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Paris Hilton (Please put all Paris news here)
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á la Balenciaga
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Well she has been charged with a Felony!!! 
That's pretty serious right there.
And this is the state of Nevada, which is a state with extremely strict regulations.
She faces up to 4 years in federal prison, no longer county jail...we're talking about FEDERAL PRISON
OJ Simpson got 33 years in prison for robbery in Nevada.
That's pretty serious right there.And this is the state of Nevada, which is a state with extremely strict regulations.
She faces up to 4 years in federal prison, no longer county jail...we're talking about FEDERAL PRISON
OJ Simpson got 33 years in prison for robbery in Nevada.
Wonks Was Set Up!
There's good news and there's "WONK PLEASE" news. First up is the good news, which brings all of us one beautiful step closer to seeing Parasite Hilton push a wonky tear out of her eye in the back a cop car AGAIN. TMZ reports that Wonks will be charged with a felony for getting caught with a .8 grams of c**e in Las Vegas over the weekend. According to the police report, the arresting officer didn't even have to work that hard to bust Wonky, because an invisible angel picked up the bag of Lindsay Lohan's favorite nose mint from her bag and gracefully dropped it into the cop's open palm.
The cop writes that right after they pulled Wonky's boyfriend Cy Waits over, she started complaining about how she needed to take a piss (aka flush the evidence down the toilet). So the cop held on to Wonky's purse and escorted her into the Wynn Hotel so she could use the bathroom.
Once they were inside, she asked the cop if she could get some lip chap out of her purse. The cop when on to write: "As she began to open it, I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be co***ne in a clear baggie begin to fall from the purse and into my hand." HA. When Darwin fails, we all win.
The cop also found a broken Al***erol tablet and Zig Zag rolling papers. Wonks admitted that the Alb***rol belonged to her, but she pulled an excuse straight out of every episode of Cops by saying that the c**e wasn't hers. And not only was the c**e not hers, but neither was the purse! This b*tch told the police that her friend let her borrow the purse earlier. Wonks said that she had seen the bag of c**e in the purse earlier, but she thought "it was gum."
Now for the "WONK PLEASE" news. According to TMZ, her story is about as jacked up as her eye, because she's now telling friends that she thinks she was set up! Wonks has admitted to friends that the purse is hers, but she believes a shifty b*tch dropped the c**e into her bag. A source claims that Wonky is saying, "I had no idea the c**ine was there. I swear on my life. It could be a setup. Everyone knows how against co***ne I am." Wonks also thinks that the cop turned it into a big deal, because she's famous.
So just to recap, Wonks is either going to play "the c**e is not mine" card or "the purse is not mine" card. Here's hoping Las Vegas plays the "GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL" card and sets this dumb b*tch up in a nice jail suite a few doors down from O.J. Simpson on celebrity row.
dlisted
There's good news and there's "WONK PLEASE" news. First up is the good news, which brings all of us one beautiful step closer to seeing Parasite Hilton push a wonky tear out of her eye in the back a cop car AGAIN. TMZ reports that Wonks will be charged with a felony for getting caught with a .8 grams of c**e in Las Vegas over the weekend. According to the police report, the arresting officer didn't even have to work that hard to bust Wonky, because an invisible angel picked up the bag of Lindsay Lohan's favorite nose mint from her bag and gracefully dropped it into the cop's open palm.
The cop writes that right after they pulled Wonky's boyfriend Cy Waits over, she started complaining about how she needed to take a piss (aka flush the evidence down the toilet). So the cop held on to Wonky's purse and escorted her into the Wynn Hotel so she could use the bathroom.
Once they were inside, she asked the cop if she could get some lip chap out of her purse. The cop when on to write: "As she began to open it, I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be co***ne in a clear baggie begin to fall from the purse and into my hand." HA. When Darwin fails, we all win.
The cop also found a broken Al***erol tablet and Zig Zag rolling papers. Wonks admitted that the Alb***rol belonged to her, but she pulled an excuse straight out of every episode of Cops by saying that the c**e wasn't hers. And not only was the c**e not hers, but neither was the purse! This b*tch told the police that her friend let her borrow the purse earlier. Wonks said that she had seen the bag of c**e in the purse earlier, but she thought "it was gum."
