Paul McCartney and Heather Mills split...

[magpie]

It's getting ugly...

 

[mellowdrama]

Pound of Flesh World Tour 2007

That's what I was wondering too....maybe the McCartneys have a house in America and in order to figure out who gets the house, they have to file papers in America as well ?

If he has a house in America, then I reside in furthest Patagonia at the Estancia Gravamen del Gringo. Paul wouldn't deign to live here, and I don't blame him, though he appears to make frequent autumnal migratory paths through the country, stopping in at various Staples Centers, PacBell Parks, and Pepsi Pavillions, nesting in the girders and cooing until a groundskeeper shoos him away with a broom. Living in America?-- that ain't ever gonna happen. I'm guessing he and Heather have an American-based fiduciary trust-type thing that needs its locks changed.

I know you couldn't bear living in the US, Paul: I can't bear it, it was an accident of birth. Minnesota, maybe? The Wisconsin Dells? I can compromise with South America, Paul. Come on, love, let's open that cattle petting-zoo and fulfill my vegan rodeo clown dreams. Get in the barrel, sweetie:

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"It's not whether you're gonna get hurt, it's when and how bad"
The job can be brutal, says Scooter. "And there's not an insurance company in the world that'll touch you." He should know: he's suffered 24 broken bones, three concussions, a dislocated jaw, and worse. One bull, after knocking him down, proceeded to "camp out" on top of him. It took a while to get him off, and when the dedicated performer tried to continue the show, somebody told him he was hurt. "I'm ok," he said, turning toward the arena. "No, no, man," the guy shouted. "Here's your ear!" He didn't get back into the ring that day.

[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Scooter sums it up this way. "It's a great feeling when the crowd applauds and appreciates your efforts. But the greatest is when the cowboys come to you and let you know how much they appreciate you being there for them night after night."

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]So if you yearn for the adrenaline rush of danger mixed with the roaring laughter of a crowd - and you don't mind getting knocked around a bit - paint your face, pick a nickname, get yourself some baggy pants...and dream on![/FONT]

 

[mellowdrama]

Apparently, I live in far Patagonia

SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY and his estranged wife HEATHER MILLS have spent 40 minutes alone together in a desperate attempt to end their bitter divorce battle amicably. The former BEATLE reportedly invited Mills into his US holiday home in East Hampton on Wednesday (30AUG06) after she picked up their three-year-old daughter BEATRICE. Shocked security guards were asked to leave the scene while the pair tried to resolve their differences. A source tells British newspaper the Sunday Mirror, "Paul and Heather have been doing their best to avoid each other for months. But they have decided to put their differences aside for the sake of their daughter."
03/09/2006 15:20

contactmusic.com

Wow, McCartney in East Hampton on Labor Day weekend! How far the great have fallen! Isn't it too hot, too cold, too crowded or something? I can picture the festivities now! Complaining about the charred-flesh stink of the neighbors' Labor Day barbeques, digging for clams in Quogue, burying them up again, then off for some duelling pianos with Billy Joel, whose wife might have an acceptable little sister...

Oh, Paul, just give us 40 minutes alone together! I'll put a smile on your face--Billy Joel's wife's little sister won't do--she can't ignore you like I can! I am on the private beach, waiting inside a burlap sack for your arrival. We've got to stop Heather from hiring Allen Klein, who'll offer a dorsal/ventral split for your daughter's custody.

We can have chowder at Gosman's. Speak to me, baby.

 

[VainJane]

^ AHahahahahahahahaha!!!

 

[mellowdrama]

Ven a mi, McCartney

Meet me in People's Park, and I will serenade you with my own rendition of "Besame Mucho" in the original Spanish.

 

[sosneha]

i hate Heather Mills, i hope she dont get Paul's money

 

[CTstyle]

Paul and Heather pursued media attention during their engagement and wedding. Now it is the media's fault for not giving them the time and space they needed to make the marriage work? I don't think so!
Paul, come on, dude, the media does not actually care about your marriage to Heather. I forgot about her actually! He married this woman telling everyone how deeply they were in love. Now he is jetting to New York to consult with big-guns attorneys about divorcing her and seems ready to blame anything but himself. I'm not saying who's fault it is. I don't know the personal reasons for their decision. But it cannot be the media's fault. That is impossible. He is just using the media excuse to not say what is really happening. It is his right to just say, "We are divorcing for reasons we wish to keep private." He does not need to make up things to say. Very childish.

