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What is your chat-up line that always works?
Depends on the hour and the place. But something honest and straight-up is more interesting than beating around the bush. There’s nothing wrong with saying “I want to **** you all night long.”
Do you have children?
No.
Do you want children?
Never given it any thought. My childhood was a ****ing mess. I promised one thing to myself: I knew what it was like growing up without a father and meeting him 25 years later. I would never do that to a human being because of what I went through. If I bring somebody into this world, I’m going to be there. Until I can guarantee that, I don’t deserve to have a child. My childhood was so bad that if somebody said, “Would you rather go through your childhood again or never be born?” I’d say I’d rather never been born. I used to sit around and say, Why can’t I live in his house down the street.? Why am I stuck in ****in’ purgatory here, in this **** hole?” You know, that’s OK, because it gives you character. But who wants to get character that way?
Are you spiritual?
To a degree.
Have you become more so?
It’s an interesting question. My little brother Joe died a year and a half ago. I always prayed and went to church once a week, and I haven’t been there or prayed with the same conviction since. He died a very slow, painful death of cancer. In my arms. He was really a good guy, he didn’t have a mean bone in his body. You see somebody die like that, who’s your blood, at a young age and you think, “What the **** is going on?” It’s been hard for me. I was raised very Catholic. Joe’s death took a lot out of me, but it also gave me strength. When we visited each other when he was dying, we hadn’t seen each other for a while, but he looked at me and said, “You’ve changed, Bro. I never thought you would.” Here’s a guy dying who’s glad to see the change in me. So now, if some days I can’t do it for myself, I think about him and how much it meant for him to see me not the way I was.
Alan Parker, the director of Angel Heart, described you as a “nightmare, very dangerous, because you never know what he’s going to do on set.” Is that an accurate assessment?
I never do the same take twice. Same way I’m not going to sit in this chair the same way I sat her 20 minutes ago, and people aren’t used to that, especially if they come from the theatre. So I think he’s talking about something like that net of unpredictability.
Has that changed?
No.
Do you still really enjoy acting?
You know what, ever since I got a second chance, I love it more then ever. Because, you know, if you’re talented and you put the work in, you’re going to make it the first time around. It might take you 10 years, like it did me. But when your career is over, once you’re a has-been and you’re finished, to come back after 13 years and you’re not 28 years old anymore...well, not many people can do that.
If you hadn’t come back, what would you have done?
There’s nothing worse than an out-of-work actor. I don’t know. I was at the point when I was going to go back to Miami and do God know what.
Who’s the person you had the biggest falling out with?
God. But I think it’s one-sided. I think he’s still with me. Faith is a changing thing. Some days you have it, some days you don’t.You question whether you can be heard.
Do you eve look back on something you’ve done and cringed?
**** yeah. From girls I’ve been with, to movies I’ve made, to things I though I wanted to do. I can watch a movie and remember the life beyond it. “Oh, I was going through this at the time or I was going out with that one at the time.” You go, “Wow, that was a terrible ****ing time.”
How do you feel about the word “comeback”?
I’m afraid of it, in a way. Because people always go, “Glad you’re back,” and when you’ve been out of work 13 -14 years, you never feel like a come back. I thought after four, five years it might happen, and when several years went by, I thought the dance was over. So when people say, “You’re back,” I think, “Ooh, dunno.” Because I’ve still got it in me to really **** up. I can’t pat myself on the back and say “You’re back,” because of where I was. When you lose your career, your wife, your house, your money - all at the same time - it’s humiliating. It’s humiliating to hear, “Oh, what happened to you?” Or, “How come you don’t work anymore?” You know, you to buy a pack of cigarettes and you hear, “Oh, you used to be in the movies,” it goes through you like a bolt of lightening.
What stops you from ****ing up again?
Just no reacting right off the bat, just going, “OK, there’s consequences to this. “The other day, there’s some drunk guy giving me **** in a restaurant. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I said to the waitress, who’s next to me, “I want you to watch this. If he touches me, I’m going to knock him right the **** out.” And they got rid of him. Where in the old days I would have just punched him in the mouth. He was really being rude and obnoxious, but I’m now able to evaluate and see what the consequences are.
Do you think about your legacy?
No, not at all. There’s a guy running around that wants to do my memoirs. I say, “Not now, I’ve got stuff to do.”
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