Clothes as tools to mold your identity?

[J'aime_la_mode]

Good thread, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I will only buy clothes that reflect who I am but in a way its also who I want to become so I guess its just really confusing.

 

[Melisande]

Fashionista-ta, your post was really exciting for me. Thanks for the amazing input. I'm really interested in how clothing affects us...I never thought about feng shui but now that you mention it, you are absolutely right, it's the same idea. Never knew about handwriting...I guess just about anything very connected to our daily lives would make a difference in the energy. Interesting that you have the same experience with bedding! Purple...wow...that's fascinating.

J'aime la Mode, I think it's great that you choose clothes that reflect who you want to become; I think it's a positive outlook.

 

[fash ho']

Fash ho', it's really true about growing older, thank goodness.

I was discussing more about moulding your OWN identity...i.e."coaching" yourself into becoming a different person or coaxing out a certain part of you through what you choose to wear.

I think this has little to do with "moulding how OTHERS see you".

melisande, this is such an interesting topic. maybe i am going off on a tangent but i would argue its a little bit hard to unpack one thing (your own identity) without recognising the other (how others perceive you) . . . .at least at the larger "formulating your identity" level - delineating yourself from others or belonging to a subcultural group etc.

on an individual level though, i do recognise this situation when i have been freelancing and working from home, i waver between the luxury of working in my robe with natty hair, and getting myself together and putting on clothing that makes me feel 'efficient'. i don't know how much more productive i actually am when i am in 'efficiency-look mode ' but it certainly makes me feel like i am achieving more.

either which way, its just so interesting the power that clothes have in allowing you to access your own personal 'power' or elements of your personality . . . .

 

[sstrang]

^ You mentioned how clothing can have an effect on how you feel. I completely believe that this is true. When you look at various occupations and situations, people often behave and think differently when wearing different types of clothes. For example, lawyers and businesspepole often times feel more confident and professional when wearing a suit. A suit conveys authority, professionalism, and to a certain extent, perfection. Likewise, students who wear a uniform for school have been shown to perform better than those who don't have uniforms. Also, the clothes you wear will obviously convey different images to the people around you. When you think about it, clothing being used for symbolic purposes (i.e. social status) can be traced all the way back into Ancient Egypt, and even before then.

 

[tott]

Also, the clothes you wear will obviously convey different images to the people around you.

And not necessarily what YOU would like to portray. The interpretation lies in the eye of the beholder. There are no absolutes...

I had a discussion about designers, status and luxury with a co-worker and he used Hugo Boss as an example of expensive, high quality designerwear. I consider Hugo Boss to be middle-priced, generic stuff of so-so quality. Good for basics sometimes, but there are other labels out there with a much better price/quality ratio...

 

[theraindrops]

dddd

 

[Melisande]

melisande, this is such an interesting topic. maybe i am going off on a tangent but i would argue its a little bit hard to unpack one thing (your own identity) without recognising the other (how others perceive you) . . . .at least at the larger "formulating your identity" level - delineating yourself from others or belonging to a subcultural group etc.

on an individual level though, i do recognise this situation when i have been freelancing and working from home, i waver between the luxury of working in my robe with natty hair, and getting myself together and putting on clothing that makes me feel 'efficient'. i don't know how much more productive i actually am when i am in 'efficiency-look mode ' but it certainly makes me feel like i am achieving more.

either which way, its just so interesting the power that clothes have in allowing you to access your own personal 'power' or elements of your personality . . . .

Fash ho', thanks for the input, you're really right, it IS hard to delineate the "general image" of an outfit versus how it makes you feel...Hope I didn't sound too argumentative in my last post, I was kind of in a hurry (efficiency mode? ) and may have sounded curt Interesting what you say, since from my own experience, I think I actually AM more efficient when wearing "efficiency" clothing as opposed to pajamas. I mean, I physially can't veg out on the sofa wearing heels and pressed trousers for instance. I also simply have more energy when dressed properly...

Another example of this phenomenon; I think many women love wearing ballgowns because it makes them feel like princesses or movie stars---and at prom it was funny to see people suddenly acting proper and elegant simply because of what they're wearing.

 

[fashionista-ta]

Fashionista-ta, your post was really exciting for me. Thanks for the amazing input. I'm really interested in how clothing affects us...I never thought about feng shui but now that you mention it, you are absolutely right, it's the same idea. Never knew about handwriting...I guess just about anything very connected to our daily lives would make a difference in the energy. Interesting that you have the same experience with bedding! Purple...wow...that's fascinating.

