The skin you're in ...

[StellaMare]

I love this thread. I wish I could contribute with something as wise as fashionista-ta up there but in terms of being comfortable in my skin, bien dans ma peau as the french would say, I have a long way to go.

 

[LoveBug]

Self image is an issue that so many people are dealing with that I am surprised there isnt more emphasys on it in schools/work places. I dont remember dealing with this when I was younger but now at 27 years of age I find myself spending too much time infront of the mirror before I head out! For me it doesnt even has to do with the body image only but with the image I portrait to others personality wise. I find myself too often questioning myself "why did I say that?why didnt I do that".
I have a question for you:are you happy with who you are right now? Because I am still not the person I wanna be...

xoxoxox

 

[LoveBug]

Until recently I tought that if you are not very intelligent and educated you are not worthy of a big dose of self esteem. twisted ey?
I got good days most of the time and I try my day not to be influenced by the outward world and just keep a constant positive attitude no matter what happens around me.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ I am ... but it has taken a long time and a lot of work to get there When I look back at how far I've come, I can hardly believe it. (I would describe for you the twit I used to be so you could be amazed too, but that would be too depressing for all of us ) I will be 42 in a few months ... so it is a process And I think a little discontent with who you are may not be a bad thing as it pushes you to do and be better. Back when, I didn't know where I was going, but I was sure I needed to make some changes and end up far from where I started.

The good news is, humanity as a whole is evolving and growing at an unprecedented rate, so if you want to join it, there's huge momentum behind you.

Just remember to balance any criticism of yourself with deep appreciation for all the things you're doing right, and all the progress you've made.

 

[fashionista-ta]

Until recently I tought that if you are not very intelligent and educated you are not worthy of a big dose of self esteem. twisted ey?
I got good days most of the time and I try my day not to be influenced by the outward world and just keep a constant positive attitude no matter what happens around me.

What is intelligence? What is education?

You might enjoy Martha Beck's book Expecting Adam. She and her (ex-)husband were grad students at Harvard when she learned she was carrying a Down's baby. It's a fascinating book, and Adam is a spectacular person. This book does a fantastic job of asking and answering these two questions.

I think what you say about positive attitude regardless really is the key to everything. Being a victim can be really tempting, but I find that creating your own positive experience from the inside out is exponentially more rewarding.

 

[saturnine]

Do you have any more book recommendations Fashionista-ta? I've already looked into the others you suggested.

To answer your question, LoveBug; I have grown to like who I am, and like Fashionista, believe I've come a long way, but there is still a lot to learn/do, especially with accepting my physical self, and truly loving myself.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ I am always good for a book recommendation

Eckhart Tolle's Practicing the Power of Now is great. Tell me what kind of book you want ...

 

[Guessgirl96]

Everyone in this thread seems so... balenced, if thats the right word, and in control of their life. I am always worried about too many things and stressed out. I hope I can find that balence one day.

Prabably more than anything right now is getting into med school. First semester I did great, this semester not bad but not as well as I need to. I'm going to try harder and I think I can do it, but what do I do if I cant? Also oddly enough money, I spend way too much and would like to feel like I'm more in control of it. I constantly feel guilty about how much my brother supports me monetarily and otherwise, but theres so little I can do in return. I dont think even he realizes just how much he does for me and how amazing he is to everyone in his life. And I worry about other relationships in my life. Also the short term, what I have to do that day or that week, I always have too much stuff to do but never get around to all of it.

I feel that once I catch up with everything I've been putting off it'll be easier to keep up and my life will feel more organized. This summer I'm hoping to do it. I tell myself that once I have a solid wardrobe I wont be as tempted by clothes, theres only so much designers can think of right? And that I'll be more prepared for classes in the future since this semester was the first where I had to work hard and kind of a reality check. I guess have high expectations for myself in just about every way and worry about meeting them. I try to be a good, responsible person everyday and I think thats all I can really do. I've always been optamistic and I think things will fall into place, but I cant help but worry. I hope it wont give me wrinkles

 

[Guessgirl96]

To stay more on topic, once thing I've really noticed helps me have a good attitude is cleanliness. My environment reflects on how I feel, so if my home is disorganized it makes it that hard to stay organized with other things. Just another thing to add stress. And if it's clean, I feel like I accomplished something. My apt is good for the most part except for that my friend needs constant reminders to clean up after himself. I just need to get to my car and eventually storage room.