Now for the "WONK PLEASE" news. According to TMZ, her story is about as jacked up as her eye, because she's now telling friends that she thinks she was set up! Wonks has admitted to friends that the purse is hers, but she believes a shifty b*tch dropped the c**e into her bag. A source claims that Wonky is saying, "I had no idea the c**ine was there. I swear on my life. It could be a setup. Everyone knows how against co***ne I am." Wonks also thinks that the cop turned it into a big deal, because she's famous.
So just to recap, Wonks is either going to play "the c**e is not mine" card or "the purse is not mine" card. Here's hoping Las Vegas plays the "GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL" card and sets this dumb b*tch up in a nice jail suite a few doors down from O.J. Simpson on celebrity row.
dlisted
State prison. Only facing state charges, not Federal.
MissLondon
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Damn Hilton. Just damn.
FASHIONLOVA
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i hope her, her lazy eye and her bird face go to jail
Will Not-My-Bag Defense Work? Paris' Purse Pic Could Be Her Undoing
Her excuse? ... that wasn't her purse.
Now try if you can to cast your mind back to a month and a half ago, when Paris posted a twitpic of a Chanel purse she had just purchased—a purse which certainly looks identical to the handbag she was apparently carrying at the time of her arrest...
Read more: http://ca.eonline.com/uberblog/b198574_will_not-my-bag_defense_work_paris.html#ixzz0yQTGK7P3
Her excuse? ... that wasn't her purse.
Now try if you can to cast your mind back to a month and a half ago, when Paris posted a twitpic of a Chanel purse she had just purchased—a purse which certainly looks identical to the handbag she was apparently carrying at the time of her arrest...
Read more: http://ca.eonline.com/uberblog/b198574_will_not-my-bag_defense_work_paris.html#ixzz0yQTGK7P3
Wonky Really Does Have Talent!
Joe Francis, the douchebag with the most punchable face in the world, is trying to coc* block one of his former employees from releasing a tell-all which paints him as a "child molester, tax cheat, r*pist, co*ed-out amoral direct marketer, violent thug and sexual predator." You know, all the things Joe's oldest auntie calls him when she pinches his face cheeks at family reunions. "You adorable little co*ed out tax cheat r*pist you.."
The book FLASH! Bars, Boobs, and Busted: 5 Years on the Road with Girls Gone Wild written by Ryan Simkin isn't out yet, but he's been releasing excerpts including this one about Wonky McValtrex's ONE MAJOR TALENT!
Ryan writes that Joe called him from Europe one day and asked him to get twenty hits of ec****y and four 8-balls of co*e from Girls Gone Wild's controller/drug dealer. Joe instructed Ryan to get the bundle of the bad shi* to his girlfriend at the time Paris Hilton. Ryan put it all in a Camel ciggie box and met Wonks at Smashbox Studios where she was doing a photo shoot for Seventeen. Ryan went on to write:
I took out the Camel box and handed it to her, and she thanked me. We talked for a minute or two about the apparent difficulty of procuring those d*ugs in Europe. I asked if she was flying private, and she said, "No, commercial." And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X. She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.
Right after that they came in with her next outfit, and she put it on. She said we could stay for a while and watch, but we were tired, and our work there was done. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and my roommate and I went back to the car to go home. I don't think we said five words to each other the entire car ride. I spoke to Joe a couple weeks later. He thanked me again for the favor and said it all arrived safe.
I guess so.
