5/11/06 - Lindsay Lohan lifts the lid on her dark demons
HOLLYWOOD rebel Lindsay Lohan today lifts the lid on the dark demons that have haunted her tempestuous young life — and so nearly destroyed her.
The freckle-faced beauty — notorious for her wild partying and bed hopping — talks as never before to the News of the World about drugs, men and her battle with deadly eating disorders.
"I feel like I've lived five lifetimes and I am only 20," she says in one of the most searingly frank interviews ever given by a Hollywood A-lister.
"You have to hit rock bottom sometimes to get yourself back to the top."
Just My Luck and Mean Girls star Lindsay also reveals all about the night she thought she was going to die after years of punishing her frail body.
"I lay there screaming, throwing things, because the pains were so intense in my head and my liver. In the end I didn't even have the strength to take a shower," says the actress and pop singer.
"It was terrifying. But going through s*** makes me that much stronger."
One of Lindsay's biggest screen hits was Herbie Reloaded — and she's certainly lived life in the fast lane with almost as many crashes as the famous VW.
But the worst pile-up was her collision with anorexia and bulimia— fuelled by a partying lifestyle which left her in hospital time after time as her body struggled to cope with the stress of her rapid rise to fame.
Lindsay's most recent hospitalisation came in July this year while shooting her latest film Georgia Rule.
Speaking of her illness, she bravely admits: "I was making myself sick. Sometimes being that thin doesn't look healthy. I kind of didn't realise that.
"One time when someone asked me if I was OK I just started bawling. I knew I had a problem and just could not admit it.
"My arms were disgusting. I had no arms. I had people sit me down and say, ‘You're going to die if you don't take care of yourself'."
She admits to using drugs "a little" as she tried to escape the depression of anorexia. "I've tried pot. I hated it," she says.
Etched in her memory is the most chilling night of her life in 2004 when she was just 18.
She was at the house of her then boyfriend, 26-year-old actor Wilmer Valderrama. "I felt so sick. I lay down on the bed and started getting these shooting pains. I was screaming, throwing things, because the pains were so intense in my head," says Lindsay.
"I ended up in hospital. My liver was swollen and I had a kidney infection and my white blood cells were accelerated. I was really, really white, like a ghost, and my legs were so numb from not walking. My body did not have enough strength to take a shower."
Two years on, Lindsay is slowly beginning to rebuild her body and her life. Although still very thin, she has gained some weight and remains optimistic about her future
"I feel great about my body now," she says. "When I was in hospital I was overworked and stressed out and that's when they started talking about my weight.
Now I am comfortable in my own skin and I like having a shape and having breasts the size they are."
But while she has had a difficult relationship with food, there has never been anything wrong with Lindsay's sexual appetite.
The wild child has had a string of dalliances with celebs like John Lennon's son Sean, Bruce Willis, Leonardo DiCaprio, Colin Farrell, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Jared Leto and Joaquin Phoenix.
She confesses: "Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person.
"It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship.
"I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet."
Most recently seen out on the town with American millionaire restaurateur Harry Morton, 25, Lindsay admits: "I have only been in love once and that was with Wilmer.
"But the timing was bad. And there were all these girls around. He would flirt and I couldn't handle that. I couldn't trust him.
"My mum's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people—but if I'm going to give my body to someone, I'd rather them not be with other people. It's very old-fashioned.
"The guys I am really attracted to now don't drink, don't smoke and don't do anything else."
For now her career comes first. New movie Georgia Rule will be followed by Oscar Wilde's A Woman Of No Importance—and her second solo pop album is due out at the end of the year.
"I don't want any distractions so I'm not ready to settle down with anyone yet," she says. "I feel blessed just to be where I am right now."
Source - (has an exclusive video of her singing karoke or something)
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/showbiz/showbiz2.shtml