 

[mellowdrama]

I'll put a smile on your face--Billy Joel's wife's little sister won't do--she can't ignore you like I can!

EDIT: Should read "Billy Joel's third wife's little sister won't do." Third time's a charm, Paul. We can make mashed potatoes, too. I can pare 'em, you can mash 'em.

Meanwhile:

Rod Stewart says he feels sorry for Sir Paul McCartney. The Scottish rocker insists he understands the heartache Paul has been battling following his split from wife, Heather Mills, and admits his divorce to model Rachel Hunter was a sad chapter in his life.

The Britt Ekland breakup was merely a disheartening footnote. Rod feels sorry for you like a guy who trades in a new car every year does for the sucker who leases to own. What's Rod up to, young blonde trophy #5? The gold, it tarnishes: they keep getting mean and distant, with dark hairs sprouting out of moles like witches' teats. Unsatisfied, rapacious, bored.


BTW, Paul, I know we can work around the blonde thing. I've got a great colorist, and as far as the carpet matching the drapes, they've got lasers that do amazing things these days. I'll have it shaped like topiary, frosted and tipped, or I can be as bald as Dakota Fanning at her Oscar debutante ball, if you know what I mean. Whatever you need, baby.

 

[CTstyle]

I guess Heather wants more than the what-46 million (dollars or euros, I dunno) settlement, so that screams a lot right there. I don't think she will get all that she wants. Paul is bringing out the big guns now with his New York lawyers. Their marriage is not four years old (they married in what, 2002?)
I bet she will get max 30-50 million plus a hefty annual child support. That is quite enough to be very cozy, so she should be happy.
Also, doesn't she have a baby-clothing line since her marriage?

 

[mellowdrama]

Paul McCartney Divorce Deal: $72 Million to Gag Heather Mills? By Susan Hatch
Sep 13, 2006 As the Paul McCartney divorce from Heather Mills becomes more and more public each day a report has emerged that Paul McCartney has reportedly offered his estranged wife Heather Mills $72 million to divorce and never discuss their marriage in public or to the media. That's some serious cash and according to reports the offer was made in secret.

***​

But as this thing plays out - it appears that nothing is secret anymore. Digital Spy cites PR guru Max Clifford and he believes that stories such as this one may be a result of Mills' efforts to exert pressure. "She is on the attack and he is on the defense," he commented. "He is the one trying to settle as quietly and quickly as possible.

"He doesn't want his dirty washing aired in public and she knows that. The more that appears in the papers about her being locked out of the house and the bank accounts frozen, the more embarrassed he becomes and the more pressure he is under."

***​

The alleged offer would allow the former model to receive the money over 20 years -- provided she never reveals any details of the pair's four-year marriage. The story comes from the British tabloid 'News Of The World.'
The source tells the magazine "Heather must reveal nothing about their personal lives. No books, no TV specials. She has one hell of a story and Paul wants a settlement to make sure it never comes out. Any breach of the conditions would allow him to stop the payments," the source dishes.
"So basically he has control of Heather for the rest of his life."
For the low-low price of $72 Million US.
--Susan Hatch writes from Phoenix

http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_27268352.shtml

Paul, baby, you can gag me anytime for much cheaper, but I can't guarantee I won't make the experience into a future "Circus of the Stars" vignette.

