How to look sexy without crossing the line

[dumbfairy]

Hmm to me the last outfit posted is more tramp than sexy.

I certainly agree with Brokenenglish r.e what is sexy for men vs women. Although all I can think about is that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha takes Carrie shopping for sexy clothes for her date with Berger and buys those horrible pink furry shoes I still am yet to understand if anyone finds them sexy.

 

[designerleather]

I definitely like the first outfit more. I was just looking at that earlier in the week off of one of Neiman's sale emails.

 

[b9409]

Curvier women must be a little more careful than skinnier ones, because it is so easy to look like a tramp when you are wearing less and slightly curvier, than a skinny woman who is wearing the exact same look. Especially the low cut cleavage!!!

 

[designerleather]

^ Very interesting observation. One I definitely will be more aware of for sure as I see examples in the upcoming weeks

 

[smartvscruffy]

Totally agree with Pasha, wearing a low cut top emphasises boobs, generally you wear a push up bra and they are spilling out somewhat! With my little 34b's I don't have to wear a bra so I'll wear a white vest etc but I can't imagine a curvy woman doing that and looking good, I think petite equals classy in some way which boils down to less is more. I also don't want to go all feminist but I cannot wear a low cut top with a cleavage because I HATE it when men stare... then it's crossing the line. If your creating a scene a la man drooling/girlfriend giving daggers then it's just too much.

I prefer to show leg, hips and back off. Just hate cleavage ?!

 

[tifa]

^ i don't like showing cleavage either. i'm not huge, about medium with a 32c/d but i hate the 'people are looking down my top' feeling. uncomfortable = not sexy.

 

[dumbfairy]

Smartvscruffy: I think that saying petite equals classy is a little hurtful, perhaps you didn't mean for it to be so in which case my apologies for overreacting . But as someone who is rather blessed up top, it suggests that it petite equals classy than curvy equals trashy. Whilst I can appreciate that it may be easier for big boobs to look overtly sexual, it doesn't necessarily mean that it 'crosses the line', I myself,and I'm sure many others are constantly aware of the fact that our boobs may be 'out there'

 

[Hanne]

Hear hear dumbfairy

You can have boobs.. show cleavage and be sexy without being trampy..

Case in point Monica Bellucci

Even in lingerie in GQ - she doesn't look trampy : #845
Lowcut in a Dior add : #804

"Madame Figaro" July 5, 2008 scanned by abasi


Magazines - OK - June 2008 scanned by abasi


With her daughter

celebutopia.com

 

[smartvscruffy]

Yeh sorry it wasn't meant literally, more in the sense that curvier girls get closer to the line than petite girls. So on the flip-side petite could equal totally un-sexy/looking like a boy because you can't create a massive cleavage hehe. It depends how you define sexy , I think women who don't mean for a large cleavage to be overtly sexual a man would see otherwise on first impressions and conclude that the woman would want the sexual attention?. I used to be a curvy girl but never had a large chest, all I go on is the bad attention it attracts, sort of undesirable. The stereotype that a man will talk to your boobs not your eyes makes me wonder why women would want that?

I don't know though, can women with a large chest wear any clothing without showing cleavage? Is it more depressing to cover up, do you gals with large chests enjoy the men staring or does it annoy you that you can't go out without them doing so! (Especially old men I'll add)

 

[m.j.]

it is all in your head. if u try to hard to look sexy, u will look stupid or tacky. but if u have a certain amount of self esteem,if u think positive about your body and feel good in your own skin, if u walk confident, than you will be sexy no matter what you wear. no one can say what dress or what heels are sexy, cos that would be one man opinion.if u think showing some skin is sexy, go for it.
be confident and do not think too much. confidence and natural= sexy and charming

 

[Hanne]

I don't know though, can women with a large chest wear any clothing without showing cleavage? Is it more depressing to cover up, do you gals with large chests enjoy the men staring or does it annoy you that you can't go out without them doing so! (Especially old men I'll add)

I think it goes without saying that, yes ofcourse a woman with a larger size chest can wear clothing without showing cleavage..it would just be a matter of chosing particular garments and styling..

Why on earth should it be more 'depressing to cover up' ? Just because you have a larger chest doesn't mean you're identity necessarily evolves around them..

..and I think your question "do you gals with large chests enjoy the men staring" is generalizing at best..and rude at worst..

I'm sure large chested women with low selfesteem enjoy it.. just as any women with or without a large chest who are comfortable in their bodies and with themselves have a commanding presence that ensures that most men, above Neanderthal stage.. if they were to look would feel compelled to be discrete about it.

And at any rate.. if you're happy with your body that is all that matters..not wether some guy finds you oggle-worthy or not.

 

[smartvscruffy]

Maybe it's where I live then with regards to men , please Hanne I'm not trying to be rude, I'll keep my big mouth shut!

Just I know big chested women who love to flaunt their cleavage and hate the thought of having to wear tops that cover them up, then i know women who really don't like having a large chest and hate the thought of anyone noticing them.. Then there are women in the middle who prefer their legs or other features but in this world obviously especially in England with page 3 and breast enlargement it seems to be an important topic for women whether they want reductions or enlargements to feel sexier either way. Or whether they want to flaunt or not.

I just wondered on anyone's opinion because I can't have one as I haven't had a larger chest but I'm no way trying to be rude I just wanted to know if it was found to be complimentary or not if they were noticed which they commonly are because a lot of men do love women's breasts..

