The Twilight Saga Movies

[sobriquet87]

The new film currently has a whopping 10% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's with only 10 reviews counted, but even so, I don't think any of the previous ones started out that low.

 

[Alvedansen]

can't believe she was allowed to write this review as it's foe entertainment weekly, but it's the best review ever

Bella Swan has had the benefit of my doubt for the previous three installments of The Twilight Saga. But in Breaking Dawn — Part 1, this perpetually sad/sullen/wincing young woman — played as if every scene gives her cramps by the otherwise interesting Kristen Stewart — is a big drip. She's maddeningly inarticulate. She's distressingly passive. She's a bad role model for girls. So, I say enough. Enough with Bella's depressed, ragdoll posture and her eternal gloom. And a pox on Breaking Dawn, the movie, for its contented complicity with Stephenie Meyer's ultimately awful message to millions of readers. What we learn in this all-pain/no-pleasure episode is that marriage feels like a life sentence, weddings are miserable events, honeymoon sex is dangerous and leaves a bride covered in bruises, and pregnancy is a torment that leads to death in exchange for birth. Also, during pregnancy, families fight like werewolves and vampires. Way to go, YA message. At least Bella's wedding gown is pretty. Ooh! Cue the fashion blogs.​

Yes, I know, Twilight fans love The Twilight Saga. But they (you?) deserve something better to love.

Nothing goes right for our resigned heroine. She hates the foot-squishing, wobble-inducing high-heeled pumps urged on her by her stylish vampire sister-in-law-to-be Alice (Ashley Greene) — Alice is the designated wedding planner — but Bella doesn't even know how to put her foot down to demand an alternative. She has incapacitating, panic-attack-sized wedding jitters. (Could she could be panicking because she's ridiculously young to be getting married to a vampire instead of, oh, furthering her education or pursuing a career or finding out what she really wants out of life? Nah, that's just the liberal-elite feminist in me talking.) Edward (Robert Pattinson), Bella's fancy-haired, blood-sucking groom, is solicitous. But since Bella doesn't know how to speak to her beloved — you know, with words — the two just gaze into each other's eyes in the shared romantic agony of a young couple in over their heads. Jacob the werewolf (Taylor Lautner, shirtless within 15 seconds of his first appearance) shows up at the wedding, never missing an opportunity to be really, really angry. Bella shows her pleasure at Jacob's appearance by looking fetchingly stricken — she still loves him, naturally, just not in that way. Jacob responds by being angry.

Bella has the haggard look of a prisoner on her honeymoon with Edward in Brazilian paradise. Director Bill Condon and his production team use every dollar of their big budget to make a very handsome picture, but what's the fun of luxe scenery (or a fairytale wedding) under such circumstances? Countless blog posts can and will be written about the couple's honeymoon sex life — ''I'm hurting you!'' Edward groans with guilt. ''No. It's. Good,'' says Bella, wincing. Perhaps I'll add my own blog post to the ephemeral literature in a few days. Just know this: The overall message of Breaking Dawn is that humans must suffer on this earth. Especially women. Jeez, pregnancy and childbirth, staged with exorbitant production-design attention to gyno-catastrophe, look like scenes of full-on, fright-night horror.

As The Twilight Saga grinds to its conclusion with the upcoming Breaking Dawn — Part 2, neither the trendiness of vampires and werewolves, nor the playful vox pop fun of declaring allegiance to Team Edward and Team Jacob are enough to justify the prim sermon of fleshly punishment that is Twilight's eternal, hooey-filled message of damnation. C-

ew via ontd

 

[Alvedansen]

...also...~true luv~

ontd

i hope this isn't too spoilery for the ones of you who want to actually watch the movie and watch no scenes, i won't post any other gifs, i promise, but i couldn't resist with this one

 

[kokobombon]

^Gross!! it´s gonna be great to watch that on the big screen, i can´t stop laughing at the gif... Taylor´sface is too much LOL

about the review, must be the first one in all these years to go there, to call Meyer and the books for what they are... kudos to the writer.

