What makes a person captivating?

[demimondaine]

bump!

 

[merlot]

I think it has a lot to do with inner confidence. People who are captivating carry themselves well, they have good posture, and they comfortable with themselves. I think being comfortable means that you can look a bit different, but you don't have to.

exactly! You can read someone so easily by how they feel about themself. So often I think, "I can't pull that off". But I bet I could if I felt more comfortable about myself.

 

[shirleebee]

When they completely recontextualize time & space with their presence.

I'm serious! Suddenly, the moment - and the whole world - is theirs & you're just witnessing it.

 

[educo]

When they completely recontextualize time & space with their presence.

I'm serious! Suddenly, the moment - and the whole world - is theirs & you're just witnessing it.

I absolutely agree with you! It's like seeing a person alone at a crowded party and watching how the world revolves around them and they have done NOTHING but stand there. That is total and complete swagger.

 

[chanelnumber5]

I think that distance, or a certain sense of mystery makes a person captivating. It makes you want to know more about them, break through the outer walls so to speak.

But I think there has to be some fire behind it, and that's where a person's eyes come in, they let you know if there's something beyond the exterior.

Definately about the mystery or distance - its intriguing, although can also be frustrating at times! And I also agree about the eyes, "windows to the soul" is a cliche, but its a true one. Self confidence is also key, as this effects posture which is very important. When I say self confidence, I don't mean cockeyness (sp?), but rather being comfortable enough in their own skin and to not see other people as a threat to be "brought down".

 

[gius]

Definately about the mystery or distance - its intriguing, although can also be frustrating at times! And I also agree about the eyes, "windows to the soul" is a cliche, but its a true one. Self confidence is also key, as this effects posture which is very important. When I say self confidence, I don't mean cockeyness (sp?), but rather being comfortable enough in their own skin and to not see other people as a threat to be "brought down".

i kind of find more of an appeal in vulnerability than confidence

 

[fashionista-ta]

Definately about the mystery or distance - its intriguing, although can also be frustrating at times! And I also agree about the eyes, "windows to the soul" is a cliche, but its a true one. Self confidence is also key, as this effects posture which is very important. When I say self confidence, I don't mean cockeyness (sp?), but rather being comfortable enough in their own skin and to not see other people as a threat to be "brought down".

I agree with your definition of confidence, and that's important to me too ... basically you're talking about a baseline of maturity. Life is too short to deal with people who don't have it, unless you absolutely must ...

But I do know people who have this + bad posture

 

[Charponnaise]

I think sometimes it has to do with a kind of 'purity' - some quality in them whereby they haven't been tainted by the world around them. People like Audrey Hepburn had this, and to a lesser extent, Grace Kelly..... I think right now Natalia Vodyanova has it too. They seem cleaner than everyone else.... at once simpler and more sophisticated. You know that if you wiped every last trace of make up off their faces, the same quality would shine out, even if they had an enormous zit right on the end of their noses. I went to college with a girl like that once. Even with an enormous zit on the end of her nose, she still had that elegant purity about her.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ This is definitely what I need to aim for as I'm sure with my luck it will happen to me again

Lately I have been wondering if the most captivating models aren't old souls, and that's why we can't stop looking into their eyes ...

Gemma Ward is another good example of what you're talking about.

 

[Charponnaise]

Yep... while I think Jessica Stam is exactly the opposite, she's beautiful but there is something kinda... decadent in the most literal sense about her beauty.

 

[CollarScholar]

Captivation = Confidence without cockiness

For me its mostly the eyes and the smile, but more so the eyes. Windows to the soul, they say... and its true. Sometimes you can just tell by the way people look at you, or even look at someone else, that they have a passionate soul. So many people walk around with such blank faces or gazes everyday that when someone actually walks along with a fire in their eyes, people notice.

Its too bad more people dont have that fire!

 

[BonjourTristesse]

Any more thoughts? :-)

 

[silk skin paws]

To me a captivating person stands out from the rest of the crowd yet without an overbearing or forceful presence. It's without pretense or self-important arrogance. A captivating person typically grabs my attention and tend to be very striking physically and in personality. If I see a person like this walking down the street or across the room I'm compelled to look again and intrigue is the added bonus quality.

 

[tuetre]

People who live in the present moment. Most people are so distracted and rushed that they aren't really devoted to what is going on in front of them. I think that when people are completely "present" and living in the moment, completely focused on what is happening in that second, they automatically appear interesting.

