Kim Kardashian (please put all Kim news here)

[Kenysha75]

This Is Our Future, Part 2

And here we have two young girls crying with excitement, because they are posing with amateur p*rn star Kim Kardassian at the Grove in Hollywood yesterday. Or maybe they're crying because Kim is wearing cropped Hammer pants? No, wishful thinking. They are really freaking out over the fact that they met Kim Kardassian. Um, refresh my memory. When is the world supposed to end exactly?
michael k dlisted.com

 

[BetteT]

Moderator's Note:

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[CharmingNicky]

Dlisted is awesome love those comments!!
Poor girls, why in earth would you be crying when you see Kim K?

 

[Aoedele]

Geezus poor girl, why is she crying? I heart Kim too, but this is too much. I love Michael K., he's hilarious.

 

[FASHIONLOVA]

As you will see with this refined article
I do think its ok to be a wh*re but this sh*t is gettin all shades of wrong when 15 year old girls are cryin because they met your talentless a** shopping in L.A

haha very true.

 

[Kenysha75]

December 29th 2009
Monkey See, Monkey Pee

Kim Kardassian is really making it so easy (JUST LIKE HER!). She wrote this on her blog yesterday:

I stopped by Katalyst while Ashton Kutcher was filming! They had this little monkey that the magician, Dynamo, made appear! I thought he was really cute at first, but then he peed on me!! Ashton said the monkey had pooped on him, so I didn't feel too bad, haha. Gross little monkey!

The monkey obviously got the memo and was just trying to make Kim feel more comfortable. Seriously, it lit some candles, played some old school Boyz II Men and probably whispered sweet things into her ear as it golden showered her. And then she goes and calls it "GROSS?!" That poor little monkey. Don't be surprised if the monkey gets revenge by selling the video of his sweet moment with Kim to Vivid.
dlisted.com

 

[Kenysha75]

Salad p*rn

December 22nd 2009
Since Carl's Jr. is all about mixing their food with skanks (see Wonky and Ceiling Eyes), their latest commercial features Kim Kardassian tossing a salad and sucking on an apple like it's a big black dick. Seriously, b*tch is acting like the apple slice is about to piss on her eyebrows. This is just like her sex tape, but starring a salad instead of a Ray-J.

And who in the Khloe Kardashian hairy back hell eats a salad in the bath tub? Alexis Carrington taught me that only the following items are acceptable for consumption in the bath tub: champagne, strawberries, caviar....AND MEN!!!! Kim's tramp as* needs to check her fax machine, because I just sent her the memo so she doesn't fuc* up again.
dlisted.com

 

[Kenysha75]

The Photoshop Awards: Kim Kardassian's Perfume Ad

January 6th 2010

Let's not focus on the fact that all of our eyeballs are having a "Harpo, who dis woman?" moment. Instead, let's point out the positives of Kim Kardassian's ad for her new perfume.

It's a good thing Kim looks like her as*hole is burping up her initials since her perfume most likely smells like something (SPOILER ALERT: a colostomy bag and burnt anus hair) she shat up after a particularly messy butt sex session.

It's also a good thing that Kim is posing inside of a giant NuvaRing since every member of the Kardashian family (including Rob) should be legally required to carry a gigantic box of NuvaRings in their vaginas at all times.
Dlisted

 

[farou7a]

^ not an appealing ad at all!

This is just like her sex tape, but starring a salad instead of a Ray-J.

^

 

[ParadEyes]

 

[Kenysha75]

The Photoshop Awards: Khloe & Kim Kardashian On Life & Style September 9th 2009
]Last week, Life & Style took us into the world of 3-year-old Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (smells like paninis and plane fuel). This week, they take us into the world of these two heavy flow maxi pads. Yeah, where's the Chinatown bus that goes back to Shiloh's world, because I CAN'T with these twats!

Khloe and Kim are queefing about how they lost a ton of weight by using some stupid crap called QuickTrim (PLUG! PLUG! PLUG!) and "exercising." They both blabbed about how they want to tone up more, but are happy with their bodies. BLAH! Then Khloe farted that she lost 25lbs and is a size 6 now. Kim said she weighs 114lbs. 114lbs total, not just her as*. Yeah, I know.

We would all lose 25lbs in a quick minute if we constantly ate up the diet supplement known as Vitamin COKE and spent the day sweating like a pig from chasing relevancy. And Khloe's thighs only look like that because they were slathered with Photoshop jelly.
dlisted

 

[Aoedele]

Never seen that commercial, that was hot! Photoshopped or not, they both look amazing.

 

[farou7a]

dlisted makes me laugh!

 

[Kenysha75]

November 4th 2009 One Dollar Baby
The Kardashian family made dreams come true yesterday by lining up to get punched out by the luckiest people in the world. The Kardashians agreed to be human (mostly) punching bags for the sake of charity. The beat down party extravaganza, which was held at the Commerce Casino in CA, raised cash for the Dream Foundation.

It sounds like everything went according to God's plan, because Kim took a blow to the face and her brother Rob ended up in the hospital with a busted head. Kim wrote on her blog:

"When Rob stepped in the ring to fight, his opponent was at least 25 lbs heavier than him, even though the organization had assured us that they were screening the people we were fighting against and that they would be within 5 lbs of our weights! At one point Rob's mask fell off and when he put his hands down he got hit in the face and ended up in hospital with a concussion. Rob's a strong guy and can definitely hold his own, but he wasn't expecting to get hit after his mask had fallen off! This guy just got really down and dirty!

We were all really angry and upset about what had happened to Rob, but I hadn't even fought yet and I didn't want to let the charity down, so I decided to get in the ring. My girl was a good sport, but she was tough! I knew I had to do it for charity, since that's what it was all about, but man, my girl could throw a punch! Look at my black eye!!!

At the end of the day, we did this for charity and that's what counts. Rob is doing fine now and my black eye will be gone soon... I hope."

YES KIM, that black eye is absolutely Hostel-like. It's horrific. You better take out a restraining order against the eyeshadow brush that punched you out like that.

And I don't understand how Kim could've lost her bout with an as* like that. Homegirl's as* could easily become the heavyweight champion of the world. All she has to do is wiggle it just a little bit and it would've been an instant KO!

By the way, Khloe Kardashian dropped out at the last minute, because she was too scared. Something in the milk ain't clean about that. My guess is that Khloe's opponent figured out who she was fighting and immediately dug a hole out of that b*tch. Khloe could make us all blackout just by growling.
Dlisted

 

[farou7a]

seriously?

sh*t where was i when this was happening. id love to throw in a few punches!

 

[lady B]

Khloe is a size 6 ? Are you kidding ? .... no comment

 

[inhirnamy137]

She went to Life & Style supposely with NO Makeup..to prove to everyone that she had no Plastic Surgery..

(jjb.com)

I believe this NO makeup pic more

(topsocialite.com)

 

[brokenenglish]

The second pic is older right? She looks to me like she may have had cheek implants. Her cheeks have a wideness now that they never had before, like Madonna.

 

[inhirnamy137]

The second pic is older right? She looks to me like she may have had cheek implants. Her cheeks have a wideness now that they never had before, like Madonna.

Yeah the pic is older, I think she got cheek fillers

 

[msfelicia23]

wow, honestly i always thought he is never going to wife her.

I agree!!!