Karl Lagerfeld (March 2010 - December 2012)

[Kenysha75]

Tuesday, December 7th 2010 Blake Lively Has Sold Her Soul To Kunty Karl

Deep down in Karl Lagerfeld's sprawling dungeon lies a mason jar filled with smoke that sort of smells like overmicrowaved instant oatmeal and steamed broccoli. When you shake the jar, it mumbles like a half-asleep drunk who just got a root canal. That jar is labeled BLAKE LIVELY, because she just signed her soul over to Kunty Karl in exchange for the starring role in Chanel's next ad campaign! And Kunty Karl will wash his hair with Blake's soul later on to keep it looking as gleaming white as the fangs on the devil's as*hole! Lightning crash!

A source tells E! Online that Blake was recently in Paris shooting ads for Chanel's line of handbags. The ads will come out early next year.

I realize that Blake is the new shi* and Anna Wintour's lips are temporarily stuck to her as*, but they got the WRONG Lively. If any Lively deserves a Chanel campaign it's Teen Witch herself Robyn Lively. They don't even have to shoot the campaign. I did all the work for them:

TOP THAT!
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[Kenysha75]

Kunty Karl Finally Speaks Out About The Galliano Situation

John Galliano sort of, not really apologized in a statement for being a drunken, belligerent mess in public, but he denies that he's an anti-Semite. Galliano used the "BUT SHE STARTED IT!" excuse and says that the allegation that he called someone a "dirty Jew face" is false. But Captain Hook's second cousin twice removed from the flat iron didn't talk about the video of him giving the Hitler salute with his tongue.

The full statement is here for your eye-rolling pleasure, but the real shi* you should spend your time with is Kunty Karl's slappity slap slap to Galliano's face. But Galliano is up first:

Since the events of last Thursday evening I have not been able to make any public comment on what took place based upon advice from my French lawyer. However, given the continuing delays at the French Prosecutor's Office I should make my position clear.

I completely deny the claims made against me and have fully co-operated with the police investigation.

A number of independent witnesses have given evidence and have told the police that I was subjected to verbal harassment and an unprovoked assault when an individual tried to hit me with a chair having taken violent exception to my look and my clothing. For these reasons I have commenced proceedings for defamation and the threats made against me.

However, I fully accept that the accusations made against me have greatly shocked and upset people.

I must take responsibility for the circumstances in which I found myself and for allowing myself to be seen to be behaving in the worst possible light.
Story continues below

I only have myself to blame and I know that I must face up to my own failures and that I must work hard to gain people's understanding and compassion. To start this process I am seeking help and all I can hope for in time is to address the personal failure which led to these circumstances and try and earn people's forgiveness.

I have fought my entire life against prejudice, intolerance and discrimination, having been subjected to it myself. In all my work my inspiration has been to unite people of every race, creed, religion and sexuality by celebrating their cultural and ethnic diversity through fashion. That remains my guiding light.

Anti-semitism and racism have no part in our society. I unreservedly apologise for my behaviour in causing any offence.

And here's Kunty Karl doing what he does best. Without commercial interruption!

"I’m furious, if you want to know. I’m furious that it could happen, because the question is no longer even whether he really said it. The image has gone around the world. It’s a horrible image for fashion, because they think that every designer and everything in fashion is like this. This is what makes me crazy in that story. The thing is, we are a business world where, especially today, with the Internet, one has to be more careful than ever, especially if you are a publicly known person. You cannot go in the street and be drunk — there are things you cannot do... I’m furious with him because of the harm he did to LVMH and [chairman and ceo] Bernard Arnault, who is a friend, and who supported him more than he supported any other designer in his group, because Dior is his favorite label. It’s as if he had his child hurt."

I absolutely love that the strings of dried human tears on Kunty Karl's taint aren't melting because of what Galliano said, they're melting because of what he's doing to the fashion industry! THINK OF THE FASHION INDUSTRY! It's like if someone kicked a kitten and blood splattered on his new shoes. The first thing he'd shout out is: "MY SHOOOOES!" The cun* stays c*nty, and I love it.

Just add Galliano to the pile of things that Kunty Karl hates including: children, fat people, Harry Potter, Muggles in general, smiles, sunlight, flowers, oxygen and (enter everything that's found in a Disney movie here).