 

[dajrekshn]

yup, that review is spot on with the general idea - premise - ideology series present.
LOL at Jacob. Taylor looks like he's on his way to flirt and then BAM it's a baby he wants to flirt with. CREEPY.

 

[Label Basher]

^ Poor Taylor. According to someone at ONTD whos seen it says that it isn't as bad as you think it's going to be and that the word imprinting isn't even mentioned. It can go over regular people's heads.

 

[colourmefashion]

im going to see the movie tomorrow night.
my friend is excited to see it, and its rubbing off on me too.
im becoming a twitard

help ?

anyway.
i scrolled right past that gif because i am (for some unknown reason) saving everything for the movie

 

[WerbowyStegner]

It was seriously boring and very awkward LOL but I'm still going to watch he second part just because..

 

[WerbowyStegner]

btw I think the only casting they got right IMO was Renesmee ;even though she's only 10 she's the most beautiful...



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[dennab216]

That kid is precious. She is going to be a bomshell later on if she keeps her looks tho

 

[jml2]

What we learn in this all-pain/no-pleasure episode is that marriage feels like a life sentence, weddings are miserable events, honeymoon sex is dangerous and leaves a bride covered in bruises, and pregnancy is a torment that leads to death in exchange for birth. Also, during pregnancy, families fight like werewolves and vampires.

Since when is a particular character's thoughts or story's events supposed to be seen as generalisations about life.
The characters fight like werewolves and vampires because that's what they are in the story. Not everything in books/movies is supposed to be a metaphor or message about real life.
Stories are full of conflict because it's more entertaining than watching everyone happily sitting around drinking tea for the entire movie, not because the message is supposed to be that all humans must suffer.
There's plenty to criticize about the books/movies but this angle is nonsense.

 

[dajrekshn]

watched it.
was much more fun and watchable more then i thought it would be. it's actually not boring at all and there are more than few chuckle moments. it has a nice pace, few new things were added and my god i found SMeyer already yuckworthy in the trailer - in the actual movie she actually has a scene of her own, no lines, but it's her in the focus of the scene for more than few seconds. i liked Bella's gown and i thought K looked amazing in it. also Edward's hot as he was in the first movie, all built up and pretty. vampire Bella looks awesome (love the dress they put her in at the end).

on a side note, Kristen had a minimal amount of sighs, only one actually caught my eye, it was quite surprising how different she seemed to be acting (IMO). on a pervy note - there's one slipped nipple. dunno how they got away with it.

 

[kokobombon]

^thanks for the review, I trust your taste... maybe I´ll like it

 

[Deleted member 31441]

Thanks Daj Glad to hear that it's decent.

 

[colourmefashion]

Im in the theater right now and im so excited

Still got a half hour before the previews even start but ill let you girls know what i thought in a few hours

And there is q scebe after the credits

 

[colourmefashion]

SWATH and Thw hunger games were previews..

movie..... So much better than i thought it would be
I actually really enjoyed it and this book i hared

My friend and i already plannes to go again
All was quite in the theater too. Except laughs at the funny parts

The acting has definitly improved too

 

[Dora]

Wow! I totally loved the movie. It was very good. The wedding scene was perfect, Bella's gown beautiful. Kristen's acting was really good, I was surprised. The soundtrack was amazing and well fit. The make up for the pregnant Bella was excellent and very dramatic. And me and my cousin were the only ones who waited until the end to see the Volturi scene (there's one behind them). Even the hostess was surprised, cuz she didn't know. I greatly recomend it: you won't be disappointed.
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[tanii94]

Dora, what happens in the scene after the final credits?

 

[dajrekshn]

it's Volturri's receiving the notice about the baby.

 

[Dora]

And saying that the Cullens have someone that they want (that is Alice).
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