And I bet that when Wonky pulled out the Camel box in Europe, that shi* was empty! Tinkerbell, the army of puss* parasites and all her crotch crustaceans sn*rted it all up! Do you blame them? Every day, they all sit in Wonky's cooch cavern waiting for some kind of nourishment to come through. When it's a peen, they just stand against her sour walls filing their nails and waiting for it to leave. But when it's a box of something good, they fight over that shi* Lord of the Flies-style!
b*tch's puss* is like the opening to Ursula's lair. I would call Tinkerbell and Wonky's crabs "poor unfortunate souls" but they probably s*ort more co*e than all of us combined!
dlisted
Joe Francis, the douchebag with the most punchable face in the world, is trying to coc* block one of his former employees from releasing a tell-all which paints him as a "child molester, tax cheat, r*pist, co*ed-out amoral direct marketer, violent thug and sexual predator." You know, all the things Joe's oldest auntie calls him when she pinches his face cheeks at family reunions. "You adorable little co*ed out tax cheat r*pist you.."
The book FLASH! Bars, Boobs, and Busted: 5 Years on the Road with Girls Gone Wild written by Ryan Simkin isn't out yet, but he's been releasing excerpts including this one about Wonky McValtrex's ONE MAJOR TALENT!
Ryan writes that Joe called him from Europe one day and asked him to get twenty hits of ec****y and four 8-balls of co*e from Girls Gone Wild's controller/drug dealer. Joe instructed Ryan to get the bundle of the bad shi* to his girlfriend at the time Paris Hilton. Ryan put it all in a Camel ciggie box and met Wonks at Smashbox Studios where she was doing a photo shoot for Seventeen. Ryan went on to write:
I took out the Camel box and handed it to her, and she thanked me. We talked for a minute or two about the apparent difficulty of procuring those d*ugs in Europe. I asked if she was flying private, and she said, "No, commercial." And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X. She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.
Right after that they came in with her next outfit, and she put it on. She said we could stay for a while and watch, but we were tired, and our work there was done. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and my roommate and I went back to the car to go home. I don't think we said five words to each other the entire car ride. I spoke to Joe a couple weeks later. He thanked me again for the favor and said it all arrived safe.
I guess so.
And I bet that when Wonky pulled out the Camel box in Europe, that shi* was empty! Tinkerbell, the army of puss* parasites and all her crotch crustaceans sn*rted it all up! Do you blame them? Every day, they all sit in Wonky's cooch cavern waiting for some kind of nourishment to come through. When it's a peen, they just stand against her sour walls filing their nails and waiting for it to leave. But when it's a box of something good, they fight over that shi* Lord of the Flies-style!
b*tch's puss* is like the opening to Ursula's lair. I would call Tinkerbell and Wonky's crabs "poor unfortunate souls" but they probably s*ort more co*e than all of us combined!
dlisted
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isa.b.elle.
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^
and agree with shoesexy
and agree with shoesexy
yum_yum
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No Jail For Wonks
Parasite Hilton has copped a peen (don't you dare red mark that typo) in order to keep from sitting her flat *** in jail. The Las Vegas Review-Journal says that Wonks will plead guilty to misdemeanor d**g possession and obstructing an officer in exchange for a tiny slap on the wrist in the form of one year of probation. Wonks' crotch critters are clapping their claws together, because their fix is going to keep on coming!
Wonks was caught with less than a gram of the bad **** in Las Vegas last month when her boyfriend was pulled over for hot boxin'. According to reports, Wonks' story changed several times. At first she denied that the purse was hers. Then she said that the purse did belong to her, but she let her friend borrow it earlier in the night. That's when she dropped the "I thought the c*** was gum" excuse. Wonks faced jail time if prosecutors charged her with a felony. But now she's free!
On top of probation, she will have to pay a $2000 fine, complete a substance abuse program and serve 200 hours of community service. If she's busted for anything before her probation ends, she'll go to jail for a full year. Somewhere deep inside Wonks' pet closet, Tinkerbell Hilton is offering up a reward to any dog who successfully sets her up. So 911 operators should know exactly what to do if they get a call from a yappy *** dog. We're all in this together!
But seriously, the lesson here is that if you're going to get caught with the bad **** make sure the arresting officer can check the "rich", "white," and "famous" boxes on the police report. If they can, then feel free to do a line on the report while the officer is writing it up, because the party never ends for you! YAY!
dlisted
Typical slap on the wrist. But I have every faith that she will stuff it up again
Parasite Hilton has copped a peen (don't you dare red mark that typo) in order to keep from sitting her flat *** in jail. The Las Vegas Review-Journal says that Wonks will plead guilty to misdemeanor d**g possession and obstructing an officer in exchange for a tiny slap on the wrist in the form of one year of probation. Wonks' crotch critters are clapping their claws together, because their fix is going to keep on coming!
