Chris Brown arrested and sentenced for domestic violence

[fashionista-ta]

Lets not blame hormones/nature for women propensity to be weak minded and victimized. From my readings all the research of oxytocin and its role on social behaviors have been in rats and other animals. Thus far scientists know only of its role in labor/breast milk stimulation in humans. Sure there might be some correlation between it and behaviors as in rats but nothing has been confirmed...

So instead we should blame the victim?

Your statement about what scientists know is definitely not my understanding (or experience), but perhaps you are an expert on this topic.

For people who are interested in understanding why logic doesn't win out in these cases, though, hormones like oxytocin are well worth looking into, in my opinion. The problem is not that women are stupid or weak-minded.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^still Rihanna has more to lose... including her sweet deal with GUCCI.

I'm a bit more concerned about her physical and emotional wellbeing than any sweet deal with Gucci or anyone else.

 

[fashionista-ta]

I'm just saying, if she was hoping to make a one-stop appearance on The O show to straighten this out...she's screwed now. That heavily female audience will not be pumping their fists for a woman who goes back to an abuser.

Well, I don't think she had anything to straighten out, until now. I imagine she would still be welcome on Oprah, but I agree that there would likely be some tough questions.

Just wanted to mention ... if this situation bothers you, reach out to the women who are leaving abusive men in your own community. Women's shelters need clothes, toys, food, household products, your volunteer time. Anything you'd need to set up housekeeping again from scratch, they need it. The women also need hugs, support, help with their resumes ... the list goes on.

 

[reese06]

As a fan, I'm really disappointed. She had this image of a woman that was in control, empowered, smart and confident but her going back to him really just contradicts everything that she sang about and put out there. I really think this will damage her career a lot.
This whole thing is such a touchy subject. While I do think that she probably hit him first, I don't think it was necessary for him to beat her to a pulp.

 

[LUXXX]

What she needs to straighten out is her mind, I don't think the people around her have dealt with the mental scarring. Which is why she is back in his arms...

It's clear that he was probably pushed to do all this by his crisis people. The less she looks like a sympathetic victim, the better his case will go.

 

[Zposen]

What she needs is for her mama to slap some sense into her..jk

 

[Kimkhuu]

So, they're now at the honeymoon phase
of the cycle of violence.........
SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!

I thought by now, since most people around
her new about the problem, they'd sort some
sense out of her........ Oh dear, another a
ttack waiting to happen, probably worse next
time.

REMORSE/HONEYMOON PHASE

*After the attack takes place, there
is a return to some sense of calmness.
The abuser may promise it will never
happen again, act apologetic and
loving and beg for forgiveness.

*Since their relationship has been
deteriorating, the abuser’s loving
behaviour is very important to the
victim. It reinforces the victim’s
hope that the abuser can change.

*Guilt also plays a role. The victim
feels responsible for her abuser’s
behaviour and the abuser’s future
welfare. For example, she may feel
that if she leaves, she’ll be breaking
up the home.

It doesn’t get better – it only gets
worse. The cycle cannot be broken
without outside help.

 

[Harumi]

For people who are interested in understanding why logic doesn't win out in these cases, though, hormones like oxytocin are well worth looking into, in my opinion.

Yes but then testosterone studies could be used as an explanation for r*pe and violent male behavior in general.
That doesn't really cut it in my opinion.
Even if we were so profoundly influenced by hormones their effects should be overrode by our instinct of survival. A dog know to stay away from its tormentors.
We as humans violate the laws of natures constantly. While I do not deny the role of biology in human behavior, upbringing and social pressures are far more influential factors imo.

The problem is not that women are stupid or weak-minded.

Absolutely not. But it is also true that women are far more likely to tolerate long-term abuse than men.

 

[Les_Sucettes]

I'm really disgusted with this, there are a lot of reasons why women go back to her abusers, but in her case is revolting, particularly when she knows that even if she doesn't like it, she became role model for a lot of women in her situation.
If a women that is loaded with the world at her feet goes back to her abuser, and decides to forgive something as horrible, I wonder what the battered women with kids that depends on her husband to live will think what her options are.
I never like Rhianna, I always thought she's was product of a type of culture I despise, but when this happened I sympathized and hoped for the best and really believed she was going to make a stand, but she just confirmed my initial bad the opinion of her.

 

[fashionista-ta]

Yes but then testosterone studies could be used as an explanation for r*pe and violent male behavior in general.
That doesn't really cut it in my opinion.
Even if we were so profoundly influenced by hormones their effects should be overrode by our instinct of survival. A dog know to stay away from its tormentors.
We as humans violate the laws of natures constantly. While I do not deny the role of biology in human behavior, upbringing and social pressures are far more influential factors imo.

Absolutely not. But it is also true that women are far more likely to tolerate long-term abuse than men.

