Chris Brown arrested and sentenced for domestic violence

[Kimkhuu]

The Cycle of Violence, according to many psychological studies:

Most of the time, abuse doesn’t occur continually, but rather in a cycle. The cycle of violence is made up of three phases:

Tension Build-up Phase

• Tension builds gradually beginning with verbal abuse; name-calling, insults and accusations. Minor battering incidents occur.
• As the tension builds, the victim tries to calm the abuser and anticipate the abuser’s every need.
• The tension between the two becomes unbearable…like “walking on egg shells”.

Explosion Phase
This phase is shorter than the others, usually lasting from two to 48 hours. There is no escape once the battering has begun – only the abuser can end the incident.

• The tension that builds up leads to severe verbal abuse, violent physical or sexual attack.
• The violence is usually triggered by an outside event that causes the abuser stress (e.g. problems at work, a flat tire, etc.)
• The victim will often deny the seriousness of the injuries to soothe the abuser, and to be assured that the violence is over.

Remorse / Honeymoon Phase

• After the attack takes place, there is a return to some sense of calmness. The abuser may promise it will never happen again, act apologetic and loving and beg for forgiveness.
• Since their relationship has been deteriorating, the abuser’s loving behaviour is very important to the victim. It reinforces the victim’s hope that the abuser can change.
• Guilt also plays a role. The victim feels responsible for her abuser’s behaviour and the abuser’s future welfare. For example, she may feel that if she leaves, she’ll be breaking up the home.

It doesn’t get better – it only gets worse.
The cycle cannot be broken without outside help.


The cycle can cover a long or short period of time. Often, as the pattern continues, the honeymoon phases get shorter and the violence increases. The assaults can also become more serious.


Often, a victim caught up in this cycle becomes isolated from family and friends. The victim is either ashamed to see them, or the abuser tells her not to communicate with them. In this way, the victim becomes more dependent on the abuser, and has few or no other people to help.


http://www.dvsacc.com/dv/vc.html

Very helpful in understanding what went on.

 

[smartarse]

just heard the TMZ photo of Rihanna was not a police photo but it was takened possibly that night where the assault took place.
checking the photo again the background is black, usually a police photo as well as a mug shot always have a white background. hmmm ...

nollafyzzil, according to police report, this isn't the first time.

 

[cuiviénen]

That disconnected, defeated expression in that mortifying picture is truly heartbreaking. This type of abuse should never go unpenalised, and I sincerely hope that Rihanna fully recovers from what will prove to be a very challenging time in her life.

 

[eternitygoddess]

Rihanna always seemed like a strong female who could whup anyone's @ss...

It's very sad if this has been going for a while. Hope this incident makes her break the cycle.

 

[Mchunu]

idk if this is true or not, but here's something on youtube about the incident:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZMzdbkSs2g&feature=related

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ Just wanted to mention a couple of things re the above information about the cycle of abuse ... I have read that a relationship with an abusive person is similar to a drug addiction, with the high corresponding to the "honeymoon/remorse" phase that gets shorter and less pleasant as time goes on.

I'm not sure it's accurate to say that "there is no escape" and "the cycle cannot be broken with outside help." I think there are exceptions to both, but this would probably be the norm.

You can tell someone is abusive without his ever becoming physically violent. You need to break it off when the guy is being a jerk, without waiting for anything else to happen.

I always suspect when women are in abusive relationships that they come from an abusive family background. It doesn't have to have been the father, it could have been the mother, and it doesn't have to have been physical abuse. Abuse is abuse.

So if you know you have an unhealthy family background (which is not your fault & nothing to be ashamed of), it's a really good idea to take steps on your own to break that cycle, before you continue it in the relationships you form as a young adult. The cycle usually starts in childhood.

 

[olga.]

well, actually i am a huge fan of the duet. i've been to several rihanna concerts when they performed umbrella/cinderella remix.. and i am in a state of total shock since these pictures of rihanna came up.. firstly i couldnt believe the rumors and so on.. but after these pics, its hard to stay away from the case.

its such a shame. i love their live performances and it looked like sth genuine is goin' on between these two..
just some youtube videos of them;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AqMBP1z90k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VeQqGFc3Uw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_Mey7NofAw

sorry. i just loved them together. they were the cuttest couple IMHO. they seemed so caring and thoughtful towards each other..

blogspot.com

 

[nollafyzzil]

This is so sad, I loved them too, they were so sweet, or so it seemed.
On E! Weekend it basically said the same thing as that video; that she saw a message and flipped. It also said that she hit him first.

 

[Kimkhuu]

This is so sad, I loved them too, they were so sweet, or so it seemed.
On E! Weekend it basically said the same thing as that video; that she saw a message and flipped. It also said that she hit him first.

Physically speaking a man is many times stronger than a woman. If she hit him first, and he acted in "self defense", then is "defense" is somewhat disproportionate.

It's funny how people will always find a way to justify domestic violence.

 

[saucer-like]

Even if Rihanna is a physically strong person, I really don't think she'd be able to fend off a guy who is twice her size and strength. I'm not actually knowledgable about self-defense techniques and I'm not going to assume that she knows any. It's not an evenly matched fight, especially if he began by choking her (but that last bit is speculation on my part).