J'aime la Mode, I think it's great that you choose clothes that reflect who you want to become; I think it's a positive outlook.

Melisande, my understanding of the theory is that you can change your life either way--from the inside out, or the outside in. Outside in perhaps being easier I think it feels more accessible, anyway.

But there's also another aspect to this, which is just support for the person you are right now--which you see in feng shui. I know there have been applications of feng shui to the face and body, but I've never come across anything detailed about this ... I'm sure it would be absolutely fascinating.

My front door used to be black (water), and I'm fire (in both feng shui and Western astrology). My feng shui consultant said that it was (paraphrasing) zapping my energy everytime I walked in the door. I was actually aware of this, but it felt calming vs zapping. I did change it on her advice (to raspberry), and I no longer get that feeling when I walk in the front door. Perhaps this is also why I am not thrilled to see black-black-black on the runway

 

[Curious]

So... isn't this one of the first rules of "Dress for Success"? Don't dress for your position, dress for your desired position. I think this statement holds true for both how we see ourselves AND how we're perceived. It's easier to play a part if you look the role... and easier for others to buy it


Color theory supports all your saying about your moods in relation to colors too... much like feng shui. Different shades and tones evoke different emotions & reactions. You know, yellow & red make you hungry hence McDonald's and Arby's color choices Etc, etc.

Yep, I think our clothing can definitely be considered a tool.. internal & external

 

[softgrey]

i have to throw something out there for the women....

what about OTHER women?...
especially in a work environment but even in a social environment...
i have felt and seen other women have physical reactions to me based on what i am wearing...
usually because they are competetive and are feeling somehow threatened by my appearance, specifically by my wardrobe...

it is something i am actually conscious of and at times i have been known to 'tone it down' just to avoid any sort of conflict ir issue with someone i know is insecure about their own appearance....

i won't do this in my personal life, beause that just makes me mad (why should i have to looks worse so they can feel better?!?!)..i just don't hang out with people like that......SO annoying...!

but in a work situation, it doesn't serve me to annoy people i am working with or to be perceived as some sort of threat...so in some of those scenarios i will take it down a notch....
it's still 'me'...but a 'quieter' version of me...

 

[fash ho']

well, i work with a woman who makes comments (not ouvertly good or bad) on my clothes nearly every day, but its more because she thinks i am ridiculous to make any effort at all, given where and what my office is.

but i would have thought that if you work in the fashion industry, its 'game-on' with regards to looking stylish. i would love to work with really stylish people; it would inspire me and i love when people put thought into their clothes. if its really supersexy stuff, though maybe that is more threatening to some people.

i am more "live and let live", so i don't understand that attitude at all. of course i do get 'wardrobe jealousy' (i almost go green in the Secret Shopoholics thread) but its not just having 'stuff' that is enviable; its more having panache or 'flair' (I always think of "Office Space" when i use that word!)

also, am i the only one who has a tendency to dress for other women sometimes, as well as myself?

btw melisande, you weren't curt at all. these kind of discussions are good for articulating and refining ideas . . . .

 

[fashionista-ta]

I mostly try to be careful when/where I wear low-cut blouses because of the resulting cleavage ... not that long ago I made an emergency trip to the Galleria when wearing a new blouse for the first time to work, and the seamstress pinned me up

I have had a male coworker go off on me before for dressing up in an all-jeans office--he was afraid that I was raising the bar I gave him my "I've never remarked on your clothing, please return the favor" speech.

I have at least one friend who doesn't like it when I'm more dressed up than she is. Since I was required to wear dresses/skirts as a child I'm very used to being "overdressed" and it doesn't bother me. Being "underdressed" has bothered me on the few occasions where I've achieved it I prefer skirts, and some people automatically perceive them as dressy, even when they're not.

I also like witty clothes and the occasional ruffle, and was once mistaken for a bimbo Well, I don't get underestimated all that often, something to take advantage of for sure B)

Whatever

 

[tifa]

I wouldn't say I use clothes as tools to mold my identity, more like I use my mood to mould my clothes.

I am not a morning person at all, and unfortunately that is usually when I have to leave the house. It really reflects on my style that day. I want to be comfortable, I can never be risky at that time of day when I'm too damn tired to care. I know it's cliche to say it but, I actually do put on the first thing I can find and it's usually jeans and t-shirt.

