Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie News **Update Confirmed to be Engaged**

[Child_in_time]

Apparently they decided not to come to Dubrovnik after all because of huge media pressure, the reporters have gone nuts trying to find them (the two did well in keeping it low key - thus very few photos surfaced), instead they landed in Tivat (Montenegro). Reason for their visit in B&H was trying to look into the problem of displacement of people caused by war.

 

[Lamia]

The media here were crazy to catch them.In the hotel where they stayed the manager told that they were so nice,down to earth,they didn't ask for anything extra,and they promised that they will come back with their kids because they loved it here.Bred even said that he has special feelings for Montenegro because he shot his first movie here.

They even went alone from place they stayed to the airport and drove around the town,without any security,just he and Angelina alone in the car.

 

[NakedIfIWantTo]

^awww, I just love them.

 

[Kenysha75]

Well, We Know Who Is On Team Aniston

UNHCR goodwill ambassador Angie Jo and Billy Goat Brad visited Bosnia yesterday in their continuing efforts to highlight the plight of over one hundred thousands people who haven't been able to return to their homes even though the Bosnian war ended 15 years ago.

Angie Jo and Billy Goat played with a few kids in the village of Medjedja, and also hung out with these two sisters. While Babic Lena was happy to share a smile with Angie, her sister Lena could give a fuc*! Lena is like, "....And?" True abuelita style.
dlisted.com

 

[Kenysha75]

This Cover Will Look Beautiful Over Jennifer Aniston's Mantle

Last week, InTouch's cover story was a remake of Mommie Dearest starring St. Angie Jo as an evil monstress who recharges her cun* gene by laughing at her children's cries. This week, InTouch's cover story is remaking Romeo & Juliet with Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt as the star-crossed lovers who want to be together but can't because Maddox forbids it (you should always listen to Maddox).

The same bodyguard/fanfiction writer who painted Angie as a cold-hearted cuntress is also saying that Jennifer and Brad secretly meet up when St. Angie's private investigator (aka God) is not watching.

If you're feeling the need to punch a bunny this morning, channel your inner Brangeloonie (it helps if you put on mom jeans from Walmart and a Tomb Raider sweatshirt with suspicions stains on it) while reading this mess. From InTouch:

In an exclusive interview, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s former bodyguard reveals that since Brad and his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston reconnected at the 2009 Academy Awards, they have hooked up four times — three times in LA and once in New York — and even recently shared a passionate kiss. “I know that he still loves her,” the ex-bodyguard Bill, who for security reasons chooses only to be identified by his first name, tells In Touch.

In fact, there was one date that Bill says brought them closer than ever — and since then, their relationship has heated up even more. Brad and Jen arranged a secret meeting at the trails off of Western Canyon Road in Beverly Hills on December 9, Bill says.

At 3:30p.m., Jen pulled up to the location in her Bentley, and Brad arrived on his motorcycle. After Brad climbed into Jen’s passenger seat, “They were very cozy, clearly embracing,” Bill reveals for the first time. “Several times, Brad and Jen were hugging and kissing.” After talking and nuzzling for about 30 to 40 minutes, Bill, who was on “paparazzi watch,” advised the pair that they should leave, as photographers were spotted just a few miles away. “Jennifer left first, flashing Brad a quick peace sign and a smile,” says Bill. “Brad jogged back to his motorcycle, drove off and went for an hour bike ride.”

Then Jen woke up when Gerard Buttlered her culo again.

Let's just say there's a sprinkle of truth to this, why would Jen fuc* around with Brad now?! That b*tch had Brad when he was at the height of his hotness. Just keep that taste on your tongue and move on. If Jen really wants to know what it feels like to be chin tickled by a goat, she should go to a damn petting zoo instead.
dlisted.com

 

[iluvjeisa]

I find pictures of Angelina pitying poor people in other countries rather annoying.

There. I said it

 

[CaitlinC]

He is just haggard for the movie.

I still find him to be one of the sexiest men alive, besides my boyfriend.

He is more than half my age but I'd be with him if we were both single and he asked me. Not because he is a celeb but he is so down to earth, handsome and talented. ( I'm 22)

I don't get the Johnny Depp thing in the tabloids, he looks so haggard to me. Well, so does Brad right now.

 

[jennifer~]

Well... as someone with borderline personality disorder... I wouldn't be entirely surprised if Angelina has it. The signs are all there, but relayed through sensationalist tabloids, I understand. Call it a gut feeling, if you will. It certainly wouldn't make her a bad person, just someone who needs help. The media scrutiny is saddening, but what can we expect? (I wonder if this has been conjectured already...)