 

[dumbfairy]

Guessgirl,I can relate to so much of what you have written.

It's too easy to let things pile up. At the moment I feel like I have no control over anything in my life. I'm trying to do 22 hours of work plus 18 hours of study a week,and I feel like I can't cope. But I know I'm going to wake up one morning soon and I'll sort everything out Starting with an essay I've been putting off for a good 6 weeks,and now only have 8 days to start and complete. So until the day that I get my butt organised again,I'm going to feel like panic central on the inside. Slightly off topic,but if I don't make my bed in the morning,I'm disorganised for the rest of the day,no idea why (Having said that,my room in general looks like a bomb has hit in)

 

[Milfbutsingle]

I am learning more about myself everyday by being "aware". I try to really live in the moment. I know this is cliche but it really helps me a lot. I also try and think positive thoughts, etc...all of those things that seem hard to do but just take daily practice. I am thinking about studying Buddhism.. I would really also like to meditate daily but Im not there yet. I know it would be great though. sigh

 

[Crying Diamonds]

however much water you drink each day- double it...at least...

AMEN to that.

My tutor put a poster up on the wall informing about the effects of dehydration - bad concentration, incapability to do simple maths, fatigue - these all described how I was every day at college. I was also miserable.
So now I drink gallons of the stuff and I feel so much better.
I'm not joking - it really is the cure for those things listed above.


Anyway - I'm not pleased with the physical skin that I'm in, but my physical skin barely concerns me. I like clothes to be comfortable but I like to constantly feel that they are there - tight belts and soft textures.
I'm generally happy with myself and anything I do I manage to excuse as part of my strange personality.
I change a lot - views, opinions, thoughts, ideas are always changing so everything can always be new.
I'm very comfortable in my mind.
Other people concern me.

 

[softgrey]

water for the reasons mentioned above...
i drink a big glass with lemon juice along with my coffee in the morning
and i keep drinking it all day.

music...as explained by several people already.
It's a constant source of energy and inspiration,
particularly when you stumble across something new.

exercise...at least 45 minutes of aerobic activity, ideally early in the day.
It really makes the skin glow and is both energizing and relaxing.
There are few things that make me feel as physically good, especially if i'm down
or under the weather.

reading...exercise for the mind and imagination.
I am constantly reading because of my work
but i try to spend at least an hour a day with something unrelated,
usually fiction or art-related writing.

nice thread, softie.

i really need to exercise more...
we probably all do...
but i am especially lazy about it...
probably because i have been lucky all my life and not really ever had any sort of issues...plus i have an active lifestyle...
but at a certain age...just watching what you consume is not enough...
and exercise really is one of the keys to living a long and healthy life...

plus- i just feel stronger and more connected to my body when i am using my muscles, etc...
dancing is great for this as well...

great tip laika!...
thanks!

 

[Guessgirl96]

I agree exercise makes me feel good and gives me energy, but like soft I am so lazy about it. I've been slowly getting into hang of it again but when school gets too much it's the first thing to go. My brother has really gotten into dance after taking classes for his wedding which has encouraged me to do it too. The actual classes are hard and frustrating but if feels good that I'm doing it since it's something I wanted to learn for a while.

Reading is something I've started up again as well after my friend started recommending books. Sometimes I listen to books while excersizing killing two birds with one stone. I've been reading all sorts of stuff, I feel like it makes me a more well rounded person and gives me something to talk about as well.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ Alas, my favorite place to read is curled up on the couch I think there's a term for that I did walk one of my dogs today though.

 

[softgrey]

i think that's a great way to relax...
but sometimes you need to feel energized as well...
so i think it's good to try to establish that balance...

i mean...
in the end...
isn't that what we are all ultimately seeking...?!
*a well-balanced life?...

otherwise it just feels like you're juggling all the time...
OY!......

.........