I'm not saying hormones are an excuse, but they are a reason. Clearly there is a link between testosterone and violence. The overwhelming majority of violent crimes are committed by men.

I think it's helpful to understand what each one of us is up against in terms of hormones (and of course it does vary from person to person). If, for example, Rihanna fully understood why she felt like going back to Chris (and the fact that her father has no problem with this speaks volumes to me), I believe she would be much less likely to do it. There again, we are talking months if not years of work.

If you read Eckhart Tolle on the ego, one of the very most interesting things to me is that the interests of the ego (which includes all attachment to "me" and "mine") overrides our survival interests.

Reason almost doesn't come into it.

As far as dogs, it varies. I know of two dogs that lived in households with abusive men. One was once thrown across the room by the man, and the dog never turned its back on him again. If he was around, the dog was watching him. The dog even backed out of the room if it was leaving while the man was in it.

The other dog held no grudge at all after being beaten severely.

So it varies, but I would agree that quite often animals have more sense than we do. It would be quite rare for dogs, roosters, or whatever to fight to the death, for example--when they do it for so-called entertainment purposes , it's because it's a forced and artificial situation. Btw, women are not the audience that keeps these so-called sports in business.

PS I don't know if women are more likely to tolerate abuse than men or not--I suspect not. It's just that because of the physical disparity, the woman is far more likely to die as a result of her tolerance.

 

[LUXXX]

The photos of their little vacation of have been released, she has not been photo'd but he has on a jet-ski flexing for the paps...lord have mercy on these dummies.

 

[quimby]

Knowing the mentality of battered women, their propensity to forgive and their willingness to blame themselves, I think it couldn't have helped that so many media outlets only fed into that mentality. With so many people wondering what she did to provoke it, is it any wonder that Rihanna would also believe that she was at fault?

The fact that she went back to him is tremendously disheartening, but not surprising.

 

[Zposen]

The photos of their little vacation of have been released, she has not been photo'd but he has on a jet-ski flexing for the paps...lord have mercy on these dummies.

Please I wanna see these pics... Its rainy and dreary here on a saturday morning... I need a good laugh

What a fool

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ What many people don't seem to understand is that when you have the kind of anger that Chris clearly does, literally anything can set you off. The baby cries, the dog barks, the popcorn burns ... you name it. What the trigger was could not be any less important.

 

[XxpinktinksxX]

I'm really surprised that they are maybe back together. I can understand why Rihanna's wanted to do this though. I don't think you can understand unless you have been in that kind of position. What he did was of course totally out of order just totally awful and so sad. When you do really love someone with your entire heart you just don't want to lose them. I will say that he will probably no doubt do it again though sadly . They are always full of 'sorrys' and promise to 'never do it ever again'. They even cry when they have seen what they have done to you but yet they do usually do it again. I hope he's getting help that's a big step but that's obviously got something to do with carrer too. I know it's not totally official that they are back together but it looks like they are infact together at the moment.

 

[FASHIONLOVA]

As a fan, I'm really disappointed. She had this image of a woman that was in control, empowered, smart and confident but her going back to him really just contradicts everything that she sang about and put out there. I really think this will damage her career a lot.
This whole thing is such a touchy subject. While I do think that she probably hit him first, I don't think it was necessary for him to beat her to a pulp.

that s exactly what i ve been trying to say. thank u for this post. karma

 

[FASHIONLOVA]

I'm really surprised that they are maybe back together. I can understand why Rihanna's wanted to do this though. I don't think you can understand unless you have been in that kind of position. What he did was of course totally out of order just totally awful and so sad. When you do really love someone with your entire heart you just don't want to lose them. I will say that he will probably no doubt do it again though sadly . They are always full of 'sorrys' and promise to 'never do it ever again'. They even cry when they have seen what they have done to you but yet they do usually do it again. I hope he's getting help that's a big step but that's obviously got something to do with carrer too. I know it's not totally official that they are back together but it looks like they are infact together at the moment.

it s a vicious cycle because as u said they ALWAYS do it again, sooner or later. but after a fight and abuse, women tend to just want to hear sweet words and sorry and i promise am never gonna do it again. deep down they know that it will happen again, but they choose to believe that it won t.

and don t bash me for saying this, i know what am talking about

 

[saka]

I think Rihannas parents are to blame for her going back...her dad supports her choice to go back to Chris. wtf?! really stupid IMO

 

[saka]

Chris Brown Strikes the Pose

Chris Brown had a blast on a jet ski Thursday in Miami, where he's spending time with Rihanna -- the woman he allegedly beat just weeks earlier.

Chris -- who looks like he's recreating the wind up leading to the punch that left Rihanna bloodied and bruised -- doesn't seem to have a care in the world.

And here's an interesting tidbit -- Rihanna is being shadowed by one of Jay Z's beefy bodyguards.

tmz.com

 

[Zposen]

Her parents are obviously ridiculous... especially her dad, wtf?