Revealed: The cocktail of drugs Alexander McQueen took before hanging himself in wardrobe
He was the darling of British fashion.
Alexander McQueen was celebrated and revered the world over.
But yesterday an inquest into his death revealed the top designer's secret torment.
Betrayed by his friends in the lonely, shallow world of fashion and overcome with the pressures of work, the fashion icon was plagued by depression, anxiety and insomnia.
When his beloved 75-year-old mother Joyce died, he lost the 'one link' that was worth living for.
The 40-year-old hanged himself in his wardrobe after taking a lethal cocktail of cocaine, tranquillisers and sleeping tablets, his inquest heard yesterday.
In an extraordinary scene, the fashion star was found dead in the bedroom of his £2million Mayfair home beside a single burning candle.
Scattered around the room were clothes he had flung from the wardrobe as well as a meat cleaver, kitchen knife and ceremonial dagger he had used earlier to slit his wrists.
He had consumed enough cocaine to kill him, as well as a potentially lethal concoction of sleeping tablets.
Police later found a suicide note, which said: 'I'm sorry.'
Scrawled on the back of a book called The Descent of Man by London artist, Wolfe von Lenkiewicz, he wrote: 'Look after my dogs. Sorry, I love you, Lee. P.S. Bury me at the church.'
Westminster Coroner's Court heard yesterday how the four-times British Designer of the Year died on February 11, the day before his mother's funeral.
A packed court attended by his sisters, Janet, Jacqui, his aunt Anne and his muse, the former model Annabelle Neilson, was told of the designer's troubled private life.
Coroner's officer Lynda Martindill said: 'Mr McQueen had a previous medical history of depression, anxiety, insomnia and self-harm.
'There had been previous suicide attempts and substance misuse.'He had been particularly close to his mother and, following her death, had become overwhelmed with grief.'
Following two suicide attempts in May and July 2009 when the designer took drug overdoses, he was referred by his GP to a psychiatrist for help.
Dr Stephen Pereira diagnosed a mixed anxiety and depressive disorder and prescribed sleeping pills and antidepressants.
But Mr McQueen stopped taking the medication and failed to show up at appointments with a psychologist.
Mr Pereira said: 'He certainly felt very pressured by his work and at the same time, it was like a double-edged sword.
'It was the only area of his life where he felt he had achieved something when he was doing his work.
'Usually after work had finished, after the shows he felt a huge comedown.
'He felt very isolated and lonely, it gave him a severe low and high.'
The court heard the designer did not embrace the glitz and glamour that came with his success, instead prefering skiing, deep sea diving and spending quiet time with his dogs.
Dr Pereira went on: 'He was a very secretive person.
'Over a period of time he had been let down by his friends who he felt were taking advantage of who he was.
'For that reason he was very guarded with most people, he was very paranoid and very suspicious.
'As far as his private life was concerned, he was quite confused, he had been terribly let down in close relationships.
'He had long-standing psychological issues.'
Mr Pereira said previous suicide attempts had been a 'cry for help', but it was his mother's death on February 2 that pushed him over the edge.
He told the court: 'He was mentally very close to his mother.
'I think on top of the grief he felt there was that one link that had gone from his life and there was very little to live for.'
The designer was found dead by his housekeeper hanging in the wardrobe from his favourite brown leather belt.
A toxicology report showed his blood contained 2.8 milligrammes of cocaine per litre. As little as 0.7 grammes per litre can prove fatal.
Police also found packets of a tranquilliser banned in the UK, which has been used as a date r*pe drug.
A laptop discarded on the bed showed he had been searching the web in an attempt to find out how long it takes for someone to die after they have slit their wrists.
The court also heard he had attempted to hang himself in the shower but it buckled under his weight.
A post-mortem examination found the cause of death was asphyxia and hanging.
The coroner Dr Paul Knapman said: 'It seems that he had a past history of self harm and, no doubt fuelled by cocaine, resorted to desperate measures to end his life.
'It's such a pity for a man who, from a modest start, climbed to the pinnacle of his profession only for it to end in such a tragedy.
'He killed himself whilst the balance of his mind was disturbed.'
The son of a taxi driver, Alexander McQueen left school aged 16 and became an apprentice on Savile Row before shooting to fame in 1992 when a collection he designed for his masters degree in fashion was bought in its entirety by legendary magazine editor Isabella Blow.
He became chief designer at Givenchy a few years later before working for Gucci. He was awarded the CBE in 2002.
A statement from the family - who held a private funeral for him, followed by a cremation - said: 'Today's inquest has obviously been very difficult for the family as we are still coming to terms with the loss of Lee in such tragic circumstances.
'Lee was a public figure and creative genius who possessed a generous loving and caring nature.
'Those who were privileged to have known Lee will cherish their memories of him for all their lives.
'Lee was also a much loved brother and son and we miss him terribly. We will continue to make every effort to keep his memory alive.'
he had so much more to give..
