Keeping Up With Lindsay #2 (please put all Lohan news here)

[Boomer]

^ You were very right! It is sort of crazy that her denial tour could generate that sort of money, but then when basketball players are getting $25 Million a year to put a ball through a hoop, I guess we are officially through the looking glass....

 

[sethii]

LINDSAY LOHAN is set to leave her Hollywood pad next week and move into new digs in a Los Angeles suburb.

But instead of wild showbiz parties and a plush double bed to curl up in afterwards, the actress will be locked up for 23 hours a day in a tiny cell with a rock-hard bunk and a single blanket.
Lindsay's A-list neighbours will be replaced with tough guards at the Lynwood correctional facility, as well as fearsome lesbian gangs desperate to get their hands on her.

Grim ... bleak facilities at Lynwood correctional facility

Today, in the words of current jailbirds, The Sun can reveal the brutal conditions inside the prison.
Lindsay has been sentenced to 90 days' jail for breaking her probation for a 2007 drink-driving offence.
This weekend, the terrified former child star hired a new lawyer in a last-ditch bid to avoid jail. And from her future neighbours' graphic accounts of life inside, it is clear why she is so desperate to wriggle out of her sentence.
Tamara Haley, 38, doing time for h***** possession and prostitution, said last night: "Everyone will want a piece of her. It will make them famous if they hurt Lindsay Lohan.
"Or if you get her to cry, the whole ward will laugh and people will love it - even the guards."

Lesbian
Tamara also warned bisexual Lindsay of the jail's lesbian gangs - and offered advice on how to avoid their clutches.

She revealed: "The gay inmates wear their shirts inside out to let others know they are available.
"So if Lindsay doesn't want someone to grab her *** she'd better keep her shirt on straight.
"Women grab each other like animals when the guards aren't looking. It's disgusting."
Unless her new lawyer wins an 11th hour reprieve, Lindsay must hand herself in to the authorities by midnight on July 20. On Sunday she enjoyed a night on the town with former girlfriend

Jail overcrowding means she is likely to serve around 23 days.
It is a mighty fall for a girl who became one of America's brightest young talents at the age of 11, when she appeared in 1998 Disney movie The Parent Trap.
Lindsay, 24, went on to appear in Freaky Friday, Herbie: Fully Loaded and Mean Girls. But in 2006 her career ran into trouble when she was blasted by her studio boss for "all-night heavy partying".

Litter picking ... one of the jobs Lindsay could do in jail

There followed two drink-drive arrests, a conviction for possessing c****** and three stints in rehab.
At Lynwood, Lindsay is expected to spend her time in the jail's segregation unit for her own safety.
There, inmates are locked up for 23 hours a day in a tiny cell with a bunk bed, toilet and sink.
Their sole hour outside their cell can be spent getting fresh air in a roofless room or working out on the handful of rusty exercise machines.
Tamara added: "She'll be segregated from the general population but where she's going it is even worse. It's the wing where the murderers are.
"I don't think they will actually be able to get to her, but you never know. At the very least some of those hardcases will try to scare her. They'll scream stuff to her from their cells.
"I've been in segregation and it was rough. The lights are on the whole time. You hear people screaming all night long. The cells are filthy and kept brutally cold. You get one tiny blanket and that's it.
"There's an infection going around now. You can barely sleep at night from all the coughing. And there are girls with body lice."
The horror for Lindsay will begin the minute she walks into the jail.
Cynthia Bertrand, 26 - serving time for assault - explained how she was "processed": "They pat you down and put you in a five-person holding cell, but there are about 25 women in there and only three benches to sit on.
"It's very hot and there's an open toilet with no lid for all the women. The toilet was clogged and there was dried faeces everywhere.
"You have a full cavity search. They line up the girls and you all have to take off your clothes. They swab your mouth to check for Aids. They do another swab to check for other STDs. Your chest is then X-rayed for tuberculosis."
Despite the ordeal awaiting Lindsay, even some of her closest friends agree jail might be what she needs to turn her life around.
One pal, who asked not to be named, revealed yesterday: "Rehab programs say that when you keep on the path Lindsay has been on for so long, the results can only be jail, death or the asylum.
"In that sense, jail is the best thing that could happen to her."
​

​

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thesun.co.uk

 

[Boomer]

Sounds like a month from now her attitude problem will be changed...rehab will look like Disneyland after this experience...

 

[Nemova]

^ And I'm quite sure Dina was part of OJs defense team, too.... I believe that was the same year she won the Women's Singles Title at Wimbledon....

