How do you feel when strangers stare ? - questionaire

[William_St_Girl]

^^^ So where are you living now... and why would you want to leave Scotland.... maybe its the rubbish weather... raining again today!!!

I think when people stare in elevators its kinda funny... I have where to look issues in confined spaces like elevators and I bet people prob think I stare and dont mean to... ot be rude about it!

M

 

[Ksanochka Vanmra]

I'm living in the north of Spain, where I'm from. I lived in Glasgow for a year because I was studying and working there. And I didn't mind Scottish weather!

God... now I'm missing Scotland a lot again, lol.

 

[BerlinRocks]

do you hope to get stared at..? not really
do you love the attention..?? it depends who's looking at me and how
do you think that everyone who is looking at you probably thinks you're sincerely ? if i knew i could tell ...
do you strut down the street acting like it's a runway? not at all !
do you look people in the eye and check out what they are wearing too? ahah ... yeah sometimes ... but most of times i love when people are looking at me and then catching people's eyes and then look them straight in the eyes the most i can. but i've noticed people in france (and in the world in general) don't like at all being "watched" more than 5sec. ... it's weird. if they enjoy, smile. if they smile back. and the guy is hot ... throw him your number (always carry a visit card with you)
do you just strut and ignore everyone because it's all about YOU? not ! that's rude !
do you hate people looking at you? once again it depends who's looking at me !
do you wish you could just be invisible? oh sometimes yeah ! but not to be not 'stared at' but because i wanna 'stalk' people secretly ...
do you love checking out other people but wish no one would look at you? do you often repeat yourself ? read previous replies and think with your brain. i'm not gonna make all your job.
do you rush quickly from destination to destination to escape those prying eyes of strangers? heu ..... do you seriously think i'm a psycho-freak ? c'mone ! the person who does that has a serious problem !!
do you feel self-conscious-unsure of why people are staring? don't get the meaning of that question. that must be the language frontier ...
does it make you mad-*you lookin' at me...? oh yeah ! you mean a stranger saying this to me ? yeah it gets me mad ... because, like i said i love catching people's eyes ... so it's like a game. who's gonna say it first ... i never say it. i keep quiet. mom told me not to talk to strangers.
does it annoy you...*what?..what are you staring at?... yes because sometimes you obviously cannot say "heu sweetheart your LV is a fake !" or "Geez this a** !" ...
or are you completely oblivious and don't even notice it.... yeah sometimes it happens. people say those things and i keep walking. sincerely, who they think they are talking to ?

- that was fun. though i'm not sure who's gonna read this and analyse this. and what's the point of this. and if i correctly understood the last 3 questions.

 

[pucci_mama]

^

 

[nicestthing]

i really don't like when someone's staring at me. cannot explain. never know whether i look so good or so bad. hah. just feel uncomfortable knowing that someone's eyes are on my body/face/etc.

 

[minor keys]

when someone stares, i always smile back.... even if they're not so good looking!!

that's so funny...wish i could do that!

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ You can

 

[alyseinnit]

It's not as bad as when someone actually yells at you, which has happened to me a few times

 

[luluposh]

I tend not to stare at other people, rather I give someone a quick glance/once over. What I do however do when sat on the tube, or walking around Camden/Central London, is check out people's shoes
I've often been looking at someone's shoes and then sort of worked my way up quickly to glance at the person's face/outfit and caught them smiling, so I throw a smile back. I've met a number of guys like that

I get uncomfortable when I feel a person staring at me, and I especially get uneasy when I'm walking along minding my own business and someone says a random comment to me as they are walking past. This has happened more than once in a sort space of time, both back home in Cape Town and in London with older guys who may think that saying such comments will get them somewhere

 

[Melisande]

I thought I'd gotten expert at ignoring the stares I've gotten all my life, but my new neighborhood has proven me wrong. I'm not stared at, but gaped at daily like there's no tomorrow. Heads turning en masse and mouths literally hanging open. It's so distressing that I never enter restaurants and cafes in this area anymore, or even stand in line at delis.

Fortunately, a Brazilian male model/designer also living in the area found and befriended me and now we feel a lot better. He had felt the same; two eccentrics is better than one.

But I'm sooo moving out.

 

[mmBop]

Oh, I hate when people are staring at me.. I mean don't they have anything better to do?
And I feel so uncomfortable and my face gets red(it blush) because of it, this is really annoying.

