and blacks mainly are more forgiving for more revealing clothes.

eg. Carine Roitfeld's choices for instance.

 

[Lovin_It]

I must admit I love the flirt between sexy / trashy sometimes when I am going out. I think to stay on the right side of the fence (as it were) you have to wear decent quality items. A cheap tacky leather skirt could look wrong yet a nice quality one would work well. One of my favourate looks is to match up a fitted cashmere top (again good quality) with a knee lenght pencil leather skirt. Some killer heels and maybe a fur to finish off the look. I get loads of compliments when I wear this style. It's funny but as I describe it, it sounds a bit trashy but (honestly) it really works for me (I think).

Shall we post some looks that we think don't cross the line to see if people agree??

Ok, I think this is pretty tame really but see if you agree?
http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod88150059&eItemId=prod89950065&cmCat=search&searchType=MAIN&parentId=&icid=&rte=%252Fsearch.jhtml%253FNo%253D0%2526Ntt%253Dfur%2526_requestid%253D3313%2526N%253D0%2526pageSize%253D160

Other looks might be this (which again I feel falls the right side of the border)

kaufmanfurs.net