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Seinfeld
- Thread starter mnis
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fashion_boi_01
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I love this show!! Kramer is my absolute favourite..
[SIZE=-1]George: What is a barometer anyway?
Kramer: It's pronounced thermometer[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]George: What is a barometer anyway?
Kramer: It's pronounced thermometer[/SIZE]
brokenenglish
Deep Red Bells
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George:"Why would I spend seven dollars to see a movie that I could watch at home?" Kramer:
"Well, why go to a fine restaurant when you could just stick something in the microwave... Why go to the park and fly a kite when you could just pop a pill?"
any conversation any character has with Kramer is usually funny
"Well, why go to a fine restaurant when you could just stick something in the microwave... Why go to the park and fly a kite when you could just pop a pill?"
any conversation any character has with Kramer is usually funny
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some seinfeld quotes from wikipedia
jerry:
"Hello, Newman."
"He's a bubble boy!"
"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"
"I'm not bragging. I happen to have a keen lesbian eye."
"...Mulva? "
George:
"I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual. "
"NO, no, It's about NOTHING "
"Hi, My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."
Elaine:
"GET OUT! "[usually followed by some sort of pushing or another form of physical contact]
"For I have seen the nipple on your soul! "
Kramer:
"I just saw a pigman . . . a pigman! "
Jerry: Elaine, do women know about shrinkage?
Elaine: You mean like laundry?
Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming...and it's cold...
Elaine: Oh! It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George: It just does!
Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things
jerry:
"Hello, Newman."
"He's a bubble boy!"
"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"
"I'm not bragging. I happen to have a keen lesbian eye."
"...Mulva? "
George:
"I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual. "
"NO, no, It's about NOTHING "
"Hi, My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."
Elaine:
"GET OUT! "[usually followed by some sort of pushing or another form of physical contact]
"For I have seen the nipple on your soul! "
Kramer:
"I just saw a pigman . . . a pigman! "
Jerry: Elaine, do women know about shrinkage?
Elaine: You mean like laundry?
Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming...and it's cold...
Elaine: Oh! It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George: It just does!
Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things
On marriage
"I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."
"Really?"
"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."
"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"
"Yes, we did." "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."
"There isn't?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."
"I can?"
"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"
"What?"
"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"
"Boy."
"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."
"I'm glad we had this talk."
"Oh, you have no idea."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Engagement"
"I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."
"Really?"
"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."
"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"
"Yes, we did." "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."
"There isn't?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."
"I can?"
"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"
"What?"
"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"
"Boy."
"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."
"I'm glad we had this talk."
"Oh, you have no idea."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Engagement"
"Okay next bachelor is number, um 124 on your program. He's uh, he's a high school graduate."
"Equivalent."
"Oh, uh equivalency. A high school equivalency program graduate. He's uh, self-employed. He's... I don't know, six foot three, 190 pounds, he likes, uh... fruit, and he just got uh, a haircut."
Kramer steps from the stage onto a table. The table tips over and Kramer falls off.
"Oh, Kramer. Okay uh, why don't we start the bidding. Do I hear, uh, five bucks?"
- Elaine and Kramer, in "The Barber
"Equivalent."
"Oh, uh equivalency. A high school equivalency program graduate. He's uh, self-employed. He's... I don't know, six foot three, 190 pounds, he likes, uh... fruit, and he just got uh, a haircut."
Kramer steps from the stage onto a table. The table tips over and Kramer falls off.
"Oh, Kramer. Okay uh, why don't we start the bidding. Do I hear, uh, five bucks?"
- Elaine and Kramer, in "The Barber
"Serenity now! Serenity now!""What is that?""The doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say 'serenity now!'""Are you supposed to yell it?""The man on the tape wasn't specific."
brokenenglish
Deep Red Bells
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Serenity now, Insanity Later
"I have no medical evidence to back me up, but something happened during the operation that staved off that infection. Something beyond science. Something perhaps from above..." "Mint?" "Those can be very refreshing." - The doctor and Kramer, in "The Junior Mints"
"So where's my sneakers?" "That's what I want to know." "What do you mean?" "Well, I saw mom and pop this morning, but when I went by the store on my way home the place was empty. Everything is gone. Mom and pop vanished!" "So all my sneakers are gone?" "I'm afraid so, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I've been asking around. They didn't even have any kids." "Mom and pop aren't even a mom and pop? "It was all an act, Jerry. They conned us, and they scored big-time!" "So, mom and pop's plan was to move into the neighborhood, establish trust - for 48 years - and then run off with Jerry's sneakers?" "Apparently." - Jerry, Kramer and Elaine, in "The Mom and Pop Store"
"I notice she's big on the phrase 'yada yada'.""Is 'yada yada' bad?""No, yada yada's good. She's very succinct.""She is succinct.""It's like you're dating USA Today."- Jerry and George, talking about Marcy, in "The Yada Yada"
LoveMyBoots
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keroppi said:They're showing reruns in my country and I admit I used to not understand it when I was younger, but now I'm so in love with it. Thanks guys for those quotes!
Same here. I catch a few episodes every now and then, and it's now that I realize how funny it is. And now, I understand all the references the show made. Especially that infamous episode: "The Contest:"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seinfeld#The_Contest_.28Season_4.29
and BTW, to this day, me and my sisters call my favorite strawberry candies "Jujyfruits" becasue of the resemblance
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oolie coco
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"It's the best, Jerry. The best."
"That's GOLD, Jerry. GOLD!"
You have no idea how much my friends and I say this to each other EVERY DAY. Some of them don't even watch Seinfeld for goodness sake!
"That's GOLD, Jerry. GOLD!"
You have no idea how much my friends and I say this to each other EVERY DAY. Some of them don't even watch Seinfeld for goodness sake!
the two last seasons were the best in my opinion.brokenenglish
Deep Red Bells
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My all time fave is when the Kenny Rodgers chicken moves to town and Jerry and Kramer switch apartments and personalities.