I'm trying not to laugh real hard and loud because I'm still at the office, so this does it for me now:

 

[turnofflights]

is that the same prison paris served in?

 

[colourmefashion]

I'm surprised that a mother uses terms like "this child" I know she refers to Lindsay as her daughter but I'm always taken aback by her usage of "this little girl" "this child"

im more put off on how she refers to lindsay as a 'little girl' or a 'child'
shes a 24 year old woman.
your done being a child at 12.
the rest is your teen years, then adulthood.

but i guess its different for the Lohans.
your a child no matter what your age is.

 

[Boomer]

is that the same prison Paris served in?

I think it is...
And the NY Daily News says...(are there any people in this whole story who aren't bizarre and out of touch with reality??)

Despite her 90-day prison sentence, Lindsay Lohan doesn't plan to head to the big house.

"Lindsay has no intention of going to jail," a source told PopEater.com. "The only thing that Lindsay did wrong was hire the wrong attorney."

After Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, jumped ship late last week, the actress contacted criminal defense attorney Stuart Goldberg. Although he was widely reported to be taking over Lohan's case, Goldberg won't be stepping in to help the troubled starlet after all.

As her July 20 court date approaches, Lohan is reportedly doing "what it takes" to avoid doing time behind bars.
"If Lindsay needs to start a Facebook campaign or set up protests or something like that, she is totally into it," the source told PopEater. "They are treating Lindsay differently because she is a star, so it's about time she used her star power to help her. She's seen the movie 'Chicago' several times, so it's not like she doesn't know how this sort of thing works!"

Unfortunately for Lohan, a song-and-dance routine may not be her best plan.

When Goldberg met with Lohan, her mother Dina and younger sister Ali for a six-hour "heart-to-heart conversation" over the weekend, he said the family "didn't seem to understand the urgency and gravity of the situation."
"My impression of Lindsay is that she's a fragile lost child – a sleeping beauty with her head in the sand," Goldberg told People.com.
"I'm concerned that she's not disciplined or tethered enough to the reality of adult consequences," he told the mag. "She doesn't seem to have the awareness of what's going to befall her."
What Lohan is reportedly aware of, however, is the lucrative paycheck she could earn for her first post-jail interview. According to PopEater, deals for the troubled actress are around the $1 million mark.
"Financially, it's the best thing that could have ever happened to Lindsay," an insider told the Web site. "It's no secret that Lindsay has been in financial trouble for a while. She will earn more money from her post-prison interview than she ever earned acting."

 

[Boomer]

While the Los Angeles Times has what may be the only beacon of hope for her- in reality that is, you know- here on Planet Earth...

Yep, Lindsay Lohan is sad, all right. First she got in trouble for her DUI-slash-probation-violation. (Well, no, first Lindsay had to grow up with Dina and Michael Lohan, but we have to start somewhere.) Then she ran up against a judge who was not amused by Lohan’s version of reality. Then Lohan had to wear that ugly ankle bracelet around, and her lawyer stone-cold stepped, and now the actress has to go to jail. And she can’t go to jail! She just can’t, is all! Says her mom, that’s who!
But if you’re familiar with the intricacies of celebrity jailhouse math -- and we are -- you know that Lohan may not be in as much dire peril as originally feared. Judge Marsha Revel has handed down a 90-day jail sentence for Lohan. But according to our Division of Absolutely Accurate Statistics -- and a book penned by, why, yes, me! -- don’t be shocked if Lohan actually spends much less time in the slammer. And yes, we mean even less time than an ordinary person would spend with time off for good behavior.
Behold, our jailhouse math: A nonfamous convict sent to a Los Angeles County jail generally serves ...
... roughly 10% of his or her sentence; you may thank overcrowding for that. However, recent field studies published in "The A-List Playbook" indicate that celebrities have it even easier. By way of example: Nicole Richie. She was once sentenced to four days in the hoosegow stemming from DUI-related drama. That’s 96 hours. Ten percent of 96 is 9.6 hours, or 576 minutes. Richie stayed in jail for all of 86 minutes.
By way of another example: An earlier iteration of Lindsay Lohan herself. She was once sentenced to 24 hours for DUI-related charges. Ten percent of that: 2.4 hours. The reality: 84 minutes.
Precisely how much time will Lohan do this time around? Could it be the whole darned thing? Maybe we should start a betting pool...