 

[Hanne]

No worries.. but I think your questions probably would be more fitting in our threads on boobs..

How you want to present yourself incl. your body is all about individuality, your confidence and identity.. the size of your chest is irrelevant.

How your sexual persona is judge depends largely on what you exude ..but there is always the element of the 'glasses' that the viewer wears.. their reference point and their tastes..

 

[dumbfairy]

Smartvscruffy No worries poppet

The irony of all of this is that today I went to work and a guy in my office (Whom I am very close to) suggested that I shouldn't cover my boobs up so often The more I think about it the more I realise in a sense, what he is saying is true, as I shouldn't be ashamed that they are there, and I usually do make sure that they are covered up in one way or another. So tomorrow I'm going to wear them out and proud dammit (Okay maybe not that out ).

I'd be interested to hear what the guys in the forum find sexy on a girl

 

[GasolineRainbow]

I'd be interested to hear what the guys in the forum find sexy on a girl

Sorry to disappoint, Dumbfairy. *Quotes Eowyn* "I am no man."

This discussion about cleavage is so interesting, because it's a very strong indicator of how our ideas of sexy vs. trashy are shaped by the current fashion climate. I noted on Julia Restoin Roitfeld's thread that there is a very strong focus on legs right now, whether that is through itty-bitty shorts/miniskirts or skintight jeans/leggings. I mean, you'll see the holiest of fashionistas baring practically the entire leg, and no one will bat an eyelash. Whereas showing cleavage is considered kind of trashy by the fashionably minded. Not to mention that tight tops are passe at the moment, it's all about looseness (no pun intended). It's the total opposite of sexy vs. trampy in the 1950's, to name another decade.

Now, I am not stating that one is sexier or trashier than the other, it just shows how our standards are constantly shifting. And I think it has to do with the coveted body at the moment, which is kind of long and lean. When you're tall and slender, your legs are probably going to be your sexiest feature, of course you'll want to show them off. Your chest might not be as ample, and all these trendy boyfriend blazers (often worn with supershort/tight bottoms) almost negate the chest, don't you think? I may be off-base, but I don't believe that trendy silhouettes are ever random. And our perceptions of sexy dressing will change, of course. Maybe go back to cleavage, or maybe something entirely new.

 

[smartvscruffy]

Thank-you so much Gasoline Rainbow, this is what I was trying to talk about/ask

I wasn't as articulated as you and maybe too casual on the subject xxx

 

[designerleather]

I have always been a leg-man so to speak, but will agree with Gasoline Rainbow that the ultra-micro minis are often glossed over while the least bit of cleavage causes a stir.

I will reassert the personality and style has a lot to do with it, and that what looks sexy on one person, looks trashy on another, and as one posted had pointed out earlier, Chloe? it is the person underneath. I will not name names, but I can think of a couple of models who became trashier in their later years, and they could make even the frumpiest of clothes look trashy.

But as a whole, there seems to be some consensus that it is better to showcase one part of the body and not multiple as a general starting place.

 

[fashionista-ta]

I truly despise those YSL shoes.

I think it is all about the attitude and color choice. Some of the sexiest cuts will always look better in black and pastels rather than bright pinks and reds. A slightly disheveled hairstyle does make a woman look effortlessly sexy, but also it is about how much you want to reveal.

Many people can look sexy wearing casual clothes, but let's be honest: deep cuts, revealing some skin and tighter or fastened garments around the waist do look sexier than most others. Like I said, high quality fabric and blacks mainly are more forgiving for more revealing clothes.

eg. Carine Roitfeld's choices for instance.

I looove those YSL shoes, and would love to have them myself, but fear they would have limited usefulness (i.e., I don't think I could wear them to work). Based on my other shoes, I think these would get a lot of attention where I live.

I hope most men would be able to see the sexiness in her outfit ... but personally I don't see what good a man is who can't appreciate subtlety

 

[fashionista-ta]

Yeh sorry it wasn't meant literally, more in the sense that curvier girls get closer to the line than petite girls. So on the flip-side petite could equal totally un-sexy/looking like a boy because you can't create a massive cleavage hehe. It depends how you define sexy , I think women who don't mean for a large cleavage to be overtly sexual a man would see otherwise on first impressions and conclude that the woman would want the sexual attention?. I used to be a curvy girl but never had a large chest, all I go on is the bad attention it attracts, sort of undesirable. The stereotype that a man will talk to your boobs not your eyes makes me wonder why women would want that?

I don't know though, can women with a large chest wear any clothing without showing cleavage? Is it more depressing to cover up, do you gals with large chests enjoy the men staring or does it annoy you that you can't go out without them doing so! (Especially old men I'll add)

It is a stereotype ... I find that the vast majority of men don't do that. And it's true ... you just about have to wear a crew neck to avoid showing any cleavage ever.

The line for me is the point where I do feel uncomfortable ... I have a top that is low cut + has a sheer panel with applique work in front. The dirty old man next door (literally ) looked down the front of it once, at which moment I decided that never again would I wear it except either as a layering piece where the front is concealed, or just with my SO or with people I know where I'm sure someone nasty isn't going to be checking me out

Most men have a subtler technique that doesn't leave you making resolutions ...

 

[bird_that_flew]

This is a little off-topic (since you all seem to be talking about boobs right now ), but what are everyone's thoughts on midriff baring? Sexy or trashy? Obviously it's going to depend on how much or what part of the stomach is showing (or if you have the body for it), but I think in some cases it can be really sexy in a good way. What does everybody else think?