 

[mellowdrama]

McCartney Divorce Heats Up

29 September 2006

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]Serious allegations about Sir Paul McCartney's treatment of estranged wife Heather Mills will be made public in the divorce courts.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]Lawyer Antony Julius has been compiling a file of complaints Heather has made about the former Beatles legend and Heather is reportedly determined not to be portrayed as the "bad guy" in court.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]A source told Britain's Daily Mail newspaper: "Heather has made a series of very serious allegations against Paul which are set to come out in court.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]She feels her character has been damaged irrevocably by stories leaked about her. If all goes to plan, what has happened in this marriage will not remain secret.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]"Heather will not want to go down in history as 'Evil Heather' - the bad guy in this marriage."[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]Since the pair split in May, allegations emerged that Heather was once was a high-class prostitute - claims which she vehemently denies - and pictures were published of her posing naked in a German sex book.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]The source revealed: "Heather feels she has been struggling against the might of 'Team Macca' since the break-up. She feels that Paul's side has been constantly leaking stories about her. Stories about her being offered £30 million for a quickie divorce and turning it down.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]"There has been no offer yet. She has £1 million in a bank account and that's it."[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]A key part of the evidence against Paul is said to be the taped conversation between the 64-year-old and his daughter Stella.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]The source said: "The pair are heard speaking unguardedly about their true feelings for Heather. The fact that this tape fell into Heather's hand has been unfortunate for Paul and is bound to cost him dear. Heather's lawyers will certainly be using it as a bargaining tool."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, MS Sans Serif]-Bang! Showbiz[/FONT]

I would leap at the chance to go down in history with my name prefixed by the qualifier "Evil", though "Maleficient" goes much better with my name:

Maleficient Melissa McCartney!

 

[Zen]

This is ugly! This could go down in history for the ugliest divorce within
the celebrity circuit....

 

[mellowdrama]

Mills-McCartney alleges Paul beat Linda

AAP October 23, 2006

LONDON: Paul McCartney's divorce from Heather Mills has taken another nasty turn, with the former Beatle's estranged wife claiming he physically abused his first wife, Linda.

The claim comes just days after newspapers published apparently leaked divorce papers detailing Heather Mills McCartney's allegations against Sir Paul, including that he attacked her.

British newspapers are reporting that the 38-year-old Mills, a former model, has told friends she believes she has damning information about Paul and Linda's 29-year marriage. Linda McCartney died of breast cancer in 1998.

The Sunday Mirror says Sir Paul, who was devoted to Linda and rarely spent a night away from her in their 29-year marriage, is aware of the latest claims.

"This is a step too far. Next she'll be saying she's discovered a brand new colour. It's getting more ridiculous by the minute," the Sunday Mirror quoted a source close to Sir Paul.

"There's one thing to make all the claims she has last week but this is just outrageous. It's nonsense, Paul and Linda had a fantastic marriage."

Sir Paul's official spokesman declined to comment.

A close friend told The Mail on Sunday: "She told me that he did to Linda what he did to her. She says that staff of Paul's told her that Linda had also suffered abuse."

The Sunday Mirror says Mills also taunted Sir Paul's fashion designer daughter Stella by telling her she knew of incidents involving her mother and father, saying to her: "You're so full of bitterness, Stella.

"Is it because you can't forgive your father for what he did to your mother?"

Documents which emerged last week alleged that, while in Los Angeles in 2002, McCartney "grabbed (Mills) by the neck and pushed her over a coffee table".

They also claimed that McCartney lunged at her with the broken stem of a wine glass which cut her arm and made it bleed.

McCartney, 64, has said in a statement through his lawyers that the only correct place for him to respond to the allegations is in the divorce courts.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,20628693-2703,00.html

Now there's a shocker. I'll still be your vegan rodeo clown, Paul-baby. We'll get two barrels and some sensory-deprivation tanks. When we threaten to knock the daylights out of each other, we can run and jump in the barrel, and whomever's feeling scrappy can knock it down. Then we'll say the safe word and we're off to a little cool down in the Samadhi tanks. It will spark some magic, Dmaj6 style. No one has to see my face, honey. And as for the kiddies, we can easily adopt a nationful and give them right back when they cry for Daddy.

I can cry for Daddy, too, BTW.

Marry me, Paul. Oh, how we could harmonize. Heart of my hearts, sweetie.

 

[lemeray]

Heather Mills is a nutcase.

My sister watched a documentary about her life. Her and her friend claimed that they were raped by there piano teacher when in fact they stole the story from some other women. There was an investigation and the woman who was actually raped said Heather ruined her life as she had to re-live the traumatic expeirences of the past.