^ that's a good point, I've never thought of that, but it's true. Confidence is a big plus, also body language is really important, it conveys a lot that can't be expressed in words. Personality is the common theme here, I'd have to say. Also a certain amount of distance or restraint, and a general air of the whole image being effortless and not a product of careful, calculated decisions.

 

[Eurasian Mélange]

I've only met two women in my life who were truly captivating. One certainly had it more than the other. If I were asked to explain it off the top of my head, I would have definitely said it was their 'aura', but since I'm not allowed to say that, I'll try to explain it another way!

Both these women appeared to be stunningly beautiful when you were in their presence, but if you were to see their photos you would just see an average woman. Neither of them dressed particularly fashionably or stylishly. Neither of them were pros at using make-up, hair styles and a concoction of perfume to draw people's gaze. They were definitely confident, but also down-to-earth. Happy and energetic, yet calm and relaxed. Warm and caring, yet very care-free. Innocent, but wise. The way they moved was not particularly special, but for some reason it seemed as every little thing had an intent and purpose, yet was executed in a cool and collected manner. It had importance, but no matter how important it was, it was done in a such a way that it seemed natural and easy. They gave off an impression of being entirely absorbed in their own world and yet you would get the feeling our world was their oyster. This little world they were in had an energy that drew everyone's eyes to them, to stare in amazement. All the women wanted to be their friends and all the men wanted to be their boyfriends. No matter how many reasons there were to envy them, it appeared impossible to feel anything negative towards them. It's as if they have achieved perfect balance for themselves and that this is the result.

 

[TommyGirl]

^ I know excatly what you mean. I´ve met few people like this, and they are not the most obviously beautiful, stylish or intelligent ones. They are just perfect combination of all good qualities, plus self-confidence to bring those qualities up. Warm personality plays definitely a big role here, it shines through and since you think someone is warm and nice, the more attractive she/he seems.

 

[CollarScholar]

^ I know excatly what you mean. I´ve met few people like this, and they are not the most obviously beautiful, stylish or intelligent ones. They are just perfect combination of all good qualities, plus self-confidence to bring those qualities up. Warm personality plays definitely a big role here, it shines through and since you think someone is warm and nice, the more attractive she/he seems.

A warming smile can be very captivatiing itself... that smile that makes you feel safe and loved, unlike many who smile and you can tell its practiced and almost, if not completely, forced. Take Cameron Diaz for example... she's pretty, but not drop dead gorgeous. But her smile, her genuinely warm personality, shines through, and just makes her glow. People cant resist that. There's just something about Mary...

 

[Lapin de Lune]

With regards to celebrities, I feel that 'style and grace' couldn't truly account for their popularity if we are talking L Lohan, for instance. Hype, perhaps, or notoriety?

And I wondered about the popularity of Alexa Chung: I know very little about her, so don't have a personal opinion, but I notice her thread is extremely busy. Many people complain about her lack of personality (or annoyance factor) yet this doesn't appear to detract from her 'appeal'.

Style very often features over substance.
Does substance ever win out in this case?
Interesting thread!

 

[William_St_Girl]

For me it's def all about self confidence... I have a friend who just captivates everyone... particularly the men... and she doesn't try to in a show off way at all... but at the same time she is one of those women who is naturally beautiful but not stunning... its the way she holds herself... she is always comfortable in any situation... I think a huge quality is that she is truely happy with herself and who she is... she has attitude without being rude... she does not stand for any nonsense off people... she expects people to do what they are there to do... and in some way that for me is captivating... when she tells a storry she makes it interesting as you want to know what happens next... she can make a trip to tesco or an evening in with her mother in law interesting... it's odd but I find her captivating...

I find many men captivating for other reasons too... but one thing that is common with all of them I like is that they have to have attitude... but not be up themselves or cockey at the same time! People with hangups about themselves are never going to be captivating in my mind...

Its one of these questions though the more you think the more you can ramble... maybe we should try to summarise in 5 phrases...

For me its...

1. Self Confidence
2. Get what they want attitude (without walking over others in a nasty way to do it)
3. Great conversationalist.
4. Natural Beauty without too much effort
5. Always being sharp dressed and not sloppy/ too casually dressed in public

 

[Jenna-maria]

very few people are actually captivating.
it has nothing to do with the style.
i have met like billion people with great style but zero personality and it is personality that makes people captivating.