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I still love Sam. It's her or boys
By EMMA COX, Senior Feature Writer
Published: Today
LINDSAY LOHAN today tells all about her lesbian relationship with SAMANTHA RONSON - and says she wants her lover back.
The Hollywood tearaway had a fiery 18-month fling with DJ Sam. It ended last April after the pair were frequently pictured fighting and crying in public.
Yesterday Lindsay exclusively revealed to The Sun the extent of her devastating drug and drink problems, which she admitted could have killed her.
In Day 2 of our exclusive interview, she reveals she is still in love with gay Samantha, 32 - sister of super producer Mark, the man behind AMY WINEHOUSE hit Rehab.
Bisexual Lindsay, who has had three stints in rehab, says she will never love another woman and plans to go back to BOYS if she can't win Sam back.
Mean Girls star Lindsay says: "I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with Samantha. It surprised me. We're still in touch. We live in the same apartment building in LA and see each other often. She has always been one of my best friends.
"If I wasn't with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She's the only woman I've been attracted to.
"We love each other. We might reconcile the relationship, maybe. I don't know."
Former child actress Lindsay - nicknamed Li-Lo - admits her relationship with Sam was "passionate".
She also reveals they split because Sam's family and friends did not approve of her and the way her life is constantly played out in front of the paparazzi.
She says: "There have been a lot of ups and downs. Her family is very involved in her relationships and that was difficult.
"I think Samantha was growing as a celebrity and a musician and I think that might have scared her family. But I've always been her biggest supporter and, yeah, I love her.
"All the fighting stuff was just because all her friends had got involved and made me an outcast, which wasn't fair to Samantha. I think it was a jealousy thing in terms of her becoming more famous than the rest of them.
"She kind of does what she wants now. It's changed, so who's to say we won't be together again?"
Lindsay will say little on the men in her life, admitting only that former fling Colin Farrell was "a long time ago", and that Calum Best was "over really quickly and not worth talking about. Next!".
When I ask about Heath Ledger, the late Batman star she was rumoured to be secretly dating when he died of an overdose in January 2008, she goes quiet and says only: "That's kind of a touchy subject. Sorry. He was a really good friend to me for a long time and it was really sad when that happened."
But she is happy to talk about Sam and claims most of their time together was happy and peaceful, despite dozens of pictures of Lindsay looking worse for wear after nights out with Sam ended in tears.
She says: "Maybe I was upset, or we had a tiff about something stupid.
"A picture can tell a thousand different words and lies. They want the negative, they want the drama. They want to say, 'Oh Lindsay's distraught, here we go again, should Sam leave?'.
"Mostly it was great. Everyone has ups and downs, it's normal. But in front of the public eye they're going to take the downs and make it seem like they're a million times worse. That comes with the territory.
"It was a big deal for me because I've never had a relationship as public as that, especially being with a girl for the first time. That was really scary for me. But I didn't care because I love her."
During my interview and photoshoot with Lindsay, who has two films in the can and a new clothing line, 6126, about to launch, I am given a glimpse into her chaotic and extraordinary life.
I have been warned that she is "very flaky" - our meeting comes days after she reportedly failed to escort Austrian billionaire Richard Lugner to the Vienna Opera Ball, despite him booking an £88,000 private jet to get her there.
Indeed, Lindsay keeps us waiting for over an hour at London's exclusive Connaught hotel before we are eventually beckoned into her palatial suite.
Once inside, I find the star picking at a plate of fish and chainsmoking, looking older than her 23 years and seeming tiny in a baggy jumper and leggings.
Our chat is interrupted by squeals when a bag arrives from designer Matthew Williamson.
Trying to get Lindsay to concentrate on talking to me when all she really cares about is how many dresses she can blag while she is in London is no mean feat.
Eventually we settle down to a searingly honest chat. Things pick up further as she comes alive during our photoshoot, narrowing her eyes and sucking her fingers with all the sex appeal of a young Angelina Jolie.
It is a whirlwind of a meeting and, if I'm honest, none of us are particularly taken with Ms Lohan.
But when you hear about her childhood with two warring parents and a father who was in and out of jail, it becomes clear she is something of a damaged young girl.
She was signed to Ford Models at just three years old and her parents, Dina and Michael, split up and got back together during her childhood.
Michael, a former Wall Street trader, was jailed three times for charges including fraudulent trading and assault. The upheaval of her youth left Lindsay with no self-confidence. In fact, she was so afraid of not fitting in at school she didn't tell classmates that she was filming 1998 blockbuster Parent Trap while they were all away at summer camp.
She says: "When you're young in school, people think you're bragging. I just didn't want the drama of all that.
"My childhood was very... well, my mom was amazing but my dad was there and then not there."
Lindsay and her dad no longer talk after he repeatedly spoke out about her problems to the Press and accused her of being addicted to prescription drugs as recently as December.
Lindsay, who has three younger siblings - brother Michael, sister Aliana and youngest brother Dakota - says: "Your family should be your security blanket. I don't know why he did that, to be honest.
"My Dad experimented with xxxx and I think maybe that had a lot to do with it.
"When I was younger he would disappear for three days then show up and we'd be walking on eggshells because we would be nervous of what he would say or do.
"I would put myself in between him and my siblings and do the best I could to protect them. Maybe I didn't realise how much it was affecting me as a person and what it could do to me in the long run. He never hit me, it was more verbal."
She even claimed: "When I was younger he hit my mum, but I don't really remember that part of it. I think my family is part of the reason I've made mistakes. I think it's just the pressure of wanting to please everyone. That's always been hard."
And with that, the flaky, selfish Hollywood star crumbles away and I am left staring at a very mixed-up, confused little girl who just wants to be loved.
As I leave her to party in her hotel suite, I can only hope that one day she will let somebody do just that.
sun.co.uk
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