 

[Melisande]

Guessgirl, it's so true what you write about cleanliness. Sometimes I think there may well be magic behind it . I also love to read and listen to audio books at bedtime. I don't know if I could listen to books while exercising though...I hear it is important to focus on your breathing and muscles while exercising. Doing so makes exercise more effective and makes it a form of meditation, so maybe those two particular birds!

Ta-ta, Expecting Adam is such a fascinating book. Really eye-opening.

I also used to be a completely different person ten years ago...I simply cannot believe that sad person was me, hee hee !
I think feeling good in your skin comes with experience, a zero-blame attitude, and constantly striving towards the light, even when it seems far and dim. Meditation & knowledge helped me a lot.
As for morning feel-good routines, I do my yoga breathing and meditation; I wish I had time to exercise, that's also great. I also like to read/listen to inspiring people before I start the day, look at inspiring photos, and listen to inspiring music.

 

[fashionista-ta]

^ You just changed the part of your post I was going to respond to

I also do breathwork as part of my 'meditation' ... and also throughout the day if I start to feel stressed. (Where I used to work I had to get up & walk upstairs a lot, and I'd do breathwork on my way.) It's not really traditional meditation and it's not exactly prayer, I just kind of put a label on it What I've done is just kind of rolled my own practice with a little bit of this & that

The breathwork technique I use is to take a breath as deeply as I can & completely expand my ribcage. When I started learning this technique I realized that it felt like I was wearing an iron corset. I've gotten rid of that now ... And then the second part is to let the breath out all at once (not forcing it out). The in breath is receiving, and the out breath is releasing. I also use this if I find myself hanging onto anything negative, I use the breathwork to release it every time it comes up. In this way, you can really heal yourself.

saturnine, you were asking about books ... if you haven't already read it, Eat, Pray, Love is very accessible & a great read. I'm really looking forward to her new book, which is about marriage.

 

[Melisande]

^ You just changed the part of your post I was going to respond to

I also do breathwork as part of my 'meditation' ... and also throughout the day if I start to feel stressed. (Where I used to work I had to get up & walk upstairs a lot, and I'd do breathwork on my way.) It's not really traditional meditation and it's not exactly prayer, I just kind of put a label on it What I've done is just kind of rolled my own practice with a little bit of this & that

The breathwork technique I use is to take a breath as deeply as I can & completely expand my ribcage. When I started learning this technique I realized that it felt like I was wearing an iron corset. I've gotten rid of that now ... And then the second part is to let the breath out all at once (not forcing it out). The in breath is receiving, and the out breath is releasing. I also use this if I find myself hanging onto anything negative, I use the breathwork to release it every time it comes up. In this way, you can really heal yourself.

saturnine, you were asking about books ... if you haven't already read it, Eat, Pray, Love is very accessible & a great read. I'm really looking forward to her new book, which is about marriage.

Oh no, so sorry!! Was it the part about taking full responsibility? I thought it may be misunderstood to mean you must blame yourself, so I changed it... I think responsibility is key. I'd love to hear what you were about to say.

Your breathwork sounds fascinating!! I actually do feel an iron corset when I expand my ribs . How did you manage it, was it just a matter of practice?? My yogic breathwork is more structured, it involves 25 minutes of various yogic breath techniques, but it's great how yours can be practiced anywhere. I agree, breath is powerfully healing. I love how you describe the breath as receiving/releasing; I've always thought of it as energizing/relaxing, which may be similar after all.

 

[saturnine]

saturnine, you were asking about books ... if you haven't already read it, Eat, Pray, Love is very accessible & a great read. I'm really looking forward to her new book, which is about marriage.

I have read that, thanks! Didn't know she had a second book in the works though.

There are so many amazing books out there that have helped and changed me, I guess I just always am searching for another one.

I would strongly recommend Psycho-cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz, to anyone; it's relevant in two ways to this thread, as it's written by a former plastic surgeon, in the vein of changes to your physicality do not change your mental state. It goes deeper than that, it's a powerful book, I think.

My biggest dilemma in life is finding out what I want to do in it, or what I'm passionate about. Or maybe that's a lie, and I need to harness the courage and confidence to DO what I want.