Clothes as tools to mold your identity?

[Melisande]

Do your clothes honestly reflect who you feel you are right now, or do you use clothes consciously to mould your identity and/or moods?

For example, you may dress more professionally than you feel you actually are so that you can get ahead in your career, or more fashionably elite than you can afford to right now, to impress a group of people...on the other hand, you may rather dress to comfortably reflect your own lifestyle, moods and environment at the moment...
Other examples may be cheering yourself up by dressing up when you actually feel drab and old-sweatshirty...or dressing powerfully when you feel shy...

Has it inspired/helped you in any way to dress as if you're a "higher/different version of yourself" or living an alternate reality? What are some ways that you do this? Or does that feel pretentious to you?

 

[Estella*]

interesting topic, melisande.
i think i always look for something in clothes that reflects me, so i don't really own anything that isn't 'me' ... it's rather that i may have a different vision of what i am, every day

but i can relate to what you laid out there in a way of deciding to 'pull myself together' whenever i feel very low and that pulling myself together includes dressing carefully...

oh, well i don't know if i made any sense but i do want to hear about others

 

[Organic]

i absolutely dress how i want to feel...i understand what you're saying.

 

[fash ho']

that understanding of is 'you' takes time to develop, though.

i can remember many outfits/occasions when i have tried to conform, or experiment/push the envelope a bit and felt uncomfortable because i was going beyond what felt right.

one thing i have noticed recently is that my clothes/wardrobe doesn't seem to really fit my actual lifestyle. my jobs have always been in research or ngo's and yet my wardrobe has tons of impractical dresses and highheels which i don't get to wear often.

i need to go where the weather suits my clothes . . . .

 

[mazzystar]

part of the way i dress is on a purely aesthetic level - seeing an idea or shape or style that i think looks good and adapting into my wardrobe. however, another part of me dresses to reflect on an iconographic level what i'm into in terms of music, art, the way i think... it's not contrived or fake in any way, but it's certainly shallow and image driven as i want people to associate me with a certain lifestyle over others.

 

[tangerine]

Love the topic!

Taking the first sentence/choice, for me I think the two feed back into each other.

For the most part, I dress to reflect how I feel. On days that I don't feel very inspired I tend not to put as much effort into my outfit; I do not want to call attention to myself, even in my own mind!

From time to time, though, I feel bored, and make a conscious effort to change the way I am wearing my clothes, in order to live in an alternate reality, as you put it. I don't find this pretentious because it is one of my own alternate realities!

One example of me doing this is that recently I have shifted my "rock star" look more towards glam, mostly by dyeing my hair and wearing nail polish and eyeliner rather than by changing my clothes, but I have been sticking to the skinnier jeans in my collection and not wearing the vintage-fit ones.

I imagine that this could look pretentious since I am not in fact a performing musician but one of the things I like about my job is that I can pretty much wear whatever I want. It does not advance my career, but I feel better!

I am not sure I made any sense, either!

 

[Estella*]

^you did and let me just say i love your sneaky little change towards glam

that understanding of is 'you' takes time to develop, though.

i can remember many outfits/occasions when i have tried to conform, or experiment/push the envelope a bit and felt uncomfortable because i was going beyond what felt right.

i absolutely agree and i have to say that part of the merit that i don't do this anymore goes to this very site.

 

[ivypixie]

Absolutely! Style is about your indentity and individuality. I think that people can get a picture of who I am with seeing my clothes. BUT I'm quite sure who I am and secure of myself, so if I want to joke one day and wearing hip-hop-clothes, I don't feel bad, 'cause I know who I am and my style is very accomplished everyday, so it doesn't matter if i "freak out" like that once in a while, like a joke.

 

[susie_bubble]

I actually think my clothes give off the wrong impression of me. Obviously, I love everything I wear (wouldn't wear it otherwise). However people seem to think I'm very very extroverted just because my outfits are a little bit out there. They couldn't be more wrong!