However, if I've had a long lie and some time to chill out and think about the day ahead of me I choose my clothes more carefully.

It makes me sad though when I see girls at college and work who look so well turned out in the morning. That's when I start to feel rubbish. I wish I could do the whole dressing well in the morning thing but I really can't and believe me I've tried!

 

[susie_bubble]

i have to throw something out there for the women....

what about OTHER women?...
especially in a work environment but even in a social environment...
i have felt and seen other women have physical reactions to me based on what i am wearing...
usually because they are competetive and are feeling somehow threatened by my appearance, specifically by my wardrobe...

it is something i am actually conscious of and at times i have been known to 'tone it down' just to avoid any sort of conflict ir issue with someone i know is insecure about their own appearance....

i won't do this in my personal life, beause that just makes me mad (why should i have to looks worse so they can feel better?!?!)..i just don't hang out with people like that......SO annoying...!

but in a work situation, it doesn't serve me to annoy people i am working with or to be perceived as some sort of threat...so in some of those scenarios i will take it down a notch....
it's still 'me'...but a 'quieter' version of me...

Interesting points Softie! Other females do give the once-over looks but I can't figure out whether it's because they're threatened, bewildered/confused or laughing at me? I don't have a particularly covetable wardrobe (as in expensive) so I'm pretty sure they're not threatened/jealous. I'm constantly thinking it's because they're bewildred and sniggering at me. I don't really mind as such and if it's my weekend time, or after work, I really don't give a s*** and so pretty much dress according to my fanciful whimsies.

In Hong Kong it's like ten times worse because I do dress differently from everyone else (funnily enough, I don't really conform to typical HK style either..... ) and they're a little less accepting than Londoners. So yes, I do experience hostility but again, I'm not sure if it's because they're threatened, they fear the unknown or they're just uber conservative. I might MAYBE mould my outfits more to their liking *shamefully* but I'm not really compromising anything because I still think the outfits I wear are more or less 'me'. I don't want to be a complete fashion hermit where onel wears things just to illicit bad reactions from people - that's just asking for trouble for no reason.

The odd thing is I don't really get threatened by the way someone else dresses - if it's different from the way I dress, obviously it's NOT me. If it's similar, then all the better for me to appreciate their style.

At work, even if I do have to tone it down, I still think it's 'me' just a little washed out that's all. Again I don't wanna set out to piss ppl off for the sake of style (ESPECIALLY in the field I work in where it's all about making contacts).

 

[tifa]

I wore shorts with tights the other day and I swear so many older women gave me dirty looks. I'd never give someone a dirty look over what they were wearing. I may laugh at something really awful but never in front of a person, seriously, so rude.

 

[tott]

^ Dirty looks, huh... People are so weird sometimes.

Once on the subway in Milan I was called a neo-nazi by an older woman. She hissed it at me as she was exiting and I was just left perplexed. I have very short blond hair, but I wouldn't say I dress in an even remotely "nazi" way?

 

[tangerine]

^ some people are weird, and some are just... crazy. I have heard some weird/crazy remarks from people, myself.

 

[tifa]

People are strange indeed. I work in a shop and an old lady came up to me and started saying things like "It's alright for you! You're skinny, you can wear what you like...I can't find ANY clothes that fit! People just make things for people like you". I actually laughed it was so random. I'm not even skinny, by the way...I'd call myself about average. So weird

 

[northernsky]

^ Dirty looks, huh... People are so weird sometimes.

Once on the subway in Milan I was called a neo-nazi by an older woman. She hissed it at me as she was exiting and I was just left perplexed. I have very short blond hair, but I wouldn't say I dress in an even remotely "nazi" way?

maybe it was a regional thing. in some areas people (well, "nazis") dress in a certain way to have some kind of uniformly look, for example certain brands. (fred perry, lonsdale.) things that aren't "nazi"-connected in themselves but if you are used to seeing right wing extremists dressing that way you automaticly connect the clothes with them. but probably she was just crazy. don't worry too much about that.

 

[tott]

^ I don't worry about it, it was just so odd. And I don't wear any of the labels you'd associate with nazis afaik... That day I was wearing a black double-breasted Ralph Lauren wool coat, Levi's and black Tod's chukka boots I think.