 

[sethii]

Even for Dina this is delusional

A judge ordered Lindsay Lohan to report to jail July 20, but the star’s mom, Dina, has every expectation that the actress won’t be spending any time behind bars.
In an interview with In Touch Weekly, Dina said that after the July 6 sentencing, she and Lindsay “hugged and cried a lot,” but they are “optimists.” “Lindsay is sober and she’s fine. I don’t want to speak hypothetically (about jail) because she’s not going to be in that situation,” Dina said.
If Lindsay does end up in jail, her mother says that Lindsay’s biggest concerns about doing time would be coping with her claustrophobia and dealing with not smoking. (“She will probably have to get hypnotized,” Dina said of the smoking situation.)

But her fears for Lindsay are much larger. “If Lindsay went to jail, I would fear for her life. Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a r*pist or a murderer. This wasn’t a violent crime, but they’re saying you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd,” Dina told In Touch.
There’s been speculation about what Lindsay’s future will be like if she has to go to jail, and what impact it will have on her career. Dina said that Lindsay does have goals for the future, and they have nothing to do with acting.

ok....now, take a deep breath and read the last part

“Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here (in Los Angeles) and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town,” Dina said. “She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.”

today.msnbc.msn.com

 

[yogini108]

 

[misspistol]

Oh Dina.....

 

[LabelWhore4]

That's our Lindsay... always thinking of others

 

[colourmefashion]

Lindsay you cant help others until you help yourself
work on yourself before oters, you really need to

 

[Vevi]

Dina ...

all I can say is ...

 

[Boomer]

^ Fantastic Vevi- that can be the logo for the Lohan Substance Abuse Training, I mean, Treatment Center!! As a bartender, I would like to offer my services to help- (for free, of course, since there is no other way for people to work with the Lohans...) We could teach how to mix drinks, the evils of alcohol (sampling many delicious cocktails, of course), doctor shopping and how to avoid incompetent lawyers! I can see field trips to ice cream stores to practice entitlement and aggressive behavior, leaving drunken telephone messages and the all important negotiating business deals when you are 'in talks' for a new (fantasy) film, club opening or a line of cheesy clothing! Thanks to Lindsay and Dina- I have found a new purpose in life- helping the poor and downtrodden learn the financial, chemical and career moves that made the name "LOHAN" stand alone in quality celebrity life services!!

 

[farou7a]

im more put off on how she refers to lindsay as a 'little girl' or a 'child'
shes a 24 year old woman.
your done being a child at 12.
the rest is your teen years, then adulthood.

but i guess its different for the Lohans.
your a child no matter what your age is.

THANK YOU!

as for lilo opening a rehab centre..
REALLY?!?!

 

[Kenysha75]

The Photoshop Awards: LiLo's Machete Poster

The creators of this Machete poster made the sign of the cross before their version of Photoshop and then used the "May God be with you...." tool to erase any signs of crackiness from LiLo's face.

And it's nice to see that one of the leeches from Puppet Master got a job as LiLo's tongue. I mean, if LiLo really had a tongue like that, SamRo would've never dumped her as*.
Dlisted

 

[sethii]

It's one thing to get free swag when you're a celebrity - but a free lawyer?
Troubled Lindsay Lohan - whose attorney Shawn Chapman HolleyRadarOnline.com has exclusively learned. abruptly quit last week - wants her next attorney to represent her for free,
A source close to the situation tells us, "Lindsay wants her new attorney to represent her for free. Lindsay doesn't think she should pay for a new lawyer, period. Lindsay has gone through two attorneys already."
The insider tells us while the Mean Girls star, 24, has met with famed L.A. attorney Robert Shapiro - whose past clients have included O.J. Simpson, Christian Brando and the Kardashians - "Robert hasn't decided if he is going to take the case or not."
Adding to Lohan's legal woes, the starlet doesn't have the unlimited funds she used to. Our source says, "The type of lawyers Lindsay is used to having are expensive because they are simply the best at what they do. Lindsay just doesn't have the money that she used to pay for the best. The lawyers she is interviewing wouldn't represent her for free, period."
When she does get a new attorney, there's no guarantee he or she will take the case at no charge.
Last week, L.A. Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel sentenced Lohan to 90 days in jail, followed by 90-days in rehab for violating conditions of her probation related to her 2007 DUI conviction.
Judge Revel has ordered Lohan to surrender to authorities by July 20th to begin serving her sentence. Lohan is expected to appeal.

radaronline

 

[pengy]

Was this posted already?
(sorry I havent checked this thread in a while)

Lindsay Lohan on the cover of German GQ (August 2010)

cocoperez

 

[Boomer]

^ Expected to appeal!!? She has three working court days until she has to turn herself in...which is to say, before the sheriff comes to get her...
I thought the judge said her old lawyer had to stay?