Consumer testing London's shops
London shops have a bad reputation when it comes to customer service, but how guilty are they? Time Out's shopping experts – designer-clad diva Maggie Davis, scruffy girl-about-town Kate Riordan and geeky guy Tom Lamont – go mystery shopping, donning distinct outfits to see if they get treated differently
High street
Mission To find a last-minute outfit for a wedding
Topshop
Maggie The Oxford Street branch is always rammed – even on a Sunday afternoon when it’s piddling with rain. I set sail down the escalators and target the first shop assistant I see. She is young and lanky, and slightly reminiscent of Brit model-of-the-moment Agyness Deyn. ‘I’m looking for a dress to wear to a friend’s wedding next weekend,’ I say. ‘There are lots over in that direction,’ she replies. ‘Just near the Kate Moss collection.’ So far, so good – but I need more than someone pointing me the right way. I wait. ‘Would you like me to take you and help you find one?’ she asks. ‘Yes please,’ I reply, managing not to sound to sarcastic. Once we’re there, she proceeds to point out about five groovy, metallic mini-dresses. All fabulous, but not quite my style. ‘OK, there are loads around here,’ she says. Then she disappears into the sea of shoppers. This being Topshop (allegedly the world’s busiest fashion store), I’m strangely impressed. If I’d had the time, I could have booked a free appointment with a style advisor, after all. Compared with the service at H&M and many other high-street shops, it’s more than acceptable. Significantly, I also discover that staff are prepared to look for your size in the stock room if its not on display and don’t come out with that excruciatingly annoying catchphrase: ‘If it’s not on the shop floor it means we haven’t got it.’
Mission Failed, but only because the styles were slightly too young for me.
Customer-service rating 6/10.
Kate It’s lunchtime in the school holidays, so naturally Topshop is crammed full of schoolgirls arguing petulantly with their mothers about skirt length. It takes me a good ten minutes to locate a member of staff who’s not chained to a till, or speeding past with a rack full of clothes, exuding unapproachability. Finally, I grab a girl tidying a rail and tell her I need a last-minute wedding outfit. Are the smart dresses all in one place? She tells me that dresses are everywhere but the smarter ones are all ‘behind Kate Moss’. I presume she means the concession rather than the woman herself and set off (on my own). A gangly male student-like male employee is now in my sights. I ask him if some nearby dresses are a bit sparkly and shiny for a wedding and he agrees they are. I find I’m feeding him lines but he’s very well-meaning and friendly and then suddenly – eureka! – a lightbulb goes off in his head and he suggests Topshop’s ‘Boutique’ range, telling me he’ll take me there himself as he’s ‘going that way’. Once we arrive, he leaves, saying, ‘Sorry I haven’t been very helpful’. But – in his own way – he has.
Mission Just about accomplished.
Customer-service rating 6/10.
Tom I hardly expected the ever-busy staff to approach me offering help, but someone is there as soon as I start to throw out looks of vague appeal. The assistant, a tall chap like me, immediately takes to the task of finding me some trousers that won’t taper off at my shins. Of course, my studenty garb goes unmentioned. Most of it was bought here anyway.
Mission Accomplished.
Customer-service rating 8/10.
Topshop/Topman, 214 Oxford St, W1 (020 7636 7700/www.topshop.co.uk) Oxford Circus tube. Open Mon-Sat 9am-8pm, Thur 9am-9pm,Sun 12noon-6pm.