I definitely dress to reflect a mood or capture a feeling I'm trying to convey via my outfit. It's not necessarily moods though - I may be trying to convey an image, evoke an inspiration. I do conscientiously think about these things! Call me pretentious if you like....

 

[tangerine]

Susie, I think that is the opposite of pretentious, since you are trying to express a feeling that you have or an image in your mind.

Pretentious would be copying someone else's expressed feeling or image, IMO.

I'm glad you posted, you are very original in your outfits and it's interesting to read what inspires you! And I admit, I would have thought you an extrovert, too. I should know better.

edit: oh, and thank you Estella!

 

[fashionista-ta]

Yes, I definitely do this ... an interview is a great example, I definitely think about what to wear on those occasions. I've also been known to wear something "happy" to cheer myself up. I sometimes have a bit of the same problem as Susie ... my clothes tend to make a statement, but I'm an introvert, and some days they get me more attention than I want. Usually, though, I enjoy the "conversation piece" aspect.

 

[Melisande]

Wow, it's exciting to get all this amazing feedback, and such a variety too. Thanks. It's kind of like the "did humanity create language or does language create humanity?" dichotomy. I think what you wear definitely has an effect on how you grow into your own identity.

I've been noticing that although I love softer, poetic clothes, they tend to bring out the dreamer in me...that is, I'd be more tempted to go on a picnic than work on my accounts! Whereas when I wear tailored clothes I actually become more efficient and constructive.

Anyone have similar experiences?

When I feel sick and really shouldn't push myself, I wear looser, warm clothing to feel more relaxed and healing, even to work. And once someone gave me a bright, colorful pair of pajamas...bright red, green, all this ...and I simply could NOT relax and get sleepy wearing such colors! Had to give it away.

Do you think one could really change one's life just by choosing to wearing different clothes?

 

[Melisande]

Tangerine I agree that it's not pretentious because it's one of your ownalternate realities...it's a real part of you. That was well put.

And Estella I'd have to agree that tFS really has helped me to be more unapologetic about my style.

Interesting to hear Susie and ta-ta that you are actually introverted but that your clothing tends to say otherwise...I think I know what you mean...if I had a choice I wouldn't want to stand out, but dressing intentionally to blend in would be being untrue to myself. Somewhere along the way I said if I just so happen to stand out being true to myself, so be it

 

[susie_bubble]

The thing is that I love what I love, and you're right, if I dressed otherwise, it would really be fake. I'm not dressing because I particularly want to stand out and have people looking at me all the time but mainly because I am passionate about the art of style.....

And I also agree with you about your outfit dictating what you are doing, how you are feeling, how it alters your expectations for the day.
I think I come off as having many different styles simply because from each outfit, I'm trying to get something different out of it. If I am feeling a bit whimsical and a bit like the day could go in any direction, then perhaps something very unexpected and overly extravagant.

Of course, I too have work but even then because of my relaxed dress code, I like to convey different things. A hobble pencil skirt and heels makes me feel like I can achieve more. A relaxed cashmere outfit probably means the day is going to be spent chatting away to clients on the phone and not getting much done...

Anyway...Melisande....an excellent topic and one that I have SO many thoughts on namely because I do get ppl asking me how I do I pick my outfits....... I am scared that when I start theorising everything too much, it then starts to sound really pretentious and overly narcissistic.

 

[Melisande]

I'm not dressing because I particularly want to stand out and have people looking at me all the time but mainly because I am passionate about the art of style.....

Amen! I think it totally shows, Susie. And glad to know that your outfits dictate your day to some extent as well!

Anyway...Melisande....an excellent topic and one that I have SO many thoughts on namely because I do get ppl asking me how I do I pick my outfits....... I am scared that when I start theorising everything too much, it then starts to sound really pretentious and overly narcissistic.

Your input is so much appreciated Susie...we beg you, theorize away! I think tFS is great because we don't think it's narcissistic or pretentious to discuss our style in depth; we understand that fashion and style is an art...and that artists are but humble servants to truth and beauty B) ...To me, few things are more exciting.

