Justin Bieber

[Kenysha75]

October 5th 2010 We're All Getting Punk'd

MTV is pulling Punk'd out of its trucker hat-shaped coffin and is trying to give it life again using a drop of mystical oil from Justin Bieber's golden follicle of eternal of miracles. Vulture reports that MTV is summoning a swarm of locusts by rebooting Punk'd with The Lesbeaver as the show's new host. Please tell me this is just Ashton Kutcher's evil way of getting all of us to admit that we miss him on TV. UNCLE!!!!!

Sources say that Ashton will stay on as executive producer, but will leave the on-camera shi* to Justin. Justin hasn't signed on the dotted line just yet, because unfortunately he hasn't learned how to sign his name yet. No, apparently the deal will become official any day now.

This is definitely going to end with somebody in jail. Imagine you're staring at a pile of hot caca (it's actually mashed Big Macs patties) on the seat of your Maserati and the valet (aka a day player) is apologizing over and over again for accidentally sharting in your car. And as the rage travels to your punchin' hand and you start to make a first, Justin Bieber pops out and screams, "BOOM! BAM! You've just been Punk'd!" So you're already making a fist and there's Justin Bieber's face right in front of you.

Yeah, MTV should really rename the show Punch'd!
dlisted

 

[Kenysha75]

October 11th 2010 Coming Soon: Bieber On Your Nails

When Justin Bieber runs his fingers through his ethereal upside down hair bowl, his nails get covered in a sparkly syrup that regularly secretes out of his skull pores. Sparkly syrup that is usually found on the tip of a unicorn's peen. Because The Lesbeaver cares about his fans so much (and because the evilings controlling his strings care about money so much), he has decided to share his glittery pore sweat with the world in nail polish form. Justin and the brand Nicole have joined forces for a collection of nail paints based on his songs. Styleite reports that Justin's nail polish will be sold exclusively at the emporium of elegance and luxury named Walmart.

Hearing one of Justin's songs makes me want to boil nail polish remover before pouring it into my ear holes, so this does make sense. This is also good for us non Beliebers, because now we will clearly see the mark of the beast on those who have already crossed over to the Bieber side.

And just so you know, any negative comments you make about The Lesbeaver will be deleted in 14 days. It's for your own good, because this Belieber will backtrace you and consequences will never be the same! Don't let the fact that he is most likely is going to get black and orange Halloween bands for his braces NOT SCARE YOU. He knows hackers in Europe and very important FCC executives!


And he's totally been sniffing Justin Bieber's nail polish and it isn't even out yet. He really does have connections.
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[NakedIfIWantTo]

^OMG is that for real?

 

[Kenysha75]

Yup that's for real

 

[Kenysha75]

Justin Bieber Spits Rhymes Like Enfamil

Justin Bieber has birthed out an alter ego he's calling "Shawty Mane" ("Shawty Mane" might also be Kanye's nickname for his taint bush, so somebody should fact check that) for his new career in rap! Even though a newborn wearing glasses never fails to entertain and Shawty Mane singes the tips of Tom Brady's copycat Bieber bowl, I cannot with this right now.

Isn't there some kind of kindergarten version of the East Coast/West Coast feud we can throw Shawty Mane into? P-Nut, Astro Kid and Mini Daddy better pick a side of the playground wisely!
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[NakedIfIWantTo]

^lol okay gotta admit he is still cute.

 

[Kenysha75]

Shawty Mane Will Bust A Cap In Yo Pampers

Justin Bieber isn't old enough to operate a water gun (check the age recommendation on the box if you don't believe me) and he's as threatening as a Maisy Mouse stuffed animal, but that hasn't stopped him from already choosing the gangsta way of life. You better get on your side of the playground or Shawty Mane is going to fuc* you up when the recess warden isn't looking! You don't want to end up with a SpongeBob Squarepants Band-Aid over your knees after the Bieb finishes swinging. Or you can just bend down a little bit and put your palm on his forehead so his tiny fists won't you hit. Yeah, do that.

CBC News brings us this hilarious report out of Richmond, B.C. about 16-year-old Justin Bieber and his posse getting kicked out of a laser tag center after he allegedly smacked a 12-year-old during a game. Toddler on toddler violence is never okay, but this is just HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The owner of the laser tag center said they put The Lesbeaver and his bodyguards out on curb after the 12-year-old complained.

The Richmond police department's fetus crime unit is investigating this mess, but Justin's spokeswhore denies it went down like this. Shawty Mane is still at large so you better stay in your playpens until further notice.

We all know that Justin is the true reincarnation of Biggie Smalls, but he would never ever hit a 12-year-old. The real story is that Shawty Mane ordered his bodyguards to hold the 12-year-old down while he tickled the boy until the poor thing made a tinkle in his Underdoos. That's how Shawty Mane does it! "Every time you see that pee pee stain, you're going to be reminded about the time you effed with Shawty Mane!" - Shawty Mane
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[Kenysha75]

Justin Bieber Is Just Naturally Beautiful

When this cover of Justin Bieber on Brazilian tween magazine Todateen Star made the rounds, many accused them of abusing every tool in Photoshop to turn him into the new face of Maybelline's baby collection. But a rep for Todateen says that there is no "maybe" in "maybe she's born with it" when it comes to Justin Bieber. Todateen told HuffPo that they didn't use any Photoshoppery to make Justin's eyes look like that of a bunny's:

We could not help noticing your comments and tweets from the picture of Justin on the cover of Star Todateen. We would like to say that there was no change made in the area of the singer's eyes. We had a technical problem that darkens certain areas of the photo. We also want to say that all of us find Justin very naturally beautiful. We'd never think it's necessary to alter pictures of him. Natural beauty says it all, right?