WORST OVERALL CUSTOMER SERVICE
H&M
Maggie I stalk into H&M at the Tottenham Court Road end of Oxford Street determined to find a shop assistant within two minutes. I do, just. ‘Hello,’ I say in a firm but friendly manner. ‘I’m looking for an outfit to wear to a friend’s wedding. Please can you help?’ The shop assistant looks bemused and then blank. ‘Nah,’ she says. ‘You’re better off trying the Bond Street branch.’ Well, I reason to myself, it’s information, even if delivered without charm. En route, I also try my luck in the huge (and hellish) Oxford Circus branch. Here it takes me more than three minutes to find a shop assistant – I think she is down in the basement. ‘I’m looking for a dress to wear to a friend’s wedding,’ I explain. ‘I don’t think we do them,’ she says, looking slightly annoyed to be pestered with a question. I persist: ‘Really, nothing at all?’ Wearily she replies: ‘Okay, I’ll ask someone.’ Two minutes later she returns. ‘Sorry, we don’t have them – try the Tottenham Court Road end or the Bond Street end.’ Feeling a bit like the retail equivalent of a pinball, I head to the Bond Street branch, where this time it takes me even longer to find a shop assistant. Again she is down in the basement putting accessories out. I repeat my question. She frowns, looking quite angry. ‘NO!’ she barks. ‘We don’t do that kind of thing,’ and promptly goes back to displaying the 99p earrings. I am appalled.
Mission Failed.
Customer-service rating 0/10.
Kate I ask a woman folding jumpers for some help. ‘Smarter stuff is over there,’ she replies, waving vaguely in one direction. After she’s dealt with me, I watch as she gesticulates in a similar fashion at other customers looking lost, but never budging from her spot. I walk around for another ten minutes looking for a different member of staff to ask but there’s no one to be seen. You have to fend for yourself here.
Mission Failed.
Customer-service rating 1/10 for not actually being rude with it.
Tom Though no busier than Topshop in terms of customer numbers, H&M's service seems markedly more disorganised and frantic. Appeals to the tattooed Euro-staff are never ignored outright, but most assistants are dashing from one task to another and too busy to offer personal help.
Mission Failed.
Customer-service rating 3/10.
H&M, 261-271 Regent St, W1 (020 7493 4004/www.hm.com/gb) Oxford Circus tube. Open Mon-Wed, Sat 10am-7pm,Thur, Fri 10am- 8pm, Sun 12noon-6pm.
Luxury designer
Mission Ask for help with new-season accessories in Prada, and ‘guilt and quilt’ bags in Chanel
Prada
Maggie Just off the Victoria Line I head to Bond Street with neat hair, air-brushed makeup and smart attire, and – it must be confessed – a slight sense of anxiety. My ruse is to act like a rich b*tch who’s dying to part with wads of cash. The security guard opens the door with a smooth, ‘Hello, madam’. Demurely I walk across the blush-coloured carpet and head straight for accessories. The store’s already buzzing at 10.30am on a Friday morning due to the fact the new autumn collections have arrived. My mission is to ‘buy’ a chic Prada purse. Within a second of my looking at the glass cabinet, an extremely friendly and smiley male shop assistant says how nice these styles are. ‘Oh, yes,’ I coo in euphoric agreement. ‘Can I have a look at this one please?’ I point at a cream purse with a divine and perfectly placed metal Prada logo. The fun banter begins. I explain that I want it for my birthday and that I’m hoping my other half is going to buy it for me. ‘Good idea!’ he says. ‘When’s your birthday?’ ‘November,’ I lie realising how inconveniently distant it seems. Perhaps I’ve just been rumbled. ‘So, that’s um… how many days?!’ he jokes and proceeds to write down the style name, code and price on a card. Temptation strikes. I seriously contemplate buying it. Good sense gets the better of me, but this shop assistant’s enthusiasm, approachability and friendliness has worked a treat.
Mission Accomplished.
Customer-service rating: 10/10.
Kate My heart is in my mouth on the way down Sloane Street. The store’s virtually empty when I get there, so it’s only my (high-street) flip flops on the plush carpet. I walk to the back and am drawn to a pair of purple reptile-skin peep-toe heels which would be the antithesis of a practical purchase. I sneakily look at the price on the sole: £615. A shop assistant is by this time hovering so I ask for her help and – blow me! – she smiles. She gets me a pair in my size and I shove my feet in, aware that I could do with a pedicure and that my flip flops are on the grubby side. My assistant is not effusively friendly, but she’s polite. All the time I’m in there, I’m aware that the hulking security guard has come to stand nearby. Perhaps it’s paranoia but I find myself wafting around, picking up heels and putting them down, and trying to look as unlike a shoplifter as possible. When the second pair I have fetched for me fits, I explain that my boyfriend’s actually buying them so can she write down the name for me. She says they’re the only purple crocodile skin heels they do so there’s no need. ‘Thank you, madam,’ she says, as I leave. Madam!