Wonks was caught with less than a gram of the bad **** in Las Vegas last month when her boyfriend was pulled over for hot boxin'. According to reports, Wonks' story changed several times. At first she denied that the purse was hers. Then she said that the purse did belong to her, but she let her friend borrow it earlier in the night. That's when she dropped the "I thought the c*** was gum" excuse. Wonks faced jail time if prosecutors charged her with a felony. But now she's free!
On top of probation, she will have to pay a $2000 fine, complete a substance abuse program and serve 200 hours of community service. If she's busted for anything before her probation ends, she'll go to jail for a full year. Somewhere deep inside Wonks' pet closet, Tinkerbell Hilton is offering up a reward to any dog who successfully sets her up. So 911 operators should know exactly what to do if they get a call from a yappy *** dog. We're all in this together!
But seriously, the lesson here is that if you're going to get caught with the bad **** make sure the arresting officer can check the "rich", "white," and "famous" boxes on the police report. If they can, then feel free to do a line on the report while the officer is writing it up, because the party never ends for you! YAY!
dlisted
Typical slap on the wrist. But I have every faith that she will stuff it up again
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Valentine27
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Paris was in court this morning.
You can see the video on TMZ.
You can see the video on TMZ.
Valentine27
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^She got off of Japan!
She said on Twitter that she's heading back to home.
She said on Twitter that she's heading back to home.
Sayonara, Skank!
One extremely lucky immigration official got to tell Parasite Hilton today that unlike her, Japan doesn't let just anybody in and she needs take her Godzilla as* feet back to the US. That official's family probably threw them a special dinner and carried them around the neighborhood while everyone threw confetti! Proudest moment ever.
After spending 6 hours with immigration officials yesterday and one night at an airport hotel, Wonks was told that she could not enter Japan due to her recent drug conviction. HA. I love that she flew all the way to Japan, got off the plane and smiled as though she was about to get showered with pink stuffed animals and love-flavored welcomes. WRONG. Wonks got a cold splash of "GET THE FUC* OUT" thrown at her face instead.
Wonks' spokeswhore had this to say:
"Paris is very disappointed and fought hard to keep her business commitments and see her fans, but she is forced to postpone her commitments in Asia. Paris understands and respects the rules and laws of the immigration authorities in Japan and fully wishes to cooperate with them. Paris looks forward to returning in the future to a country she loves and has been coming to for the past 10 years.”
Every country could really learn a lot from Japan. Japan knows how to do it. Game shows devoted to dog farts, commercials that look exactly like your acid flashbacks and NO WONKY!
dlisted
One extremely lucky immigration official got to tell Parasite Hilton today that unlike her, Japan doesn't let just anybody in and she needs take her Godzilla as* feet back to the US. That official's family probably threw them a special dinner and carried them around the neighborhood while everyone threw confetti! Proudest moment ever.
After spending 6 hours with immigration officials yesterday and one night at an airport hotel, Wonks was told that she could not enter Japan due to her recent drug conviction. HA. I love that she flew all the way to Japan, got off the plane and smiled as though she was about to get showered with pink stuffed animals and love-flavored welcomes. WRONG. Wonks got a cold splash of "GET THE FUC* OUT" thrown at her face instead.
Wonks' spokeswhore had this to say:
"Paris is very disappointed and fought hard to keep her business commitments and see her fans, but she is forced to postpone her commitments in Asia. Paris understands and respects the rules and laws of the immigration authorities in Japan and fully wishes to cooperate with them. Paris looks forward to returning in the future to a country she loves and has been coming to for the past 10 years.”
Every country could really learn a lot from Japan. Japan knows how to do it. Game shows devoted to dog farts, commercials that look exactly like your acid flashbacks and NO WONKY!
dlisted
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