 

[gius]

That's the thing with appearance...

I think people usually see me as something different from what I am (based on how I look). And when I act like myself, they get uncomfortable or suspicious as if I'm changing moods all the time.

Right now I DO use clothes to MOULD an identity I wear darker colours and a more fitted silhouette, so that I look older I tend to look too young for my age. People still think I'm in high school. Well! That will change once I get more hair on my face.
I also wear brighter colours or softer fabrics if I'm supposed to meet someone. It makes me look more appealing and friendly maybe. Wow, I never noticed this!

On the other hand, my dressing could reflect how I really am. I could be wearing darker clothes most of the time as a sign that I'm reserved (which I am, around strangers). It's also a way for me to bring less attention to myself--for you see, when you're quiet, people always look at you. And people get surprised if I act differently, act not according to how I'm dressing/how I look.

 

[gius]

Also: I have to say it's really fun pretending you're someone else for a while.
I had a weird haircut one time and wore a studded jacket and I often got looks from people outside (particularly from people who looked like they like to go to parties and clubs).
Some people at school also talked to me a lot, making jokes, but at the end of the day I decided I didn't want to be too noisy, so I flattened my hair and wore "quiet" clothes for the next outing.

 

[fash ho']

one thing that i appreciate about getting 'older' is that you have the ability to relinquish (at least a little bit) the need to care so much about what other people think.

it takes a very charismatic (or 'eccentric') person to truly be beyond caring about others opinions but there is something very liberating about understanding the impact you may/may not have with your clothes and style and still choosing to express yourself truly.

of course there is always a 'gaze' and a 'recipient' and so expectations/stereotypes (unless you have live on a desert island or something) but you can realise that and go beyond it.

(who's pretentious now?!!!)

 

[Melisande]

Fash ho', it's really true about growing older, thank goodness.

I was discussing more about moulding your OWN identity...i.e."coaching" yourself into becoming a different person or coaxing out a certain part of you through what you choose to wear.

I think this has little to do with "moulding how OTHERS see you".

 

[fashionista-ta]

Wow, it's exciting to get all this amazing feedback, and such a variety too. Thanks. It's kind of like the "did humanity create language or does language create humanity?" dichotomy. I think what you wear definitely has an effect on how you grow into your own identity.

I've been noticing that although I love softer, poetic clothes, they tend to bring out the dreamer in me...that is, I'd be more tempted to go on a picnic than work on my accounts! Whereas when I wear tailored clothes I actually become more efficient and constructive.

Anyone have similar experiences?

When I feel sick and really shouldn't push myself, I wear looser, warm clothing to feel more relaxed and healing, even to work. And once someone gave me a bright, colorful pair of pajamas...bright red, green, all this ...and I simply could NOT relax and get sleepy wearing such colors! Had to give it away.

Do you think one could really change one's life just by choosing to wearing different clothes?

Yep, there are definitely clothes that I am more efficient in than others. Being comfortable makes a difference. Sometimes I dress up to make a statement for a meeting, but that often makes me less efficient for the remainder of the day.

Very interesting what you mention about sleep. I have found that it's very important for me to wear light colors to sleep in. Something like navy or maroon is very difficult for me to sleep in. Somehow its energy seems very heavy and inappropriate to sleep. Pastels, white, ivory are good ... and this goes for sheets too. All my sheets are white.

I also have a purple sofa, and use the color throughout my living room. I remember one time I had bookshelves delivered, and the guy came to a dead stop as he came in the front door, and said, I see you are a very spiritual person--purple is the most spiritual color. And from there we had a very interesting conversation about the Rothko chapel, etc.

I think you can change your life by changing your environment (feng shui), and the same is supposed to be true of handwriting, so clothes--sure, I can't see why not. I have not really tried to do this, but I do use clothes as a support system if you will.