And this just in, Le Parisien (via HuffPo) reports that he will be tried for making a racial slur in public. Galliano could get up to 6 months in prison if convinced. Oh, I hope Kunty Karl is called as a character witness. Imagine him fanning himself on the stand...
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[Boomer]

Karl can really pick em- Lady Amanda is still a damned attractive woman!! I'll bet she is upset about John, too- didn't she start out with him?

 

[Kenysha75]

Friday, August 21st 2009 Open Post: Hosted By Karl Lagerfeld And His Hot Hos

Let's see, if you want two hot pieces to follow you around wherever you go, you have to do the following: sell your soul to the devil so you can age 300 years without dying, get a vampire/zombie hybrid to turn you, get a job making millions of dollars selling overpriced shi* and dress like an old-timey piano player who happens to be a major Cher fan. Hmmm. Seems easy. I better get to work!

Here's the Crypt Keeper of FABULOUSNESS with two walking sex sticks in St. Tropez yesterday.
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[tentalicious]

For the current issue of V Spain, Karl Lagerfeld speaks to model-turned-singer Baptiste Giabiconi.

KL I am calling too early?
B On Monday morning everything is too early. I am in a bad mood when I wake up and on Mondays it’s worse.
KL So it may not be the moment to ask you a few questions for the interview going with the photos we did the other night in Paris.
B It depends on the question.
KL You know VSpain is doing an ABC issue and you are B.
B I hope not B List
KL No, no ! You are B because you are Baptiste. The questions are mostly about your new career in the music world—after you became, very quickly, No.1 in the modeling world.
B Two different worlds….
KL I thought music and fashion were never so connected?
B Michel Gaubert the famous DJ—sound-stylist as you call him—told you that?
KL After all, he is the first who put your voice on a CD and that is how it all started? Now you are a professional singer and performer (a very good one) and with one song you did more than many people do with several albums. Your song is called “Showtime.” In France when you pronounce “show” it means “hot”—and you seem to be pretty hot just now after such a short time.
B I am working on my first album in London with Peter Martins. Its also in English.
KL How is your English?
B Improving—and even better in London and New York or LA where I don’t have any other choice.
KL In France they know you from your charming southern accent. Very Marcel Pagnol.
B Our home near Marseille is in a street named after him. I am proud to be a Corsican from Marseille and my family comes always first.
KL Apparently for a young man of your age you made quite a lot of money.
B Things can still improve but I don’t sing only to become richer. Since I was a child I always wanted to sing.
KL And fashion and modeling?
B I knew nothing about all that. I had vaguely heard your name and know how you looked.
KL Very flattering. I hope you were not too disappointed when you met me nearly 3 years ago?
B How do you want me to answer that? You have other questions? (Moody Monday….)
KL In terms of look some people say you are kind of the new David Bowie.
B Very flattering. He is one of my idols. But I don’t want to be the new somebody else—I only want to be Baptiste Giabiconi!
KL You think your great looks and elegant, athletic, and flexible body helped you in the beginning of your new musical career?
B It helps certainly on stage and on TV but it does not give you a better voice.
KL You are lucky to be so handsome and have a beautiful voice.
B But a voice alone is not enough either—you need also great songs. You should write me a song.
KL I am not sure I am the right person for that but I will try… after the collections. What I also like about you is this total freedom and ease you have with your perfect body.
B Why should I have problems? People tell me all the time what a great body I have. Somebody told me I was the most handsome Frenchman since Alain Delon. You end up believing these kind of things (laughs), I see it also in photos. They are not all photoshopped today… Lets hope all that will last. As I don’t smoke, don’t drink and don’t take drugs it may last a little longer. I know for the music and fashion world it’s not that usual….
KL The modeling career too?
B I never stopped modeling. Fashion shoots, advertising, TV spots, etc.
KL I am flattered you walked in my Chanel shows.
B You don’t have to be flattered, you were the first to put me there. You know, I am not so ambitious. I only want to have a good time and make people happy with my music. Am I asking for too much?
KL Too early to answer that question but I am sure it will work out the way you want things to happen in the future. We have not talked about fashion and clothes.
B I am my own stylist. I have the feeling I found my “image” quite quickly.
KL In France and Germany people recognize you already in the streets and in public places.
B I hate to be an “unidentified player” as they call the people they can’t recognize in movies.
KL Do you want to become an actor?
B Why not? But not right now—my music first and then we will see.
KL I’ll let you go back to bed.
B Too late, you woke me up with your questions.
KL Sorry for that….
B “Grosses Bises”
KL That sounds so much warmer than the other word in french “J t’embrasse” or the overuse of the English word “love”!
B We, the people from the south, are warmer. You told me, “Chaud time !!!!” (laughs and hangs up)

[via vmagazinespain.com]

 

[NakedIfIWantTo]

Karl is flattered and hung up on by the Baptiste?!