Also in her past history she was engaged or married (can remember) to some very rich middle eastern man, off course she was only with him for the money.

She's officially mental.

 

[mellowdrama]

I'm officially mental, too! I, too, will write a self-help book, and credit my otherwise ghostwriter upfront, like Heather does!:

Explores many keys to health for the body, mind and soul.

Heather's approach to feeling fit, healthy and happy is the perfect introduction to the whole area of well-being.

Rather than working on one aspect in isolation, you can explore many keys to health for the body, mind and soul; the book includes chapters on confidence boosting, simple meditation techniques, nutrition facts and figures and fitting in exercise to a hectic lifestyle. Put the keys together and unlock the vibrant, vital inner you.

http://www.penguin.co.uk/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780718146672,00.html

Hooray for nutrition and confidence boosting! Your secret mantra is "sucka sucka sucka sucka sucka, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah". Excercise tips?--bend over, boyfriend! Put the keys together: That'll be $24.95, please. I'm feeling more vital already...howabout you?

 

[Jennika]

Lainey's take:

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleList.aspx?ID=4884

The stoic Paul, the relentless Heather

Have you ever caught someone in a lie and instead of conceding, all they can do is offer more lies to explain the original lies? Have you ever found yourself in an argument with a Classic Drama Queen who, when called out for bad behaviour, routinely resorts to hysterics and other diversionary blame tactics like disease, pregnancy, depression, family members fallen ill, break ups, or any number of sympathy-inducing tactics to transition from villain to victim with one twist of the heart?

Heather Mills is all this and more.

On the heels of her bombshell abuse accusations last week, Heather is now suggesting that Paul McCartney also abused his first wife Linda - 'a claim that even her own supporters say puts a question mark against her honesty'. She has also allowed her friends to leak word that she is in possession of conclusive evidence that Paul admitted to hurting her and though the source was unsure about what this was exactly, she was quite certain they were not audio tapes.

Needless to say, anyone who has ever known Paul & Linda McCartney and was privy to their famously devoted 30 year marriage is now incensed, though many McCartney supporters believe that Heather's increasingly tall tales are damaging her credibility more than his. One by one, her 'truths' are being found wanting, starting with confirmation from the Sussex Police who have no records, despite her insistence otherwise, that police were dispatched during domestic violence incidents.

As for her allegations that Paul mistreated her on tour, his former publicist has gone on record to dispute each and every incident, having been employed with McCartney at the time and present during many of those occasions. In addition, many are now combing through her autobiography, pointing out inconsistencies that indicate a penchant for fabrication and content that also seems to contradict many of her current allegations.

I'm told however that Heather's ultimate intention is not accuracy or public opinion or even to be vindicated. What she wants is to make things so uncomfortable, so embarrassing, so unbearably intrusive for Paul, he can't help but capitulate and pay her more than he originally wanted to. Which is why she has apparently instructed her legal team to make the divorce proceedings public, taking the situation to a level of ugliness McCartney will obviously abhor.

Trust me gossips. This woman knows she will never win your hearts. And she knows she will always be the Most Hated Woman in Britain. So why not be the Most Hated Woman in Britain to the tune of 100 million pounds???

 

[tifa]

She is the ultimate gold digger mentalist. In fact, I'd say she even won over Anna Nicole and she doesn't give up her insanity crown easily.

 

[xtine888]

That is really low of her to be dragging Linda McCartney into this. There....are no words for how disgustingly classless this is.

 

[Zen]

What a freak! How low is that to bring Linda McCartney into this?!
Heather Mills, she's a pathological liar. Can you say slander and/or
liability? Who let this nut job out?

 

[mellowdrama]

Media: Mills and McCartney . . . must I take sides?
Media
Peter Wilby
Monday 30th October 2006
​

The posh papers are never very helpful on these occasions, offering a mixture of world-weary cynicism and high-minded lamentation​

I have been mugging up on the Heather Mills/Paul McCartney divorce. This is not a subject on which, if one is to be a fully participating member of our vibrant 21st-century democracy, it is possible to be neutral, or even apathetic. Even my wife wants to know which side I'm on. There is no equivalent of the Lib Dems to vote for and, as a press commentator, I can't refuse to attend the polling station.