Mission Accomplished.
Customer-service rating 7/10.
Tom After a few minutes of aimless wandering, I'm spotted by a friendly assistant who takes me under her wing, offering to explain the range of handbags and purses. I mumble my cover story (mum’s birthday, special present, always been her dream to own a handbag that costs more than a castle) and the rest is a breeze. I must visibly flinch at the price of one bag – my instinct is to swivel and run – because soon she disappears downstairs, to find me something a little cheaper. We spend so long talking about a leather-lined bag with secret pockets that I come worryingly close to buying the thing, before remembering that I haven’t the money, it isn’t my mum’s birthday, and, anyway, she’d prefer a castle.
Mission Accomplished.
Customer-service rating 9/10.
Prada, 16-18 Old Bond St, W1 (020 7647 5000/www.prada.com) Green park tube. Open Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Thur until 7pm; 43-45 Sloane St, SW1 (020 7235 0008/www.prada.com) Knightsbridge tube. Open Mon-Sat 10am-6pm.
Chanel
Maggie When it comes to intimidating shops, Chanel tops my list. Is it the ultra-chic and iconic black logo or simply the fact it’s French? I take a deep breath and saunter in, after being greeted amicably by the doorman. A petite French sales assistant swiftly looks me up and down. I’m unsure whether it’s simply out of natural interest or to suss out the price of my clothes (I suspect the latter), but either way it makes me feel a little more self-conscious than at Prada. I make eye contact with a more approachable shop assistant. ‘Can I help?’ she asks in polite but frozen tones. ‘I want to buy a classic 2.55 bag,’ I explain. She gets examples out and then talks me through the various different leathers (calf skin vs lamb skin) and is clearly an expert on the subject. I start to become unhealthily excited by the options. Once more, good sense prevails, but I ask her to write down both styles on a card with the price. She has defrosted somewhat when she realises how serious (and enthused) I am about owning one.
Mission Accomplished.
Customer-service rating 6.5/10.
Kate When I go into Chanel, a gaggle of grown-up sisters and their large mother are congregated in the jewellery section. Meanwhile, two small boys, apparently belonging to them, chase each other around the glass cases on wheely trainers, putting finger marks everywhere and shrieking loudly. I make eye contact with the doorman who looks pained but remains mute. So is this what it means to be seriously rich – not caring that your kids are running riot in Chanel? I browse the handbags for five or so minutes until a very dapper man asks if I need help. I explain that ‘my father’ (‘daddy’ would be pushing it) is going to treat me to a handbag and I want one from the new season. He tells me that all those on display are new season. I pick at random a big, squashy brown one, hoping I’ll earn some kudos for picking one of the least ostentatiously labelled bags in the shop. I ask what colours it comes in and how much they are and, after some casual slipping it onto my shoulder for size, declare it to be the one. ‘Can you write it all down for my father please? After all, he’s the one with the money,’ I say gaily. He laughs politely. As I leave, the long-suffering doorman holds the doors open for me and says ‘Thank you very much, madam’ – the subtext being ‘at least you’ve got some manners.’
Mission Accomplished.
Customer-service rating 8/10.
Tom As at Prada, I am treated like minor royalty as soon as I enter. My hoodie and grimy strap-bag go unnoted. Instead, I breeze into the cover story and am immediately presented with a choice of lamb-skin handbags. I even manage to slip the phrase ‘new season’ into conversation. The assistant, Caroline, is friendly and consultative, never pushy. Prices are, discreetly, never mentioned; instead she writes them down for me to consult later. I like this; I can be rendered breathless with horror in my own time.
Mission Accomplished.
Customer-service rating 10/10.
Chanel, 26 Old Bond St, W1 (020 7493 5040/www.chanel.com) Green Park tube. Open Mon-Sat 10am-6pm; 167/170 Sloane St, SW1 (020 7235 6631/www.chanel.com) Knightsbridge tube. Open Mon-Sat 10am-6pm.