In a revealing interview, the newly grounded young star opens up about her love life, family drama, and relaunching her acting career
By Marshall Heyman
It's a Saturday night in early October and Lindsay Lohan is sitting at the Chateau Marmont drinking a Shirley Temple. She is such a regular at the hotel that no one gives a second look when she comes racing in with a friend. Lindsay is wearing a black dress over a pair of her now-signature leggings, Yves Saint Laurent boots, several bracelets, two diamond rings on her right hand, and an open black Michael Jackson-like glove on her left. She looks a little more glamorous than usual — "The hostess said, 'It's so nice to see you dressed up,'" she says — and the faintly ironic beverage reveals that she's no longer living la vida Lohan. The message is clear: Lindsay has actually started growing up.
After close to five months in rehab in 2007, Lindsay, 22, is embracing maturity and recognizing she must take responsibility for her actions. "I was going to clubs all the time, and it was not okay. I was so alone. It made me not focus on what I was doing," she says now. Of her life pre-Cirque Lodge and Promises, she observes, "I was living here [at the Chateau] for almost two years. Who blows that much money on a hotel?" She waves her arm around and says, "I could have bought a house!"
But Lindsay admits candidly, "I did it to myself, and I have to deal with the consequences. I'm thankful for what I can take out of it. Now I feel clear. That's my past, and I'm a different person now. I have goals and I'm working to achieve them. I'm not hanging out with people who are out every night getting [censored]ed up.
"And," she adds sheepishly with a smile, "I think that I'm happy."
Her friend Jaime Zeluck, who works in the music business and has been silently checking her PDA, chimes in, "You're the best I've seen you in a while."
Truth be told, the Lindsay Lohan we know and love hasn't quite disappeared. She arrives more than an hour late. The reason for her tardiness: an oddly amusing story involving searching for Lindsay's Escalade and "climbing a hill in YSLs." (Lindsay doesn't have a driver's license at the moment.) Still, compared with past hijinks, this is Lohan lite. "I think at this point," she offers, "[the media] is like, 'Let her do what she's going to do. We've seen her do enough.'"
Lindsay's response may explain the nonchalant attitude the press has taken toward her latest reported romance, an apparent stabilizing force. She refuses to name DJ Samantha Ronson, known for her boyish attire, skinny jeans, and porkpie hat, as the object of her affection, though she has alluded to their relationship on her MySpace blog.
I feel like it jinxes it," Lindsay says cryptically. "It's hard. The second I start talking about whomever I'm seeing, a month or two later it's failed." The two have been inseparable for months. They have been photographed together on countless occasions: at Ronson's sister's fashion show in New York; cavorting in bikinis on the beach in Los Cabos, Mexico; at Lindsay's prom-themed 22nd-birthday party this past summer.
"I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing," Lindsay admits after much, much prodding. "I think it's no shock to anyone that it's been going on for quite some time. ... She's a wonderful person and I love her very much."
Has she previously been with a girl? She laughs and says, "I don't know. Maybe." Has she ever been embarrassed about being attracted to a woman? "No." Would she classify herself as bisexual? "Maybe. Yeah." Lesbian? "No." She goes on, "I don't want to classify myself. First of all, you never know what's going to happen — tomorrow, in a month, a year from now, five years from now. I appreciate people, and it doesn't matter who they are, and I feel blessed to be able to feel comfortable enough with myself that I can say that." She sees herself getting married "eventually," but whether to a man or a woman, "I don't know."
Her family — save for her father, Michael, who has publicly railed against Ronson — has been especially supportive. "It's never really come up as an issue," says Lindsay. "We're close; we've been through a lot. They're supportive of me whether I'm with a guy or a girl. They're just supportive of me as a person." When her 14-year-old sister, Ali, visited her on the set of Ugly Betty, on which Lindsay had a guest role this fall, she asked if her big sister was dating Ronson. Lindsay recalls, "Ali's known Samantha for a really long time. And she's like, 'Whatever it is, I support you. I probably won't ever do what it is you're doing, but I'm happy for you.' Ali's very mature. I've told her that it's okay to like a boy or a girl if you're comfortable with it and it's something you believe you want to do. And I told her not to be afraid of who she wants to be."
As for her father's behavior, "I would love to say it's surprising, but it's not. It doesn't bother me as much as embarrass and hurt me. And put a knife in my back," she says, on the verge of tears. "And it's hard because I was flipping through channels and someone on E! called him a loser. And that's my [censored]ing father!" The two are not speaking at the moment, though Lindsay insists, "He's not a bad guy. He's just making bad choices."
Lindsay, on the other hand, is making the best choices she can. Rather than hitting clubs like Crown Bar or Villa, she's been staying home more regularly, plopped in front of the television set. "I'm the biggest loser Gossip Girl fan," she says. "I love Chuck Bass. I want to be his friend."
Lately, she has become more actively engaged with the world through her blog, writing intelligently about such topics as Sarah Palin, a woman's right to abortion, gay rights, and her support of Barack Obama. Building a presence online has helped her let people know "there's a person in here," Lindsay says, tapping her head. "And I have feelings too, whether it's about politics, the person I'm seeing, the person I'm not seeing. That's my way of connecting. I don't want people to think that I'm just an empty [censored]ing whatever."
Lindsay is reclaiming her music and acting careers as well as, like most personalities these days, launching a fashion brand. Her leggings line, named 6126 after Marilyn Monroe's birth date, hit stores this past summer. "There's not much you can do with leggings, but I'm doing everything I can," she says. As for her music, she's wondering whether she should go the sophisticated route of, say, an Adele or dance music like Lady Gaga. (The examples are hers.) She would love for Ronson's hotshot producer brother, Mark, to work with her, but "he seems really busy," she says diplomatically.
Lindsay also recently completed her first film in more than a year, Labor Pains, a comedy in which she stars as a secretary who fakes a pregnancy to hold on to her job. According to producer Rick Schwartz (The Aviator and The Others), "People called me and said, 'How do you go from working with Kidman and Scorsese to Lindsay Lohan?' and I said, 'Watch me.'" He continues, "She delivered on every single thing that she promised me. When the director yells, 'Action,' you remember why she's a movie star. I want to find a role for her — like Nicole Kidman's in The Hours — that crystallizes her career. I feel like I'm trying to spread the gospel of Lindsay."
The film made Lindsay think about having her own kids, though that's probably something far in the future. "I don't know if I could really set a time because then it's like pressure to do it and failure if I don't," she explains. "It shouldn't be about that. It should be about knowing that you're ready."
Besides, she adds, "I still need to be in charge of taking care of myself and getting my [censored] in line and buying a house."
And working on convincing Hollywood she's gainfully employable again. Lindsay realizes it's not an easy road, "but I know people wouldn't have gone to see my movies if I didn't make them laugh or make them cry. I think it's a matter of finding the right thing. I'm sure my first thing back might not be that, but eventually it will come.
"That's what this business is," she continues, sounding like a grande dame of the movie industry — and maybe, with 10 years under her belt since she starred in the remake of The Parent Trap, that's what she is. "It builds you up to take you down and then sees how far you can come back.
"I don't really worry, though. I'm a fighter," Lindsay says, flipping back her long hair. "I'm up for a challenge, and I won't settle."
). But seriously, I love Sarah Silverman I am looking forward to it.