The latest chapter in this saga began on 18 October when the Daily Mail published leaked court papers detailing the Mills case against McCartney. He had, she alleged, got drunk and stoned, beaten her up, stabbed her with a broken wine glass, stopped her breastfeeding and forbidden her to use an antique bedpan. These, wrote Deborah Orr in the Independent, sounded like "fairly commonplace symptoms of a marriage that wasn't working (and even . . . of one that's perfectly all right, really)". Which gives us an interesting insight into the family life that Orr shares with the novelist Will Self, but not much more.

The posh papers - though they now devote almost as much space as the red tops to celebrity divorces - are never helpful on these occasions, I find. They offer a mixture of world-weary cynicism and high-minded lamentation. One is reminded of Malcolm Muggeridge's celebrated spoof of a typical Guardian editorial: "It is greatly to be hoped that wiser counsels will yet prevail." Thus, the Times's Jane Shilling, drawing on the wisdom of John Donne, wrote that "the McCartney break-up diminishes us all". It had "no redemptive quality".

But I'm not looking for redemption, only an opinion. Here, the more downmarket papers provide, if the McCartneys will forgive the term, more red meat. The trouble is, there's so much of it to get through.

After the initial leak - which, the Guardian prissily pointed out, breached the Judicial Proceedings (Regulation of Reports) Act 1926 - further allegations came thick and fast from both sides. Sir Paul, the Mail assured us, was "maintaining a dignified silence". However, like so many celebrities and politicians, he has amazingly garrulous friends.

He was "incandescent with rage" and "suffering deeply", the friends are reported to have claimed. He had needed to visit a psychiatrist and only the children of his first marriage had saved him from a breakdown.

Next came Mills's friends. She was in "floods of tears" and her lawyer, Anthony Julius, was "frothing with rage" (possibly a more serious condition than being incandescent). McCartney was trying to get custody of their daughter, Beatrice. He had allegedly beaten up his first wife, Linda.

Your turn, Macca. Heather smashed chairs, threw ornaments, and aimed a bottle of ketchup at her husband, "aides" alleged to the News of the World.

Lots of anger, lots of violence, and vegetarian food all over the carpet, but I still need an opinion. Piers Morgan, a former Daily Mirror editor, had originally introduced Mills - "this vengeful, shameless, ghastly woman" - to McCartney and for that he was now "filled with guilt and sorrow", he wrote in the Mail. On the other hand, Lisa Norris, also in the Mail, reported that McCartney had stormed out of a press conference she had organised while Mills - "a strong, attractive woman" - had "discreetly mouthed" apologies. And Fergus Shanahan in the Sun explained that McCartney married her mainly because "she was terrific in bed" and just went off her "once the bedroom fireworks had dimmed". Damning evidence, I thought; all men are bastards, as a red-top male columnist should know.

In the Mirror, however, Fiona Phillips reported that McCartney had once given her a cup of tea. Well, Heather Mills once gave me coffee in a plastic cup. No, not her, but a namesake who was a colleague on the Independent, and now works for Private Eye. She alleged in the Mail on Sunday that Mills 1 tried to further her TV career by claiming authorship of pieces written by Mills 2.

That decided me. The coffee wasn't much cop, but Mills 2 had honestly warned me it wouldn't be, thus proving, in red-top commentators' logic, that she is and always will be a trustworthy woman. Then I looked back to Saturday's Mail and saw that Mills (Mills 1, that is) reckons she got all her rows with McCartney on digital camcorder.

I think I shall wait to see the films. "The public will make up their own mind," wrote Richard Stott in the Sunday Mirror. I had been under the impression that judges adjudicated in divorce cases, but I am clearly mistaken. The proper end of this newspaper feeding frenzy is for Mills and McCartney to post all their evidence on the web, and then to allow the populace to vote, Big Brother-style, on who scoops the jackpot. I promise to have made up my mind by then.​

This article first appeared in the New Statesman.
For the latest in current and cultural affairs take out a print or online subscription.​

Like I already said months ago, Paul, I throw a mean salt shaker. Marry me. Dermablend covers bruises really well!