But what is the reason for why Justin's rose-lined lips remind me of my mom's faded lipstick after she drinks 3 glasses of white wine and forgets to reapply? No, I should not question his organic prettiness. This confirms that Justin naturally looks like a Barbie Head styled by Rojo Caliente. That Justin, she's born with it!
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[Lonette]

That cover is a tragedy

 

[Kenysha75]

When The Biebs Gotta Go, The Biebs Gotta Go

The pap who took these pictures of Justin Bieber running out of The Grove says he had to go Tinkle Tinkle Little Star in a major way and that's why he's doing the pinch. Well, we now know that The Bieb is potty trained. Yeah, you're welcome for that.

And I have to say that I approve of Shawty Mane's hipster baby glasses. But that's just because next to Daphne, Velma Dinkley is my favorite member of the Scooby Doo crew. Zoinks indeed!
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[Mirik]

Justin Bieber in Popme Magazine Septiembre 2010

ebook30

 

[Kenysha75]

#PrayforSamuel

Justin Bieber's army of Beliebers made #PrayforSamuel a trending topic on Twitter yesterday after their leader's appearance on the German TV show Wetten, Dass? was canceled due to a stunt gone tragically wrong. 23-year-old student Samuel Koch was supposed to jump over an Audi driven by his father and bask in the audiences' applause. Unfortunately, it didn't go down like that. Samuel landed directly on his face and stopped moving. If this happened in America, they would've replayed it in slow motion a million times with narrations, but the producers of Wetten, Dass? immediately canceled the show.

The Telegraph reports that Samuel was rushed to the University Clinic in Düsseldorf where he underwent emergency surgery. The doctor treating Samuel told reporters that Samuel's spinal cord was damaged and he suffered injuries to his neck vertebrae. They said that his injuries aren't fatal, but he is showing signs of paralysis. Apparently, Samuel is talking, but he's still listed in critical condition today.
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[Kenysha75]

And This Is How You Answer A Question

But in The Lesbeaver's defense, if that Blink-182 dude asked Ozzy Osbourne if he watches Sharon Osbourne's show The Talk, he'd probably answer with: "Who the **** is Sharon Osoburne?!"
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[Kenysha75]

Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Go For A Walk....

Even though the threat of getting attacked by a jealous mob of rattle-wielding Beliebers is in the airs, Selena Gomez strolled without a damn care in the world with the most famous toddler in the world in Miami today. If you checked both of their IDs, hers would say that she's 18, and Justin Bieber's would say that he's 16. CRADLE ROBBER! Chris Hansen better parachute in and put a stop to this foolery.

No, there's no need for the Beliebers to grapple over their playpens and sneak past the weekend nanny to attack Selena. Nothing is going on here. Selena is just consoling Justin and telling him to not to beat himself up over not being able to sink all the battleships (aka floating Cheerios) during potty training. That's it! shi* is platonic.
Dlisted

 

[Kenysha75]

Willow Smith: European Tour Invite from Justin Bieber!

Willow Smith has exciting news - she’s been invited to tour with Justin Bieber when he heads to Europe next year!

“Got news that my big bro @justinbieber invited me on his European Tour in March..so exciting!” Willow tweeted earlier today. “Maybe I’ll let Jaden come..LOL #NEVERSAYNEVER”

Yesterday, it was announced that Willow will be whipping her hair at Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve at the end of this month.

Congrats, Willow!!


justjared

 

[Kenysha75]

Justin Bieber: Z100 Jingle Ball 2010 Red Carpet

Justin Bieber hits the red carpet at Z100 Jingle Ball 2010, held at Madison Square Garden on Friday (December 10) in New York City.

The 16-year-old singer is performing at tonight’s star studded concert, where JustJared.com is backstage at the show!

“LEGGO!! we are in NYC for the @Z100NewYork Jingleball. Gonna be tight. Back in the Garden!” Justin tweeted earlier tonight.

Last night, Justin was named one of Barbara Walters‘ 10 Most Fascinating People of the Year!



justjared.

 

[Kenysha75]

Johnny Depp Contracts Bieber Fever

Who knew Johnny Depp was a Justin Bieber fan?

The 47-year-old actor snapped a shot with singer Avery backstage at the Biebs‘ show on Saturday (December 18) in Miami, Fla.

“Johnny Depp wants to hear ‘Baby,’” Justin said while on stage before performing his hit song. Ha!

Last night, Justin was spotted hanging out on his tour bus with Selena Gomez last night in Miami.

The two have been looking friendly lately, but Selena insists they’re just friends!


justjared.

 

[Kenysha75]

Justin Bieber & Rascal Flatts Duet!

Justin Bieber has R&B and pop music covered, but he’s teaming up with Rascal Flatts on a country track for his next record!

“[Justin] asked us to do a duet with him on his next record,” Rascal Flatts singer Gary LeVox shared with Nashville radio station WSIX. “It’s actually a really good song!”

“I love @RascalFlatts and I’m honored that they are making music with me,” Justin tweeted.

Other rumored collaborators on Justinjustin-bieber-rascal-flatts’s new record include Diddy and Ne-Yo!


justjared.

 

[versustito]

Seventeen Chile January 2011

seventeen.taconeras.net

 

[Carrme]

Not only does Justin have great style, but he is so well composed and spoken. My show Out There interviewed him in Toronto. Our host Melissa DiMarco (Degrassi) had a great time with him and even got a kiss from his great grandma!
Here's a link http://bit.ly/h3YBOM
www.youtube.com/outtherewithmelissa