 

[Gloria01]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isFnTNjR81w

 

[KKnardi]

KL Very flattering. I hope you were not too disappointed when you met me nearly 3 years ago?
B How do you want me to answer that? You have other questions? (Moody Monday….

 

[Drumm09]

How does Karl keep it together? Has he ever had any public breakdowns?

Nope. No public breakdowns of any kind. None that have been documented anyway. It's interesting talking about this, because I am not sure if Karl's undocumented breakdowns is the result of a personal choice or just the way Karl's personality works.

He has always been a voyeur of people and culture, watching things from afar never really getting too close.

I remember reading an interview with now deceased illustrator Antonio Lopez. In the interview he talks about his friendship with Karl in the late 60's and 70's and how Karl would pay for everyone's dinner and go clubbing with his entourage. But while everyone was in the floor dancing, drinking or ***please see tFS community rules***, Karl would sit back by himself with his glass of Coca Cola and ice cubes, and watch the scene from afar. Watching everything going on around him. Not that he didn't have anything against ***please see tFS community rules*** or promiscuity, but he didn't want to be a part of that lifestyle.

In the VICE interview he did last year he talks how he understood, from an early age, what would work and what would not work for him. Like Boomer said, seeing how his friend YSL fell off a cliff with his crazy 'lifestyle' and behavior, Karl didn't want to be a part of that..

So no, no public breakdowns, a la Galliano, of any kind. He certainly is once interesting character. A real study in perpetual motion.

 

[Kenysha75]

Kunty Karl & Friends

Kunty Karl showed his new line of wispy cobweb gowns for Chanel in a cave under a volcano in Mordor today, and the best part of the show was when he slithered off of his throne of bones and braved the flashes from cameras to pose with admirers like Lily Allen, Florence Welch, Clemence Poesy, and Emma Roberts. They crawled through the tundra for miles to get a picture with the exquisite demon whose mop of bone dust threads holds the broken dreams of 12-year-old models in its tips. It's sort of like that time Perseus traveled from afar to slay Medusa. But instead of chopping Kunty Karl's head off (which is totally impossible for a mortal to do, by the way), they just want to pose with him like he's the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus or the old timey hos at Knott's Berry Farm.

Seriously, some say that designing $1,200 t-shirts out of caterpillar skins is Kunty Karl's specialty, but I say it's posing with random people. Ghoulfriend is good at that shi*! Karl really needs his own mall tour. I'd wait in line with the other screaming brats and babies to get a picture on Kunty Karl's lap. I wouldn't even mind if Karl stuck his nose in my ear to see if my brain is the type of consistency he likes to nibble on.
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[myown]

who is the tattooed girl with him?

 

[Tony Fersen]

She's "Coeur de Pirate", a singer from Quebec who is also successful in France.

 

[Boomer]

D Listed sure spends a lot of time writing about Karl if they have such a low opinion of him... They are demode, they bore me... B)

 

[heyworld]

Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Dkammern]

that interview between karl and "B" is worse than choking to a full spoon of flour!

good lord! they speak as if they didnt know each other, praising baptiste for his success as if they didnt know that it's all because of karl (being rich, well paid, having "his own style", walking the chanel shows, recording a CD....)

i'm loosing faith in karl. i know this might get me expelled from this sacred church... i mean thread!!
but really this has gone to far!

please! please someone get baptiste drunk and saying nasty thing in front of a recorder!!!

 

[Boomer]

^ I still don't believe that interview is real...

 

[KKnardi]

^me neither...

 

[skalty]

Numéro 121 March 2011

Bal de la couture

Photo : Karl Lagerfeld
Styling : Capucine Safyurtlu
Hair : Sam McKnight
Make-up : Peter Philips
Nail : Anny Errandonea
Models : Freja Beha Erichsen & Arizona Muse





my scans

 

[sethii]

Interview with Markus Lanz

 

[Psylocke]

^Currently watching this and laughing so hard! Isn't he amazing?! Hahahah.