 

[smartarse]

IF indeed Rihanna did hit chris first, obviously, it was more like a tap. Because if she had a boxing match with him, his people would be plastering his "bruised body" by now and the police will be booking Rihanna for a 50k bail.

Did we see that? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

[LegsXI]

The thing that makes me sick is that on chris brown's myspace page people are saying oh I still stand by you and you can make it through this

 

[Uchina]

All of the victim blaming here and in the media is just horrifying. There's only one person to blame here and it's the perp. There's never a reason to hit your girlfriend. Ever.
"She hit him first!" Were you there? Even if she did, it looks like he did a number on her back. Several times.
"She seems like a b*tch anyways." You don't know her. Why didn't he just leave? Did he have to teach her a lesson?
"You know how those Black/Caribbean women are. Divas." Right. So giving her a uppercut/right cross combo was going to fix her attitude? Oh, my bad! I forgot that misogyny and racism always trumps logic.
"They looked like such a nice couple!" Speaking from experience, abusers are great actors. Perfect. Freaking. Gentlemen. They open doors, they make polite conversation with your mom, they go to your church. Don't trust anything they say, until they say, "I will kill you."

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ Your post reminded me that the only boyfriend of my sister's she ever had a problem with, was the same as the only one my mother ever liked

My puppy just accidentally gave me a fat lip, which reminded me to come back to this thread ...

What no one who mentions the rumored slap refers to, is that also per the rumors, she had just discovered credible evidence of infidelity. If all of that is the case, she would not be the first nor the last woman to slap a man under those circumstances. While it may not be smart or what I would do under the circumstances ...

I just wanted to mention what is an appropriate response to violence from someone who is not your physical equal. For example, I remember not too long after I got one of my dogs (a rescue, she came with an attitude ), I accidently rolled over on her foot. She weighed about 30 lbs at the time. She reared back her little leg & kicked me as hard as she could in the ribs. I thought it was hilarious & burst out laughing It was the one and only time she ever did anything like that.

I'm the oldest in my family and about 99% of the time our babysitter was me. When my parents left, my sister would usually come out swinging. It was annoying to say the very least, but I would pin her down or hold her wrists till she calmed down.

That is pretty much what a normal reaction looks like.

In this case, not only do you have a huge amount of anger, but also a belief that it's OK to express that anger violently and to do so against women. Additionally there seems to be a huge sense of entitlement to continue on that way ("Protect me, I'm your homeboy").

 

[Stylephox]

^ Tell me about it! (the sibling part) My younger sister is the same height as me (but much younger in age, I'm short!) and a total tomboy. When she comes swinging at me with a toy sword or whatever I can defend myself without beating her up.

I frequent another message board with more under 20s and it's really disturbing how some teens are still saying they "need more info" to judge. I mean what could POSSIBLY be revealed to justify what Chris did?

 

[Marchessa]

I frequent another message board with more under 20s and it's really disturbing how some teens are still saying they "need more info" to judge. I mean what could POSSIBLY be revealed to justify what Chris did?

I was reading the similar comments from grown women on tpf. I think I'll stick to this site.

 

[.Passi0nx]

Honestly (and unfortunately) I really don't think this is going to effect his career as much as we all wish it would.
I read online just the other day, Keenan from SNL saying something about how they would still probably have Chris on the show if he produced another hit. Blah blah blah, and something about how they would do it for the ratings. I'll try to find the article if I can (unless it's already been posted in here)
And we all know, he still has diehard fans that will stand by him despite the outcome of the situation.

 

[fashionista-ta]

Apropos of nothing, karmic consequences occur in about the next 5 years ... they may or may not have anything to do with his career & we may or may not know about them, but I am confident that Chris doesn't have a get-out-of-karma free pass, because they don't exist

 

[inhirnamy137]

Rapper .50 will no longer make fun of the Chris/Rihanna situation after seeing pic of Rihanna

(mtv.com)

I thought that was something you could use for humor, like any other comedian would utilize current events to put into their actual [presentation], being humorous a little bit," 50 explained while promoting his new video game, "50 Cent: Blood on the Sand," which hit stores Tuesday. "I put [reference to the incident] in a 'Pimpin' Curly' skit a little bit. From the perspective of the character, I mentioned it."
50 says those comedic references were made prior to TMZ posting a photograph of a badly beaten Rihanna. He immediately changed his mind about making light of the situation.
"After I saw the photograph, that wasn't funny anymore," 50 said. "I didn't have any information on it. You're just going on what the public actually had. It shifts the whole thing. Even if you're saying you're in a dysfunctional relationship, I understand that. There's a point when you're already past a woman fighting you back. You look at [the picture], and it's obviously past that point. There's some issues there that definitely gotta be addressed. Not to take any shots at Chris or Rihanna or take sides in any way, [but] it's really not cool. It's not funny anymore, so there will definitely be no more reference to that from me in any way."

 

[ponytrot]

well..

urgh. damn right it's not funny to make light of domestic abuse