 

[mellowdrama]

Satre's Being & Nothingness, the Spark Notes edition, again:

Delving into the ways individual beings-for-itself relate to one another, Sartre argues that we, as human beings, can become aware of ourselves only when confronted with the gaze of another. Not until we are aware of being watched do we become aware of our own presence. The gaze of the other is objectifying in the sense that when one views another person building a house, he or she sees that person as simply a house builder. Sartre writes that we perceive ourselves being perceived and come to objectify ourselves in the same way we are being objectified. Thus, the gaze of the other robs us of our inherent freedom and causes us to deprive ourselves of our existence as a being-for-itself and instead learn to falsely self-identify as a being-in-itself.

http://www.sparknotes.com/philosophy/sartre/section2.rhtml

Also, note, have you ever been accused of staring, when you're actually just looking in the middle distance, not really noticing the person who claims you're staring, points out your rudeness, or responds positively to a falsely perceived come-on, etcetera? There is so much projection, you see. You can't pretend to know what others are thinking when you're in their gaze. I guess the lonely will play that game, "Ah, I'm getting attention, and you fit my bill, let's place our genitals together in a pleasing conformation", but my, doesn't it get tiresome after awhile? I guess not, tee hee.

Go ahead, stare. It's like facing two mirrors against each other.

 

[666tubeamp]

Interesting thread. It's similar to the one regarding judgement [under the Personal Style section] that I posted on the other day. I won't repeat my whole spiel, 'cause it was a bit long [] so I'll just mention that I sometimes wear leather pants. Really, in the grand scheme of things, and this day in age, that's not really a big deal, right? I used to think it wasn't but jeeze, some of the stares that I've gotten lately suggest otherwise.

Anyway, I'm wondering if others sometimes find that their confidence to step out of the mold of society, even just a bit, comes and goes? My confidence certainly seems to be low now, for some reason...

 

[Katie123]

every time i go back home i get super stared at. even just by wearing something high-waisted. then i become really self conscious and moody haha

 

[hautechild]

I live in London, but when I go back to visit my parents in their little town I usually get stared and end up feeling overdressed. But the "style" there is so boring and awful.

 

[William_St_Girl]

If people stare... they stare... I think I stare myself at times if I see someone with an outfit I like... although there is never envy with me it's just an appreciation of a nicely put together outfit... just as i'd stare at a picture if I seen one!

I guess if a stranger stares its for a few reasons...

1. They simply fancy you... Male or Female? Which yeh might not be a good thing depending on your status and who they are!!!

2. They are jealous of what you are wearing!!! If that's the case well I tend to enjoy the attention... I like the fact others see me as an insperation or in therms of if they are jealous want to be me! That makes me feel good about me... because it must be good to be me in their eyes. I think I can say that as I'm happy being me... I'd hate to dislike myself!

3. You are outrageous in their eyes... which we all think of others depending on our social and ethocal positions in life... that's just human nature!

So basically... dont worry about it... and in a way enjoy it!!!!

 

[nijuyanah]

when someone stares, i always smile back.... even if they're not so good looking!!

I do that too. Actually, I always smile whenever someone is looking at me. Be it in an obvious, "staring" way or just randomly. Dunno why... I just like other people to be friendly so I try to be friendly aswell.
And if someone stares at you, analyzing every part of your outfit/ body and you just smile, I noticed that all of them turn away immediately

 

[softgrey]

most of our long time members have already responded to this thread with some great answers...

might be fun to get some responses from our newer members if anyone cares to give it a go...

 

[models_vlada]

i'll give a go ahaha lol

Honestly, when people are staring at me, i get really uncomfortable, but it all depends on how they are looking. Right now i'm college student, and my university it's pretty much like a high school, it has like 2.000 students and of that 200 are on exchange, so everyone knows with everyone, and although you don't believe there is a lot gossip and bullying of word between some of the students. So when someone is staring at me, if it's a girl i think maybe i caught her atenttion, if it's a boy and they are talking, i instantly think they are bothering me because maybe i look too gay sad but true. ahahaha.
So i don't have that much of freedom to freely dress.

And what bothers me the most, it's when a boy stares at me for a long while, and i turn my head to look, and then the boy quickly turns his head... so i'm curious why he was looking.

 

[softgrey]

i have discovered that sunglasses and earphones work wonders when one begins to feel conspicuous...

even if i see or hear people...
i can pretend i don't...
and that makes me feel like i have the power...


one time i was walking home from the doctor at 10:30 am...
i say this because i was obviously not in some sexy number early in teh morning at the doctor's office...
i was wearing blk shorts, a silk top, and some sandals...
with HUGE sunglasses...

i noticed out of the corner of my eye a guy in a suit across the street actually stop in his tracks...
hug his briefcase to his chest...and just openly gape at me as i walked passed him down the block...
with some sort of look of awe and admiration on his face...
he was just ga-ga...
...

honestly...i was totally creeped out!.........
but i had my glasses on so i could totally pretend that i was oblivious and that it wasn't really happening...
but, truly...it felt as though i might as well have been walking down the street naked...
......
it was weird...
i wasn't flattered at all...