 

[iluvjeisa]

^ there's rumours about her hitting on johnny?!

As if the two of them could relax and chase together

 

[Harumi]

The same bodyguard/fanfiction writer who painted Angie as a cold-hearted cuntress is also saying that Jennifer and Brad secretly meet up when St. Angie's private investigator (aka God) is not watching.

Ahh! Part II of the Insecurity Diaries: Wayward Husband is so miserable with Scary Vixen that he is running back in the arms of Girl-Next-Door.

Next week preview:

Bodyguard Shock Bombshell!
SHILOH BEGS JEN: please adopt me, my mummy is so mean!

 

[NakedIfIWantTo]

^
No! Gerard Grab-*** Butler cannot be the step(?)father of angel babies...

 

[McClaire]

^ Hells Yeah he should! Teach those angel babies to get crazy!

SHILOH BEGS JEN: please adopt me, my mummy is so mean!

Harumi- you crack me up.

 

[yum_yum]

I find pictures of Angelina pitying poor people in other countries rather annoying.

There. I said it

ha ha ha


And why are they uglifying Beautiful Little Shiloh with that hairdo?

 

[newprincesita]

Ahh! Part II of the Insecurity Diaries: Wayward Husband is so miserable with Scary Vixen that he is running back in the arms of Girl-Next-Door.

Next week preview:

Bodyguard Shock Bombshell!
SHILOH BEGS JEN: please adopt me, my mummy is so mean!

 

[Kenysha75]

The New Messiah Is On Its Way

Grab a gold goblet, jump on your camel and ride towards the holy land (which is temporarily in Venice, Italy) and gather at the steps of the Church of Brangelina, because Star Magazine (via Hollywood Life) says the newest Fetus Christ is currently simmering in St. Angie's womb of wonder. And they must be right, because look at that bump! Or maybe she ate a garbanzo bean for lunch instead of her usual, a sandwich made out of her children's tears.

A source on the set of The Tourist tells Star that Angie must be knocked up for the fourth time around, because she's drinking grape juice instead of red wine and has asked the costumers to help her hide the evidence. A different source says that Angie has already told Brad and the child army. I'm sure Maddox was so thrilled he could fart after finding out that he had to train yet another brat how to properly wear all-black.

If this is true (which you know it isn't), how does Billy Goat Brad find the time? When he isn't cowering in fear of Angie, he's off secretly meeting Jennifer Aniston. What am I saying? Angie doesn't need to fuc* on Brad to get pregnant. All she has to do is send her leechy vagina out in the middle of the night to feed on Brad's huevos and collect what she needs.

I leave you with pictures of one of the twin messiahs, Knox, with Brad's mama je'e on THAT BALCONY in Venice yesterday.
dlisted.com

 

[farou7a]

dear GOD.. in touch's sources need to get a REAL job. seriously.

 

[NakedIfIWantTo]

don't they mean the third time pregnant?

 

[Escale Cherie II]

ha ha ha


And why are they uglifying Beautiful Little Shiloh with that hairdo?

1. It's hair, it'll grow back
2. Shiloh is a tomboy, it was probably her idea
3. Maybe they like it on her too
4. Why does it matter? She's Brad and Angelina's child, not anyone else's

 

[Paws]

^Good post.

Ha, ha I had a hair cut like that when I was little and no one ever said that my parents were uglifying me.............

 

[Kenysha75]

Things That Make Sense: St. Angie Is A Voodoo Priestess

Star Magazine is all about exclamation points this week!!! And the exclamation points are coming from the mouth of author Andrew Morton who claims he has a ton of escandaloso shi* on St. Angie Jo.

Andrew's Brangelina tell-all doesn't come out until August, but he pulled down his pants and let Star Magazine get a peek before it comes out. Andrew claims that St. Angie is an Ethan Hawke-fuc*ing, LSD devouring voodoo priestess of evil.

Andrew tells Star, "I interviewed dozens of her friends and associates, and they told me some fascinating facts about Angelina and her relationship with Brad. She will have to wait to find out what’s in it.”

So Andrew really wants us to believe that St. Angie is a regular Miss Jeanette from True Blood? Let me guess.... A few nights before a Jennifer Aniston movie opens, St. Angie hoists Billy Goat Brad up by his hooves over a cauldron and makes him wail while she dances around with a severed Beanie Baby head around her neck. On Billy Goat's third wail, she throws a few pieces of Aniston's movie poster into the pot and makes Maddox smear chocolate chip cookie dough all over her face. St. Angie does this to make sure Aniston's movie bombs at the box office. Hmmm. Yeah, I believe it.
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