Angelina Jolie Is Absolutely And Massively Pregnant
Hey! Do you fancy Angelina Jolie? Apart from the way she looks and pouts, you probably think she’s pretty edgy and different to all the other celebrities. She isn’t. She’s got pregnant, just like the rest of the bores.
That’s right! She’s got a thing growing inside her! Seen her supping cans of super strength beer recently? That’s because she’s preggo.
And it has been coming a while now. Brad Pitt and Jolie have been dropping hints about wanting to add to their tedious brood, and everyone thought they were oh-so-clever for joking that they’d probably steal an orphan from Africa. Alas, not. They’ve been having sex without a condom on and now she’s going to grow her own.
A source close to Jolie, no longer a weirdo, has
revealed that Angelina is expecting her seventh child and telling friends she can’t wait to play
mom again.
The source says:
“She’s almost three months along. It’s not something she wants to officially announce but she’s at a point where she is telling a select group of people.”
Regrettably, one of the select few has gone and blabbed to a motormouth and they’ve told us, who can’t keep a secret to save our lives (apart from those secrets we have which have injunctions on them, which is really, really irritating).
Adds an insider:
“Angelina is really savoring every moment. she’s having a tough time with morning sickness but says it’s all worth it.”
Apparently, Ange has said this as well, though christ knows when and where:
“I love being pregnant. You feel like more like a woman than you’ve ever felt. You just feel like everything about your body is there for your baby.”
There you have it folks! Want to feel like a woman? Don’t listen to Shania Twain’s ‘Man! I Feel Like A Woman’, but rather, adopt a parasite.